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Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
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collyrob 9:57 Fri Apr 19
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I told you before Alfie, you are painfully unfunny.

Alfie 1:53 Fri Apr 19
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Copper stops a youth on the streets of london

Youth dem: ' an what copper, an what bredda, what you pull me for?'

Man dem: ' no reason sir other than to say we are having a jamboree at the local station on saturday in aid of the homeless and i wanted to give you this flyer. It will be really good fun'

Yoot dem: ' you mean there is no implicit or unspoken racist intent in your engaging with me star?'

Man dem: ' no sir. There will be a tombola, and home made jam stalls and that'

Yoot mans: ' sweet as. See you there you gi me'

Passer by ' What a lovely harmonious vignette of london street life in 2019'

mallard 1:40 Fri Apr 19
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Aalborg Hammer 9:23 Fri Apr 12

Superb !

ray winstone 1:36 Fri Apr 19
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)

ted fenton 2:16 Sat Apr 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with

normal results.
The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally
and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'
George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's
fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,
poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off.'
'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the Doctor calls George's wife. 'Ethel,' he says,
'George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his
relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof!
The light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! The light goes

'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims. 'He's pissing in the fridge again!!!

Haz 9:47 Fri Apr 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Just learned that a dentist a block away from here has been arrested for dealing drugs. It shows you just how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him for over 10 years. Never knew he was a dentist.

Mike Oxsaw 9:33 Fri Apr 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Dianne Abbot is suing Tesco for using her signature on their Hot Cross Buns.

Aalborg Hammer 9:23 Fri Apr 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Went to a bulimia party yesterday. Place was heaving.

joyo 1:50 Sat Apr 6
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Just been watching Benefit street and to be honest it's not much different to Sesame Street.... Both have a big bird and bloke living out of a bin plus loads of people trying to learn the alphabet.

devonhammer 12:34 Wed Apr 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
It was hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey....

But I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about.

arsegrapes 11:11 Mon Apr 1
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Ali and Mohammad were begging on a street in London. Mohammad was just getting by, but couldn’t work out how Ali drove home in a new BMW and owned a large house outright, so he asked Ali how he could afford so much while he was still sleeping rough?

Ali said, “that’s easy I just hold up this sign”, which read “£10.00 to go back home, thank you please”!

Aalborg Hammer 11:44 Thu Mar 28
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
An old Yorkshireman was lying on his bed dying.
With a weak voice he asks:

“Is r lass ‘ere?”

“Aye,am here luv”

“Are mi kids ‘ere?”

“Aye,they’re all ‘ere,luv”

“Are mi grandkids ‘ere?”

“Yes Granddad,we’re all ‘ere”

“Then why is the bloody light in kitchen still on?”

Aalborg Hammer 10:17 Wed Mar 27
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
The wife asked if I loved her or football the most.

I said “open your legs and I’ll show you”.

Nutmegged her.

arsene york-hunt 10:02 Thu Mar 21
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Scouser goes with a prostitute, she asks him if he wants a blow job,

He says "Will it effect my dole money?"

joyo 10:56 Sun Mar 17
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Elton John is going to release a charity single for the Mosque shooting victims in Christchurch.... Its going to be called 'sandels in the bin'

Jasnik 7:58 Fri Mar 15
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Declan Rice wins Irish Young Player of the Year award

Aalborg Hammer 4:50 Fri Mar 15
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
My mother was a red Indian and my father a Scotsman...they were going to call me 'Hawkeye the Noo'

CrowleyHammer 4:42 Thu Mar 14
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I reused to believe I was gay and dyslexic.....

I was in daniel.

arsene york-hunt 5:09 Tue Mar 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
Man: I keep smelling rotten eggs

Doctor: It sounds like you are suffering from an olfactory hallucination. It could be a symptom of a neurological process When do you have this experience?

Man: Every time I fart

The Stoat 4:17 Tue Mar 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perfom under pressure
I told the interviewer I didn't really know that one but could have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody

Aalborg Hammer 3:35 Tue Mar 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
I poured my root beer into a square glass...now I just have beer

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