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les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
Same as before

The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

Helmut Shown 9:38 Tue Nov 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
In the lavatory yesterday
I washed my arse in the bidet.
The shit's broken down
as the water runs brown
When clear, just turn off the spray

There a was an old soldier called Green
Fell and rolled into a latrine

arsene york-hunt 2:03 Tue Nov 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
Now, winter is starting to bite,
It gets rather cold in the night,
It is at these times,
I seek sunnier climes,
So I'm off to the Isle of Wight.

In the lavatory yesterday
I washed my arse in the bidet.

Mike Oxsaw 8:19 Mon Nov 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
There was a young lady called Dora,
Did things with her labia minora,
Like pleasing her men,
Again and again,
For which, I am told, they adore her.

Now, winter is starting to bite,
It gets rather cold in the night.

arsene york-hunt 4:15 Mon Nov 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
The white elephant at White Hart Lane
May need a a cash transplant again,
Investment so bold
May cause them to fold.
And fuck up their "Big club" refrain.

There was a young lady called Dora,
Did things with her labia minora

Helmut Shown 2:07 Mon Nov 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
"International breaks? a fucking joke!"
I heard in the pub from some bloke.
A second class game
To bring Rooney more fame
A testimonial and not worth a poke

The white elephant at White Hart Lane
May need a a cash transplant again

arsene york-hunt 12:52 Mon Nov 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
The pundits you see on tv
With most of them I dont agree,
They take any fool
Who's played for Liverpool,
Their bias, there for all to see.

"International breaks? a fucking joke!"
I heard in the pub from some bloke.

Helmut Shown 10:31 Sun Nov 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
The Grim Reaper came to take him,
Heart attack while licking a quim.
He thought it was best,
A night on the nest
Instead of an hour at the gym

The pundits you see on tv
With most of them I dont agree

arsene york-hunt 1:13 Sun Nov 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
You're richer than me - IT'S NOT FAIR!!
So all that you have you MUST share!
But that's what I'm doing
By your service pursuing,
Now please remove your underwear.

The Grim Reaper came to take him,
Heart attack while licking a quim.

Mike Oxsaw 11:51 Sun Nov 18
Re: New Limerick Thread
A hypnotist put girls into trances
Before making sexual advances
When they closed their eyes,
He'd fondle their thighs,
Or higher, when offered the chances.

You're richer than me - IT'S NOT FAIR!!
So all that you have you MUST share!

Helmut Shown 11:21 Sat Nov 17
Re: New Limerick Thread
Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station,
Once caused a national sensation
A police patrol
Saw his knob through a hole
And a bit more than masturbation

A hypnotist put girls into trances
Before making sexual advances

arsene york-hunt 9:35 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
i'm supping a very fine ale,
Not porter or stout - it's quite pale,
It's not to bitter,
And when on the shitter,
A good output you just never fail

Peter Wyngarde in Gloucester bus station,
Once caused a national sensation

Mike Oxsaw 6:41 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
A sad thing in Dagenham East
Is the tale of the perverted Priest
On The Chase he would dog
With a chink and a wog
That should get me a carding, at least...

I'm supping a very fine ale,
Not porter or stout - it's quite pale

arsene york-hunt 4:48 Tue Nov 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
It'll soon be Christmas no doubt,
Nearly time to get my balls out,
Put them on the tree,
But between you and me
I sometimes put it up without.

A sad thing in Dagenham East
Is the tale of the perverted Priest

wanstead_hammer 3:18 Mon Nov 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
The footballer Franz Beckenbauer,
Once had a Sherman in the shower.
He got in there first,
Pulled out his bratwurst,
and stayed in there over half hour.


It'll soon be Christmas no doubt,
Nearly time to get my balls out,

arsene york-hunt 2:05 Mon Nov 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
In Romford? traditional stalls.
Not there will you find shopping malls,
Selling mistletoe,
Big tins of fake snow
And dec'rative christmas tree balls.

The footballer Franz Beckenbauer,
Once had a Sherman in the shower.

Mike Oxsaw 10:48 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
Nothing can cause a worse rift
Than dropping a fart in a lift
That's not really true.
For, if you follow through,
The occupants will be more miffed.

In Romford? traditional stalls.
Not there will you find shopping malls

Helmut Shown 9:43 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
I woke up this morning, quite bright.
I felt that I slept well last night
As I opened my eyes
A horrible surprise
A cock pointing at me, face height.

Nothing can cause a worse rift
Than dropping a fart in a lift

Mike Oxsaw 9:12 Sun Nov 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure
And even if ma'am
Doth favour West Ham
He'll have to make do with folklore.

I woke up this morning, quite bright.
I felt that I slept well last night

arsene york-hunt 4:24 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer
It's a time of the year,
For the woman or queer,
But when it comes I shall not be here

A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure

arsene york-hunt 4:12 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer
It's a time of the year,
For the woman or queer,
But when it's done I shall be glad.

A knighthood for our Bobby Moore,
Won't be given, you can be sure

cup of tea 3:07 Thu Nov 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
The fashions I wore as a lad,
Could best be described as "Well bad."
With tongues out your trainers
Fuck all the complainers
It was a 90s fashion or fad

So Xmas is almost here
Fuck off I hear you all cheer

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