WHO Poll
Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
20%
  
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
15%
  
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
27%
  
d. Moyes out
35%
  
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham
2%
  



Sarge 5:35 Sun Jan 17
Constipation
Broke collar bone 2 weeks ago in a bike accident

Side effect of the pain killers means I'm currently blocked up like the m20 pre Brexit.

Laxitive sachets arent kicking on yet. Resorting to prune juice currently but no earth wind or fire yet.

Any suggestions (serious or otherwise) from the witch doctors or old wives of WHO?

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

normannomates 1:14 Wed Jan 20
Re: Constipation
Neck the bottle

normannomates 1:12 Wed Jan 20
Re: Constipation
Castor oil

riosleftsock 12:46 Wed Jan 20
Re: Constipation
sarge

try some red wine or ale in moderate quantities

Sarge 11:30 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Turned out all I needed to do was watch Liverpool v man Utd

Literally bored the shit out of me and I had a good dump Sunday night.

Nothing since so laying off the codine for a bit

PwoperNaughtyButNot 10:24 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Don’t do the laxatives

Vaseline , gloves and dig it out until it is small enough to pass

You won’t like it

Davenport 8:53 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
10 cans of Guiness.

Mike Oxsaw 1:40 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Are we sure it was their new rocket engines NASA were testing over the weekend?

Coffee 12:32 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
He's gone heavy on the laxatives and prune juice. Don't expect an update for some days.

Oh dear 12:29 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Isn't it a little concerning that there has been no update from the OP.

lincslink 11:31 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Wheatgerm bread toasted for breakfast keeps me more regular than a West Ham striker signing.

Westham67 7:06 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
FIGS believe me they work. I got called out to a derailment during Ramadan in Malaysia about 5am . Going up to Kedah state which is all Malay Muslims . There was only dried figs to eat and was starving by midday and ate about half a pound of them. I had a lively evening thats for sure

Alfs 6:57 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Fuck me, isn't getting old worse than we ever imagined?

bruuuno 1:45 Tue Jan 19
Re: Constipation
Honestly, lactose is the one, take a high dose of it. It’s literally just sugar so harmless. Give it 20 mins you’ll feel a gurgling down below ..

Razzle 11:59 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
snap (literally and pun intended) same on my MTB along with a double fracture of the wrist. Was on the codeine phosphate and it got to the point that having a shit was needed more than managing the pain. Having your sphincter stretched because the cable wont lay was excruciating - got off the codeine and got that turd out.

Razzle 11:58 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
snap (literally and pun intended) same on my MTB along with a double fracture of the wrist. Was on the codeine phosphate and it got to the point that having a shit was needed more than managing the pain. Having your sphincter stretched because the cable wont lay was excruciating - got off the codeine and got that turd out.

SecondOpinion 10:07 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
Is he still alive?

Chigwell 6:51 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
I had the same thing after a hip replacement operation a few weeks ago - basically any opiate has a side effect of constipation. So if you think you'd rather take some of the pain, stop the codeine and take paracetamol instead. Senna is a very effective laxative in the meantime.

bruuuno 1:55 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
Or a Chinese

bruuuno 1:52 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
15ml lactulose

arsegrapes 1:45 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
Turbolax

https://youtu.be/kK-2E4MTc3Y

Tml (no hand shakes)

nychammer 1:40 Mon Jan 18
Re: Constipation
Are we moving yet?

(sorry im that bored)

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