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Leonard Hatred 10:04 Fri Apr 14
When was the last time you punched someone?
Talk to me.

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

TheBoleynBoy 6:23 Tue Apr 18
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
November - Scotland at Home

Far East Hammer 5:23 Tue Apr 18
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
My last physical altercation was probably about 7-8 years ago

Just moved into a new flat. Had already wasted quite a bit of time waiting for Cable-TV + broadband people to install their service, then come back a couple more times to get it properly working.

Had taken yet another morning off for the wankers to come back as once again their previous fix only held up for about 48 hours. I get a call at 5 to 1 saying he'd be late. I asked when. He promised before 2. Come 2.30 he still wasn't there so I go down in the lift.

He's then nonchantly entering the building.

He laughs and says "well do you want it fixing or not" When we get back to my apartment I call the service people to complain about his being late and his comment and thinking it's funny to make customers waste time. He then swears in front of me and my then 7 year old daughter.

At this point I pick him up by the scruff of his collar and hurl him out of our apartment, I think also hurling up against a wall before I returned to the apartment to grab his bag of kit and hoiking this out of the door.

Ten minutes later I get a call from the service centre asking if he can come back. I say if they send the same guy back they'll need to call an ambulance for him. Then tell them that I'm cancelling the service - I then of course get the run around that cancellation is a different department - leading to still more "fun and games"

As for actually thumping someone - probably would have been when a mate got jumped coming out of a boozer in Guildford in '94 (resulting in me getting thumped by the guy I thumped plus his mate who were both champion gypsy-boxers so I ended up with the mother of all shiners!). I think there might have been other instances in '94 which would have been purely political but I think the non-political boozer incident was the last time.

Nurse Ratched 5:47 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Arf!

ohgodno 4:36 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Nurse Ratched 9:25 Sun Apr 16

That hasn't happened yet but could see that resulting in yet another accidental punch. I'm on about four so far and can't for the life of me work out why it hasn't resulted in a kicking. I can only think people assume I've got Tourettes because I'm usually shout "fuck, shit, sorry" as the back of the hand hits.

The other day I was stood at a crossing waiting, listening to some D and B. The bass dropped suddenly and as a result I suddenly ducked. Right down to my haunches. Fuck knows why. People around me sort of half ducked. I then had to follow the crowd who saw me do it about 400m up the road.

JOHNNY V 8:49 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
16 years ago started a new job on the Friday of the first week get invited out for beers on some boat going up and down the Thames, anyway fella on there acting the idiot I am sitting having a chat on a table with someone I had previously worked with who happened to be on there when this bloke falls to the floor (someone moved his chair from under him as he went to sit down) he walks up to me and punches me in the face thinking its me that pulled the chair away. Without thinking I instinctively hit him straight back and he crashed to the floor spark out ( he was hammered) this all happened in front of the guy who had hired me. Got off the boat met my mate with blood spray down my white ralf said that's me sacked on Monday and went Vivos for the night. On the Monday he apologised said he had been told he had hit the wrong person and had stitches in the side of his face (I had a ring on) anyway nothing ever came of it and I worked there for nearly 10 years.

Cheezey Bell-End 2:31 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Sure you weren't really really pissed and it was actually your mate?

ray winstone 1:37 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
I nutted a bloke called Jason in Greece a few years back cos I caught him snogging my mates missus. Silly really but I was pissed and he was a cunt, I can still remember the crunching sound my head made against his nose, poor fucker.

mashed in maryland 1:16 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Can only assume that was meant as some form of insult?

*shrugs*

Beats doing litres of plonk to oneself, tbf.

Hammer and Pickle 12:31 Mon Apr 17
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
I believe mim does self-criticism on Thursdays.

Cheezey Bell-End 10:14 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Reminds me of the time I ate a space cake in Amsterdam and was convinced I had insects running over me.. That and waiting for the people walking past my room to kick the door in.

Nurse Ratched 9:25 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Excellent.

Now wait till old age creeps up (as it has on me) and you get 'eye floaters', which are particularly visible and distracting in bright light. Every time you move your eyeballs, a small dark shadow darts quickly at the edge or even front of your field of vision.

I am utterly convinced for a few seconds that I'm being invaded by a wasp. Flappy arms, panic, squeaking, fleeing, the lot. In public.

ohgodno 8:55 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Nurse Ratched 8:29 Sun Apr 16

I do but if i can't see them it freaks me out. I could "hold" a wasp but when one cruises past the side of my eye it brings out all sorts of primate style activity. Bees to a lesser extent. Flies move too fast. And moths too hap-hazard.

I have the reaction-to-movement-in-my peripheral-vision skills of a top slip fielder. However this power is only use for hitting people beside me and knocking things over. Me in a beer garden on flying ant day is fucking carnage.

Cheezey Bell-End 8:38 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Plenty of times I wanted to, but I'm not really equipped for it. Would just hurt my hand.

There was a time on a plane once when I thought I would have to defend myself, but the bloke backed down.

Nurse Ratched 8:29 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
I thought you LIKED wasps!

ohgodno 7:57 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Intentionally: about 15 years ago. A mad bloke stormed into the office where I worked (which was a normal occurrence because it was a night-shelter and people were always forgetting to lock the back door into the office. 9.9 times out of 10 this would have been no problem but this bloke was clearly off his tits). He roared at us for about two minutes and and then ripped off his shirt. As he was doing that I hit him in the head with a hay-maker while holding a massive hole-puncher. It felt very satisfying. My policy is, when faced with an angry mentally-ill person, hit or run when clothes start coming off.

Unintentionally: Summer before last in a beer garden. I've a phobia of wasps. As a result any small black dot that appears on the periphery of my vision gets swung at before i know about it. On this occasion it was a mans head that provoked the swing and he got the back of my hand across his forehead. There was a tense two second period and I believe I was saved from a savage beating by the absolute hysterics of my friends coupled and the look of horror on my face. He took it in good humour.

sidneyshitcunt 12:25 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Davina McCall, with Mary Portas, in 1992, though she asked for it in sado-masochistic roleplay in exchange for a big bag of drugs.

bruuuno 12:18 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
UK coming together after Brexit says May:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39607056

Darby_ 11:41 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
Stop turning everything into a Brexit/politics thread you tedious bores.

BRANDED 11:35 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
I always imagine MiM with long black dyed hair and all black clothes with mascara and black lipstick. Cant see him pinching anything but a pet rabbit.

Hammer and Pickle 8:59 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
mim punched someone on Wednesday.

Maybe Wednesday's are the days mim punches people. What does he do on the other days of the week?

Eerie Descent 8:49 Sun Apr 16
Re: When was the last time you punched someone?
So, the last time Vexed punched someone was a Sunday league free for all.

HAHAHAHAHA

I truly can't believe you've posted that. Fucking outstanding stuff.

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