Dumbleweed 9:28 Tue Jun 26
Describe your neighbours
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On the one side are Mr and Mrs Tidy. Both early 30s, no children, compulsively clean and tidy. His BMW is always spotless and gets a major wash every Saturday morning to ensure it stays that way. Their garden is neat and symmetrical - hanging flower pots at the same place on both sides, three large terracotta pots at the bottom of the garden and three at the top. The rotating washing line is bang in the middle. He works in finance or something, she spends her days on a part-time job and in the gym. It's a splendid life, I'm sure, with no obvious vices. It's secure anyway.
On the other side lives Mr Untidy. He's in his early 50s, overweight and divorced with two kids up north. He works for the council and lives for his dog, a plumpish black lab. He got engaged last year, but broke that off. Now his ex-fiancee comes down once a week. His garden is overgrown, and his house is full of RAF memorabilia. He likes his lager and has recently given up smoking. He's a reliable, helpful and thoroughly likable fellow.
Everybody needs good neighbours.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
folkestone iron
8:39 Wed Jun 27
Re: Describe your neighbours
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worm 1:39 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
Somewhere in a parallel universe our neighbours are describing us.
I'm getting compliments all over the shop.
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you spelt complaints wrong
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Finnish Ironing
8:34 Wed Jun 27
Re: Describe your neighbours
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monto - ha ha ha!
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monto
8:28 Wed Jun 27
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Daft old bat who called the police after thinking, she overheard us plotting her murder.
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Bleeding Claret
6:31 Wed Jun 27
Re: Describe your neighbours
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A pair of cunts on one side and some cunt living on his own on the other.
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Far East Hammer
6:13 Wed Jun 27
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Next door, a Cathay Pacific airbus pilot from Henley. When he moved in his bint was a flight attendant. They seem to have broken up (though they make a habit of it). And Mrs FEH keeps complaining about the variety of women that seem to "pop by" his place. (Lucky git!)
Opposite: in one flat an old British geezer with an almost as old Chinese wife.
In the other flat, we think it's owned by a Hong Kong Chinese who lives overseas (maybe Canada) with occasional appearances of her and sometimes by others who we reckon must be her middle aged kid & spouse.
Directly upstairs, was an Indian family with a multitude of kids who made all manner of noise at all hours. Not sure if they've moved out and the flat is being done up (lots of builders' noises) - but then again it might just be that some of the kids have got even noisier...
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Too Much Too Young
8:18 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Clowns to the left of me, jokers on the right....
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Pringle
7:15 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Old dear about 88 years old one side and a young couple in their 30`s the other, his old man is a yid.
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Blunders
7:15 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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anyone else noticed a disproportionately high number of people living next door to poofters on this thread.
Are they quietly taking over?!`
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Pringle
7:14 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Yorkammer 6:35 Tue Jun 26
quality
ag ag ag ag ag
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Xnulian Rrudho
7:10 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Downstairs is one of those corner shops where all the prices are handwritten on little bits of paper, none of them match the price written on the packaging, and most of them are outrageously high, banking on people coming in at 3am when nothing else is open I suppose
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Xnulian Rrudho
7:07 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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On one side; Arabic blokes, I see them every now and again, but have only ever heard a sound from their house once - saying that, it was the Muslim call to prayer, and it was DEAFENINGLY loud. They have what looks like a West Ham flag with crossed hammers up in their window, but on closer inspection it's not.
On the other side; fuck all.
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stirlinghammer
6:48 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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divorced scottish policeman on one side - RANGERS fan - works in armed response unit - been doing up his house for 15 years, .....great bloke
family on the other side, dad being black cab driver, ARSENAL fans...
apart from one bell end, great street to live in...
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Yorkammer
6:35 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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ted fenton 9:35 Tue Jun 26
'Either side, very nice couples in their 70's'
Must be strange living with your kids next door on both sides.
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SnarestoneIron
5:46 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Nice couple to one side of us, couple of labs, now the kids have left home no noise!
Couple of gay lads the other side. Now the lesbian coppers have moved out of the village, I believe they are the only gays in the village. Fucked us around over a piece of land we were going to buy from them, but that's one of those things.
At the bottom of our garden is a field, with several chickens and a cockeral. Nicest neighbours of all! One of them proved a tasty meal for our collie cross when it flew into our garden! Holly is 14, does not walk far, and certainly does not run...unless she sees food. The chicken was food! By the time I saw her, she had eaten half of it! Luckily, did not harm our relationship with the owners, he just laughed, she was a bit upset, but relaized they should have clipped their wings better!
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ted fenton
5:21 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Actually a very good thread :-)
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N0nce
5:15 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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I like this thread!
Good works Dumbleweed..
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busheyhammer85
5:06 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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At my Mum & Dad's you've got Liz and Pete one side, they are my Dad's best mates Mum and Dad... The other side are some one up one down flats.
Top floor is Steve... Always can here him cracking up for no apprarent reason... My old man used to work with him at the pizza factory when he was younger, apparently a shit hot goalkeeper in his day. He is uncle to John, Richard, Peter (RIP) and Ashley who live in a road nearby.
Bottom floor has seen a few characters, Cecil (RIP), Tommy Smith (Pikey), Alan (AKA Boris) who has taken far too much LSD, and now Bimmo, who is a top man and loves a drink / session.
Not to mention Nosey Colin opposite, the milkman that never sleeps.
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Chalkie the Ponce
5:06 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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.. both sides quiet and rarely seen, although the couple on one side's wife has HUGE tits and doe slike to run down the road now and then :0)
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zilla
4:58 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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old cunt on one side seems sound minds his own biz and is plesent enough
two benders moved in the other side, fairy lights on the gutters and all sorts , to be fair they are good as gold quiet, not likley to have screaming kids
geeza across the rod is a wanker, some airforce ponce who is shit scared of his dog , which is some halfbreed of pansy breeds i dont even know the names,bellend
pretty lucky it seems
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Alwaysaniron
4:50 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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Shoe bomber in the cell on the left and a arsonist in the one on the right! Holloway is ok though, although I'm fucked if they ever do a sex test!
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LeroysBoots
4:50 Tue Jun 26
Re: Describe your neighbours
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You guys !!!
he has gone away on a cvrusie with his Mrs and left me the keys to his house to water his garden !!!!
No, I wont shit in his bed !
JustAFatKevinDavies 4:45 Tue Jun 26
Just a normal little mansion mate
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