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MikeHammer 10:27 Sat Jul 9
Tips to killing a tree
I need to get rid of a tree which is almost the height of a three story house and a stump of over half a metre diameter. Heard about copper nails as a possible but has anyone had success with this or other methods?

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

strong dreams 11:28 Mon Jul 11
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Be careful it's not protected. You could get done for treeSON!

, 11:06 Mon Jul 11
Re: Tips to killing a tree
What type of tree is it, oak, ash or some sort of conifer?

bloodinmepoo 10:56 Mon Jul 11
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Get Oscar Pistorious he's good with stumps

Gruesome Dump 1:40 Mon Jul 11
Re: Tips to killing a tree
MikeHammer 4:02 Sun Jul 1

Sadly, that dull cunt hasn't the nouse to comprehend your post. He's busy infiltrating a minor.

Northern Sold 8:39 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Keep hitting it with a sharpened chrome bar stool... nothing lives after that

The old c wing 5:45 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Get a tee surgeon - probably won't be as much as you think

Ask him if he has a stump grinder....

Mike Oxsaw 5:10 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Advertise it in the Islington Gazzette as "Potential logs, for the use of in trendy wood-burning stove - part of local roots urban regeneration scheme: buyer collects".

Swampy's grown up brother & Co will be all over it.

Tomshardware 4:09 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Depends on where it's situated, if it's free standing and can't cause any damage when she falls then it's easier. But as others have said anything that has the potential to go wrong and you'll be much better getting a tree surgeon.

I took the top out of a big apple tree a few years back and because of how balanced the weight of the canopy was this thing just sat on top even though I'd sawed about 95% of it through. Had an absolute bastard of a job trying to pull it down with rope.

norwaytips 4:07 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
I only read his OP, so never saw any joke comments. Not anything a couple of copper nails will solve. He will have to get someone in, in any case. May as well do that from the off.

MikeHammer 4:02 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Norway ... You do realise that Stewey's comment about him and my brother helping was an old joke .. 'Tree fellers' ?

norwaytips 3:57 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Just get a professional in. It is NOT a job, for you and a couple of mates.

neilalex 2:20 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
I've had a lot of trees cut down, and cut a few down myself. It's categorically not a diy job unless it's in relatively open space. If you need it to fall a particular way then you definitely need a tree surgeon. For example, you might think you've cut it correctly to get it to fall in a given direction, but a tree surgeon will have looked at it as to where the balance and weight of the upper tree is, as this will affect that.

Bear in mind that even a medium size tree can easily weigh two or three tons and you will definitely die if it ends up on top of you.

claret on my shirt 1:53 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
whats the poor tree done wrong?

1964 12:15 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Murderer

bruuuno 11:09 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Just windmill the cunt while chanting east east east London

Crassus 10:43 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
And Mike here is another tip for you, Lop off the boughs first, try to do so evenly having tied them in before cutting, then drop them after

Above all else, be careful, trees are unpredictable when felled, that and chain/power saws are not happy bedfellows

Tomshardware 10:31 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Very true Crassus, I've felled a few medium sized trees and it's only when they come down do you realise how big they are.

Browno22 10:24 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Slit his throat

Crassus 10:15 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Mike, when the fucker comes down, hopefully in the right direction, have a plan for the proceeds and believe me when I say that what ever you see up there will be an awful lot more on the ground, and bloody heavy too

MikeHammer 10:10 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Not sure what tree it is but certainly not a birch !

roltrader 10:05 Sun Jul 10
Re: Tips to killing a tree
Poison the birch !!

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