Mad Dog 6:13 Wed Aug 12
THE joke threads (part 5)
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Usual rules apply
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
boleyn8420
7:43 Mon Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Well I had to tell a popular band how find out how heavy their chilli was, I said:- Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
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With Kind Regards
4:29 Mon Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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On the pirate’s 80th birthday, what did he say to his friend?
‘Aye, matey’…
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Aalborg Hammer
12:26 Mon Jun 5
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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First time I met my wife she was wearing a green jumper and gloves.
I thought "Yep, she's a keeper "
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Briano
12:48 Sun Jun 4
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"
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penners28
3:53 Sat Jun 3
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Bloke came up to me and said “whats your availability to run a football team in sheffield next week?”
I replied
“I cant manage wednesday”
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Aalborg Hammer
7:58 Tue May 30
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Rolf Harris has been buried at sea.
The location of his coffin has been marked by 2 little buoys
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riosleftsock
10:40 Fri May 26
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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I'm just off to fix Cat Stevens' caravan.
Awning has broken.
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Aalborg Hammer
3:55 Tue May 16
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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When I first started my support group for perverted ice cream men, they came in their hundreds and thousands
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Aalborg Hammer
6:58 Fri May 12
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Q. Why don't you get a pregnant Barbie ?
A.'Cos Ken came in a different box
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Aalborg Hammer
9:39 Wed May 10
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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A priest goes into a pub to avoid the rain and spies a member of his congregation in there staring miserably into a pint.
"What's wrong, Brian?" asks the kindly man of God.
"It's my grandfather" replies Brian "he's just died".
"Well, did you not try to take him to Lourdes and get him cured?"
"We had a whip-round in the pub and I went with him, but we had only been there an hour when he died" answered Brian.
"Well" comforts the Priest "sometimes the Lord moves in mysterious ways".
"I think it was more likely to be the speed of the 'king cricket ball that hit him in the head".
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Haz
9:23 Thu Apr 27
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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BillyBondsBirthday 6:38 Fri Apr 21
Ag ag!
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Aalborg Hammer
7:23 Thu Apr 27
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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“I won’t back down” - Tom Petty
“I may readjust my stance if you have a reasonable argument” - Tom Reasonable
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Nurse Ratched
5:16 Tue Apr 25
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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BBB
Arf!
Where Didi Gogo? 😉
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arsene york-hunt
1:37 Tue Apr 25
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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joyo 2:42 Sun Apr 16
That joke should be updated to Cristian Stellini
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Helmut Shown
12:18 Tue Apr 25
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Did you know if you enter Moyes, Sullivan and Cresswell in What 3 Words you end up shit creek?
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BillyBondsBirthday
6:38 Fri Apr 21
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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I was pleased when the Gent sub Godeau came on in the 84th minute last night.
I had been waiting for him.
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Stevethehammer
3:10 Sun Apr 16
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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David Moyes having 2 goalkeepers on the bench
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joyo
2:42 Sun Apr 16
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Fat Frank must be the worst caretaker since Ian Huntley
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Westside
7:46 Fri Apr 14
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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A Professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students. This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.’
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riosleftsock
8:42 Thu Apr 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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Just had some great financial news, couldn't have come at a better time, with the cost of living crisis and the price of everything going up.
The kid I sponsor in Africa has been eaten by a lion.
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Aalborg Hammer
2:21 Thu Apr 13
Re: THE joke threads (part 5)
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What's the similarity between George Michael and a pair of wellington boots- they both got sucked off in bogs
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