les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Helmut Shown
11:38 Wed Jun 29
Re: New Limerick Thread
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In a coffee shop in Lugano,
I requested an Americano
He looked down his nose
As I adopted a pose
Like a poor man’s Inspector Montalbano
(Thanks for that Arsene!)
Girls who are fat at the front
Their privates are known as a “gunt”
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arsene york-hunt
11:10 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A widow with a spare coffee perc,
Would often use it for a jerk,
On her vulva vibrated
'Til passions were sated
Making coffee? The cunt didn't work.
In a coffe shop in Lugano,
I requested an Americano
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arsene york-hunt
11:10 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A widow with a spare coffee perc,
Would often use it for a jerk,
On her vulva vibrated
'Til passions were sated
Making coffee? The cunt didn't work.
In a coffe shop in Lugano,
I requested an Americano
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Mike Oxsaw
11:03 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young Indian girl from Darjeeling
On trying anal sex started squealing
Loose leaf or bags,
With those types of shags,
Neither is really appealing.
A widow with a spare coffee perc,
Would often use it for a jerk
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Helmut Shown
10:48 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A "lady" from near Canning Town
Would drop 'em for just half a crown
If you gave her five bob
She'd suck on your knob
Look up and swallow it down
A young Indian girl from Darjeeling
On trying anal sex started squealing
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arsene york-hunt
4:02 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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People who get no action
End up on Naked Attraction,
A contestant named Jake,
Had abdominal ache,
Which was caused by faecal impaction.
A "lady" from near Canning Town
Would drop 'em for just half a crown
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Helmut Shown
12:39 Tue Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I ordered a vodka and coke,
From the barman - a really nice bloke
But the mixologist scum
Was after my bum
There's nowt as queer as folk
People who get no action
End up on Naked Attraction
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Mike Oxsaw
5:42 Mon Jun 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I always give my seat on the bus
To pregnant PEOPLE to avoid fuss.
But I drive and collect fares,
So this often gets stares,
And passengers quite often cuss.
I ordered a vodka and coke,
From the barman - a really nice bloke
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arsene york-hunt
4:18 Mon Jun 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
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My Walker crisps are salt n vinegar
I took no refugees from Dominica
I have pointy big ears,
I'm liked by the queers
And the BBC pays a few knicker.
I always give my seat on the bus
To pregnant PEOPLE to avoid fuss.
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eswing hammer
10:32 Mon Jun 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A perverted man from Gerrards Cross
At his window stood having a toss.
At first glance we thought blimey
It has to be Mike Riley
But no it’s our old mate Jon Moss
My Walker crisps are salt n vinegar
I took no refugees from Dominica
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arsene york-hunt
2:26 Mon Jun 27
Re: New Limerick Thread
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That bloke on the cricket Zak Crawley
Whenever he plays he plays poorly
Can't bowl, and can't catch,
Guaranteed quick dispath,
Be better off Robert Morely.
A perverted man from Gerrards Cross
At his window stood having a toss.
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Helmut Shown
6:33 Sun Jun 26
Re: New Limerick Thread
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We're a nation of victims and whiners,
Of hair stylists, fashion designers
Reality shows
With pout lipped bimbos
All with designer vaginas
That bloke on the cricket Zak Crawley
Whenever he plays he plays poorly
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arsene york-hunt
2:31 Sun Jun 26
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Too early to open a beer?
The time's about right somewhere near.
Such decisions cause,stress
My life's a great mess,
I will top myself soon I fear.
We're a nation of victims and whiners,
Of hair stylists, fashion designers
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Mike Oxsaw
6:10 Sat Jun 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There's something terribly wrong
To get a new signing's too long
We do it in stages
So Sully saves wages
And pays for the players a song.
Too early to open a beer?
The time's about right somewhere near
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Helmut Shown
6:05 Sat Jun 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Like the buses you wait for a rhyme,
And then two arrive at the same time
Why limit the pleasure?
By getting double measure
Its not exactly a crime
There's something terribly wrong
To get a new signing's too long
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arsene york-hunt
2:18 Sat Jun 25
Re: New Limerick Thread
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As an average British bystander
I think Boris should stay in Rwanda,
This Etonian knob,
Should fuck off from job,
And work in the zoo feeding the panda
An innocent man from the south,
Was caught with a cock in his mouth,
He turned out to be
An old celebrity,
Candid Camera's Jonathan Routh.
Like the buses you wait for a rhyme,
And then two arrive at the same time,
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Mike Oxsaw
6:40 Fri Jun 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A judge watching porn in his court,
Thought it rather strange he got caught,
It was on the big screen,
Where all could be seen,
Especially the sailors in port.
An innocent man from the south,
Was caught with a cock in his mouth
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Helmut Shown
6:38 Fri Jun 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A judge watching porn in his court,
Thought it rather strange he got caught
For his perverse enjoyment
He kept his employment
Judicial standards fall short
As an average British bystander
I think Boris should stay in Rwanda
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arsene york-hunt
5:34 Fri Jun 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A strange looking kid from China
Had both a cock and vagina,
Now he's in the dock
As he exposed his cock,
And minge to a horrified minor.
A judge watching porn in his court,
Thought it rather strange he got caught,
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Helmut Shown
12:04 Thu Jun 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
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For actors to get any jobs,
It seems they must expose their knobs
The directors' perverse
and the women fare worse
Forced to put cocks in their gobs
A strange looking kid from China
Had both a cock and vagina
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