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Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
Usual rules apply

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eswing hammer 11:03 Fri Jun 14
Re: 1400 crap jokes.
My wife keeps getting sent flowers but the stems never have any flower heads on ,this kept on so she rang the police but they just said she was being stalked!

Aalborg Hammer 1:29 Fri Jun 14
Re: 1400 crap jokes.
Anne Summers outlets are selling a new alcoholic vagina gel that women can rub on their flaps! So now when the guy goes down he can have a bevvy as well!
However, anti-drink campaigner's want it banned amid fears of 24 hr minge drinking.

joe royal 6:41 Thu Jun 13
1400 crap jokes.
Some dyslectic racist wrote ‘go home cone’ on my neighbours front door.

The Libertine 3:37 Thu Jun 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Aalborg Hammer 8:50 Thu Jun 13

HAHAHA, took me a couple of seconds before I got it.

There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who dont and only half will understand the joke.

Aalborg Hammer 8:50 Thu Jun 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?



He’s OK now.

collyrob 10:30 Tue Jun 11
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Two Chinese boys break into a distillery ,one boy says to the other: “Is this whisky?”
Other boy replies: “Aye but no as whisky as wobbin a bank”

Aalborg Hammer 9:19 Tue Jun 11
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Phone rings, woman answers. The pervert, with heavy breathing, says "Have you got a tight unshaven c*nt ?"

Woman replies "Yes, he's watching television - who shall I say is calling?"

Queens Fish Bar 5:52 Sun Jun 9
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I was looking at my wife, no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up.

Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart.

"you are a mess and I'm disgusted with you." I said

"I'm still the woman you love and married," she said "sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit."

"We're on our fucking honeymoon" I replied.

Mirkwood 10:04 Sat Jun 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
haha

Queens Fish Bar 3:30 Sat Jun 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Yesterday was a bit of a strange day!

First, I found a hat full of money and then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

Ridikzappa 8:21 Sat Jun 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A: Ask your mother

arsene york-hunt 3:38 Sat Jun 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Doctor told my wife "You've got acute angina."

She said "Oh... thank you very much."

arsene york-hunt 3:34 Sat Jun 8
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
+What do you call a judge who only presided over one case.

Mr. Justice Once

WELL HAMMERED AGAIN 5:41 Wed Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
What do you call a judge with no balls??

Justice Cock

Aalborg Hammer 9:56 Thu May 30
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.


One guy pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."



The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."



A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."

Aalborg Hammer 8:32 Wed May 29
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The Cher Noble one reminded me of it...sorry !

Hammer and Pickle 7:46 Wed May 29
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I must admit I found it raised a giggle.

Manuel 6:46 Wed May 29
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
collyrob 7:29 Tue May 28

It's literally like he has made it up himself, and why would she be pleased that Castle is her Dad anyway.

Most of the 'jokes' on here are shocking, but carry on, there is the odd good one.

arsene york-hunt 11:13 Tue May 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Bungo 11:52 Tue May 28

That's how I heard the joke but couldn't remember the name.

collyrob 7:29 Tue May 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

Aalborg Hammer 12:40 Tue May 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)


Genuinely one of the worst jokes I’ve ever ever heard.

Aalborg Hammer 12:40 Tue May 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
They've just found out that Beyonces' birth father is the veteran entertainer,Roy Castle.The stars' agent said that she was 'glad to have discovered this but won't be using his surname' in future

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