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gregan 12:18 Sat Jul 6
So today a guy was found dead after being found to have cheated on marathon races where he basically finished in records times for his age group. Was caught on a bike and jumping back in the field near the end. He was a Doctor (probably cheated the exams). Denied he cheated, but evidence was overwhelming.

Reminded me of when I put in all the training in for a race only to be denied victory by a cheat. I was livid at the time. All those hours I put in and he walks away with all the glory and accolades. HE WAS HOLDING THE FUCKING EGG WITH HIS OTHER HAND!

Anyone cheated on stuff? I remember a guy at Uni paying some bod to do all his coursework. He gets a degree. The bod gets some £££ to buy some more books. Win win?

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Alfie 1:06 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
Arsene - were you running in slow mo and smoking as you crested the finish line? Chariots of fire style?

arsene york-hunt 1:04 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
I used to do that at school. Did a bit of the cross country, hid in the bushes smoking with mates, joined back in near the end being careful not to finish in too conspicuous position.

bruuuno 1:03 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
How comes he died? Suicide?

I once tried to take a short cut on a cross country run and got lost and came last with all the fat kids

Alfie 12:47 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
I had once applied for a job I really wanted - and wanted it so much - i told porkies on my cv.

I claimed ( in direct contravention of reality) to have a mangel worzel for a head, a wonky carrot nose and a torso and limbs made of jaunty straw and twigs.

You see - the job I had gone for was a Senior Scare Crow position, vice president level, in a muddy arable field near Dedham. 12 mth contract.

On the day of the first interview, I paid childrens television star Worzel Gummidge to stand in for me, miring myself in further lies.

Worzel wore his less recognisable Pumpkin head to the appointment, so as to bolster the ruse. It worked perfectly. On the 17th of April 1978 I graduated with full honours as a Rookie Scarecrow. 2nd class: brussel sprouts.

I am still to this day honoured to stand in the fields & shires of England, putting the shits up several species of crop pecking birds.

Sometimes you see - you have to dabble in a bit of billy bollocks to get your destiny, earn your wheat.

On occasion - when all is dark and the only sound is the snepple of hedge rustling foxes, I can still sometimes just hear the unmistakable rummage of my old pal worzel astride the field, his trousers full of genital cabbages and kindling husks.

gregan 12:33 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
Are you a cheat if you appeal for a throw in or corner that you know has come off you last? Most if not everyone would have done that.

JLAP 12:27 Sat Jul 6
Re: Cheats
Liverpool FC.... end of thread.

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