WHO Poll
Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
24%
  
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
17%
  
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
20%
  
d. Moyes out
37%
  
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham
3%
  



Tomshardware 7:48 Mon Jan 13
Anxiety/depression
Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread.
This thread is sacrosant.Thank you

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

lowlife 2:44 Thu Feb 22
Re: Anxiety/depression
Sorry for your loss NJ. Post as much as you want and need to on here. If it helps in any way, that's what we are all here for.

ray winstone 5:56 Wed Feb 21
Re: Anxiety/depression
My thoughts are with you NJ, sending a virtual hug X

Moncurs Putting Iron 12:39 Wed Feb 21
Re: Anxiety/depression
NJ

There is no timeline, set pattern or formula to grief. Yours is you unique to you individually and to your family as a collective.

Thank you for posting, we really must pick a game to meet up. I owe you a hug.

zico 7:49 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
Best Wishes NJ, so sorry for your loss.

Pentonville 7:12 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
Never forgotten NJ 🙏

Side of Ham 6:55 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
.....Thank you for being brave enough to write about it as well......

Side of Ham 6:53 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
New Jersey, you bloody well ramble on as much as you want, as it is a huge 'get things in perspective' lesson for all of us.

New Jersey 6:12 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
IIt's just over six months since I lost my son, Simon, in a car accident on his way to Bournemouth to watch us at the start of the season. I'm forever grateful for the messages of support from WHO and the bouquet MPI and other sorted, it meant so much. Even now the grief at times is unbearable and if I'm not distracted I think about him all the time. Each day it's difficult to get up but we do and keep ourselves busy and we've had fantastic support from all of our friends. I feel I've made a little progress as I've started to do things because I want to not just to occupy my time. Although it took a while to get it, I'm having bereavement counselling with St Barnabus Hospice and its been absolutely brilliant in helping me cope. One thing that really stuck out was the counsellor said you may see grief as a stone in a jar and there's not much room for anything else but in time, hopefully the gap around the grief stone will get larger and you might be able to cope with other things and she's right. We have in time been able to live more of a ,normal life' but the grief is still there. It's particularly deep at the moment but hopefully it will subside but never go away, not that I want it too really. I also speak to two other parents who have lost a grown up child who reached out to us when it happened and I'm so glad they did as I've found that really helpful. Sorry to ramble on but I just wanted to say something.

Westham67 4:50 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
I know from personal experience that 50 grand plus is doable in casino playing cards

Lee Trundle 3:53 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
"Any other addiction you cannot do 50 grand in a session"

That sounds like a challenge.

Westham67 3:24 Tue Feb 20
Re: Anxiety/depression
People don't understand how destructive a gambling is. Any other addiction you cannot do 50 grand in a session

I gamble responsibly is pathetic that wont deter anyone from gambling. Its like saying I take cocaine and heroin responsibly

There is legislation coming through but being watered down to keep the tax rolling in

zico 7:25 Mon Feb 19
Re: Anxiety/depression
Westham67 4:07 Mon Feb 19

I totally agree. I'm not too keen on Ray Winstone and Keith Lemon (wasn't keen on Lemon anyway) these days purely because when I am watching You Tube gambling ads kick in for a full 40 seconds or so and they seem one of the few you can't skip.

The most bizarre ruling though has to be this. Once I'd realised my problem to get my "fix" I would have the odd play of "demo" slots online. Just for fun of course, no money involved. Couple of years back the British Gambling Authority got involved in that and most demos were blocked. The only way you could play even the demos was to prove your age by signing up to the gambling website who supplied the demo with a card!! Madness, I never did. I could understand it to keep away kids from getting on the ladder with playing slots but for recovering gamblers not particularly sensible.

I got an email once offering 50 free spins for a site. I took it on as it was free spins and a bit of fun. I won £100 out of the free spins but again to claim your winnings you had to sign up to the site with a card. Refused to do that and got another 2 hours of fun losing the £100 that I never had in the first place. Play online Chess now for a bit of fun., I'm absolutely crap so glad theres no money involved in that!

