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SilverSurfer 12:33 Sun Mar 12
cold calling

some 'no mark' rings you up to ask about PIP or an accident that you don't know about.

They have disturbed your life, especially if you are waiting for an important call.

they started it, so....

How nasty, racist can you get?

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

claret on my shirt 3:47 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
I love the one you get where they tell you have been in a acident recently, i tell i lost one testical and had cuts on my bell end, funny as hell watching them aquirm and then get upset when they realize you have ben winding them up.

Bungo 3:28 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
SnarestoneIron 3:22 Mon Mar 13

Ah, OK.

My next move is to pretend I'm typing in what they want only for an 'error' message to come up. My broadband connection sometimes 'goes out' for a few seconds as well, leading to have to start the process all over again usually.

Trying to puzzle that one out can take them quite a while as well.

SnarestoneIron 3:22 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Bungo 1:54 Mon Mar 13

They've grown wise to that one, as only yesterday I asked exactly that, and they said that all the PC's are on the same network and all are affected! When I first asked, she said it's your Windows PC, I said I had multiple Windows PC's and on we went!

Bungo 1:54 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
SnarestoneIron 11:48 Mon Mar 13

I like them.

Can completely tie them in knots by asking them which one of my computers this call is related to.

Them: 'The computer running Windows'.

Me: Yes but I have a few of those so surely as you know I have a virus, you must also know which of my computers this relates to?

This usually starts a great exchange where I get more 'confused', as the bloke the other end gets more and more annoyed. Important to stay polite as they think they've got a bite and waste even more time on you.

Put it on speakerphone once and had the rest of the family crying with laughter as we went round and round the houses...

Grumpster 1:31 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
All gone a little bit crazy recently.

Had two days off work recently working at home and had a total of around 15 calls to the landline.

Didn't answer a single call, but the joy that is 1471 told me that every single one of them was from a call centre or charity.

Don't mind giving the odd fiver to charity, but the cunts then feel the need to constantly pester you for more afterwards.

Josh 1:26 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Sign up to the TPS (http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/index.html) landline and mobile and if anyone persistently calls you can claim money back from them.

Keeno78 12:53 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Download an app called TrueCaller on your phone and the problem is no more.

Blocks or alerts you to spam calls, never have to answer them unless I want the amusement.

Sydney_Iron 11:56 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
The accident people are the best, I go on about the amputation, loss of job, divorce etc, but after we go through all the process I then tell them how unreasonable I think the authorities and insurance companyโ€™s have been, even though I was blind drunk when I had the accident, donโ€™t have a car licence, due to the 10 year ban, and have been jailed for petty driving offences like hit and run.

Its at this point, they hang up.

Winding these cunts up is almost a sport!

Aalborg Hammer 11:51 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling

SnarestoneIron 11:51 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
And btw, I blame the NHS for the accident claim people making calls...within an hour of getting home from hospital after an xray (I had a fracture, but the NHS did not pick up, only found out when I went private, but that's another story!) I received a call from one of these companies who knew I'd had an accident! Only the NHS or one of its employees could have given my details out...

SnarestoneIron 11:48 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
I love the Indian's that phone up and tell me my PC is at risk and ask me to bring up he screen and type some commands and then tell them what it now says on screen. They don't like it when I tell them it says 'Fuck off you wanker' on the screen. If you drag this out you can waste about 10 minutes if their time! My 80 year old dad also does the same now, he finds it highly amusing!

Bungo 11:16 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Alwaysaniron 11:14 Mon Mar 13

That's the spirit! So much fun to be had.

Alwaysaniron 11:14 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
I tend to wander around the house chatting gainfully with them for a bit. If it's the 'accident call' I usually agree I have been involved and then tell them of the terrible traumas I have suffered, loss of limbs, chronic depression blah blah blah. If it's PPI I usually listen then try to flog them Double Glazing telling them I'll be doing them and their family a real favour. Got one Manc lad right wound up the other week.

Your mum 10:34 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Racist? You've let yourself down here Silver..

Dr Moose 10:28 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
If they get through my truecaller app I occasionally answer Detective Sargeant Moose, Medway CID; they hang up pretty sharpish.

Willtell 10:07 Mon Mar 13
Re: cold calling
Just interupt them with "Not in the slightest bit interested" before they fully get into their stride.

several times I've used "What's got 12inches and hangs up?"

Then hanging up...

collyrob 1:22 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling

Son of Anarchy 2:29 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling
You dont have to spell over the phone you fat cunt


Mike Oxsaw 1:20 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling
As soon as I realise the type of call I put the phone down on a soft surface then have a cup of the. If they're desperate they'll ring back by which time I'll have probably added their number to the "answer and immediately hang up" option on my call screener app.

BRANDED 1:12 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling
I turn the radio on a leave them speaking to radio 5 live

Hammer and Pickle 12:13 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling
Wish I had the time for that Bungo, what with my WHO duties and all.

Bungo 11:02 Sun Mar 12
Re: cold calling
There is a lot of fun to be had with these people, especially the spammer variety who are 'calling you from the technical department of Microsoft' about a virus or something they have detected on my computer.

Personally I take great enjoyment stringing them along. wasting their time, occasionally getting passed onto a supervisor because I have confused the first caller so badly with my polite, convoluted responses.

21 minutes is my record so far before they cut me off utterly exasperated, but I am always trying to improve on this time.

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