Westham67 4:07 Mon Feb 19
Re: Anxiety/depression
Thanks Charley

zico

I know from my own bitter experience how destructive compulsive gambling is when you have a partner who cannot keep away from playing cards. Well done firstly for realizing you had a problem and then being strong enough to be disciplined. Gambling ads should be banned

zico 1:53 Wed Feb 14
Re: Anxiety/depression
Pentonville 12:15 Wed Feb 14

I wish West Ham were! ;-)

Pentonville 12:15 Wed Feb 14
Re: Anxiety/depression
Fair play Zico..sounds like ur winning to me.

zico 12:58 Tue Feb 13
Re: Anxiety/depression
Appreciate it gents. It was really difficult to see mum with dementia. That's a drain on your sanity seeing a loved one suffering like that every week. We would all love to have our loved ones back but I wouldn't want mum back post 2019 it's a brutal disease. She was great with the gambling issue, always on the end of a phone. Told me I was a prat but didn't hammer me just was there for support. My mates were great as well. I worked out that with an addiction once you accept it you slaughter yourself enough, you don't need others to kick you as well, so their support helped.

Was also surprised how good the counselling was. Didn't really believe in it but ended up only having two sessions. Turned out there is different types of gambling because I only did cards and slots, never bet on horses or dogs etc apart from a fun flutter on the National each year. She said I was a "competitive" gambler whose problem was I didn't like losing. Good for me on the pool table or football pitch but not so good when you are losing at cards or slot machines with no final whistle. It's the "chasing" that's the killer.

It's weird because for years I used to drink a lot socially but never at home. Decided to quit totally last year as I got fed up with getting up several times in the night!! Now I drive when we all go out and I am the one without the hangover the next morning. No issue at all stopping that overnight. Strange.

fraser 9:21 Tue Feb 13
Re: Anxiety/depression
Zico - don't feel silly for being proud, you should be. Well done.

Mike Oxsaw 5:58 Tue Feb 13
Re: Anxiety/depression
zico 7:42 Mon Feb 12

What can one say? Sorry to hear the news about your mum, naturally, but for you? Well done.

I'm sure others will embellish those words because it's an achievement worthy of more than just those two small collections of letters.

charleyfarley 2:08 Tue Feb 13
Re: Anxiety/depression
Well done Zico

lab 10:37 Mon Feb 12
Re: Anxiety/depression
Well done Zico

zico 7:42 Mon Feb 12
Re: Anxiety/depression
Hi all hope all are well.. Been a funny old year and coming up to a year in a month or so since mum passed with dementia. Probate and all that bollocks still going on and only interred the ashes last week. Didn't know someone dying took so long to sort out! Hopefully she is up there listening to the old man moaning about yesterdays result!

Anyway didn't know here else to share this but it's a pretty big thing for me so hope you don't mind. Used to have a pretty big gambling issue with slots and cards which culminated in having such a bad break in Vegas I couldn't afford a Burger King at the airport! Pretty much screwed up the relationship I had at the time although thankfully we are still great friends with both being happy on our own but do lots together including holidays, albeit not to Vegas anymore. Thankfully we weren't married with no kids so no-one was hurt financially except the berk here. Upon my return went to gambling counselling, self excluded from all Casinos and bar a £20 entry fee on a poker tournament on our cruise in 2019 haven't gambled heavily at all.

All I do now is lottery and £3 each week with a mate on the football scores, so just a bit of fun. Up until Christmas I ensured he was the one who went into the betting shop to put the bets on be4cause I couldn't be sure I would walk past those slot machines. Over Christmas though my mate went down with flu so I took on the challenge and it's now 12th February and although we now alternate weeks when we pop in I just walk past those machines on the way in and on the way out with no desire o plonk a fiver in. If I did I probably would get drawn in again but I'm determined not to go there. Got a holiday with the ex planned again in May but will stick with any £20 poker tournament for an hour as it's only a bit of fun. The point of this post is that I honestly didn't think I had it in me to resist but so far I am managing it and a lid is on the monster. Will be careful to not get sloppy.

It's pretty much 10 years to the day since I sat on that plane home feeling really shit and like a dickhead but 10 years on as silly as it sounds quite proud of myself I didn't fall off a cliff and as I say at the moment have the lid on that monster. Shows what you can do and those dark thoughts I had back then are long gone. If I can apply myself that way to the fags that will be something but I'll save that effort until after this years holiday! Cheers all.

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