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Dicko75 8:27 Sun Jul 4
What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Just after the match ended last night I fell down the stairs of my local boozer. Top to bottom. 2 cracked ribs, a black arse and dented pride but I’ll make it. What’s the worst accident you’ve had?

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

arsegrapes 2:42 Tue Jul 6
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Driving to work 40 mph road before seat belts, car coming in the opposite direction tried to turn right across my path but misjudged it, head on collision, was thrown forward but to the side slightly so didn't go through the windscreen but into the right-hand upright metal windscreen stanchion, both cars written off. Huge lump came up on my forehead ambulance shipped me off to A&E but nothing broken fortunately.

Dropped some heavy metal security grilles on my hand crushed and fractured my fingers.

zebthecat 12:29 Tue Jul 6
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
violator 7:21 Mon Jul 5

Did my scaphoid falling off a skateboard when I was a kid. Remember playing cricket at school while I still had the cast on.

zebthecat 12:26 Tue Jul 6
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Slipped over in the Cafe of Milton Keynes snowdome after a three hour session to see if I could still ski (I could). I did find out that I can't walk on a vinyl floor with wet ski boots.
Broken right arm, left hand and three borken ribs on my left side.
That combination hurt like hell for weeks - getting out of bed was an adventure.

BRANDED 12:08 Tue Jul 6
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
No really worst or bad but it made me laugh at the time in a painful way.I have these enormous echiums in my garden. The grow for around 18 months to about 3 meters in hight. Fantastic plants. However, when they are done they are just a big long woody stem. At the bottom and of my garden there were a few and one wouldnt come out so I got a spade and started pushing it over. It was on the edge of a steep decline and all of a sudden the spade slipped and me with it. Within a second I was falling head first down the slope straight into a patch of nettles. A second later I was face down with my feet up right behind me covered in nettles unable to move. I was going to call out but I felt so embarrassed for being so stupid. It took me a few minutes to manouver round by which time I was stung to death and aching like a cunt, and you know how they ache?

Yeah. Nothing really but I was laughing uncontrollably in my pain.

VirginiaHam 11:53 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??

Got hit in the chest by a cricket ball; wasn't an accident, and was travelling a bit.

VirginiaHam 11:47 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Took the dog for a walk in a large forest after two large mugs of coffee, 9amish.

I was gurgle free when I left the house, but suspected trouble was brewing.

Sure enough, as far from the car and the portashitters as I could possibly be I had to have a dump.

Arse over a log, having briefly searched (all I could risk) for some nice soft leaves.

63; arse still not behaving.

violator 7:21 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Broke my scaphoid bone in my hand on a jolly in Germany, didn't realise until I came home and went for an x-ray. Ended up having plaster up to my elbow for a poxy little bone. Still got the plaster cos I met The Charlatans at a gig and they all signed it.

smartypants 7:14 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Mike the hammer - I had that at 14 too, pain was horrific- put it down to wanking.

My worst was falling through a first floor window that was shut, in my sleep. Believe it or not I managed to push myself off the wall whilst falling head first to the ground and somersault onto my feet, to this day it makes me shudder, I can’t believe I didn’t break my neck, still needed 47 stitches though.

Block 6:23 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Went to lean in and have a chat with a bird on a WHO night out, ended up nutting her straight in the face.

letsalldotheBarthez 5:52 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Went out for meal and drinks with friends, grabbed mini bus home and being a gentleman helped some of the women off - only for last one (my best mates bird) to grab the sliding side door and roll and slam it shut straight onto my fingers which were on door pillar whilst i was chatting. Luckily the door kicked back and didnt fully close on them.

I went pale as a ghost, squeaked 'i'm alright' walked it off like a champ before vomitting due to pain in toilet whilst i ran them under tap. All swelled up like I had a bunch of banana's for a hand, although none broken.

Joe C 4:37 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Walking along talking to a mate, next thing I know I'm on the floor and he's asking "What are you doing down there?" Had tripped on a paving stone, gone arse over tit and both broke my collar bone and dislocated my shoulder. It's not easy to fix the latter when you have the former - and is very, very painful.

Or a bunch of us watching a mates band at The Bitter End in Romford, pissed up and having a dance about. On The Ball fell on me - my leg went one way and my ankle the other. People were coming over and asking if I was ok as it looked bad. I assured them I was fine and later walked home. The next morning I discovered I was absolutely not fine and had ripped all the ligaments in my ankle.

Curiously, that incident ultimately led to me getting married (not to OTB)

Mike the Hammer 4:19 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
A twisted testicle when I was 14. Worst pain I've ever had.
Caught my thumb in an air rifle when 13. Looked like a cartoon thumb when removed.
Dislocated my kneecap on a riverboat cruise with West Ham fans, after being caught bang on the kneecap by Chicken Ron in full costume.

TJD 3:40 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Have been very lucky indeed a fair few times, two proper could have killed me smashes on the bike and got nothing worse than a broken bone in my shoulder and some stitches. But turning around suddenly on a slope while fishing snapped my patellar tendon, that sure hurt and the knee cap up on my front thigh made me think I had dislocated my whole knee, this is the arse end of nowhere in France, bless the local volunteer fire brigade, 28 staples, four days in hospital and three months signed off work, mostly wincing and hobbling around. a very exciting scar and a very slightly iffy knee, well done the Frog surgeons, the English doctors here x rayed me all over again and were openly suprised that they had done a good job.

Maybe a mention for going over the handlebars and landing on both palms, taking all the skin off and dricing a lot of dirt and grit and gawd knows what else in deep. I was in my 20s then and out on it every night so there was no time for the doctor. a lot of savlon and some bandages and let it all grow out on it's own. Suspect i got lucky there, always have had the immune system of a buffalo/large rock hard animal.

Billy Blagg 10:42 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Nothing too horrendous compared to the litany of horror elsewhere on this page but I turned an ankle walking off a kerb into a pothole carrying a PC back 2000. Turned out I'd actually broken it. I'm self-employed and I was off work for over three months. I really struggled as my mortgage was high then and I sued the local council but the 'If there's blame there's a claim' company they had back then fucked up their legal and I only got £1k. One of those things that still rankles. Found out later if my company had sued them I'd have got over ten times that.

only1billybonds 10:33 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??

Yes mate it was bloody painful. But nothinng like the 5 injections into the flesh to numb it for stitching.

Which was nothing like tha pain of having my nut injected with anasthetic prior to removing a cyst.

Me n needles dont get on.

ray winstone 10:19 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Car accident in Greece, drove into a ditch at 5am, pissed, no seatbelt.
Lucky to only end up with broken nose and facial lacerations when I head-butted the windscreen.

Russ of the BML 10:13 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Worst one I can think of was as a young lad doing my window cleaning round I was doing the flats (3rd floor window) when my mate decided that going to his bag to get a ham roll was more interesting that putting his foot on the bottom rung. The ladder slipped on the damp slabs and all I can recall is a second or two of weightlessness and then a crunch. I lay there thinking the worst but I had only bruised my arse bone.

I also recall being at Folkstone beach as an 8 year old. Thought I was brave by trying to scale the rocks behind the beach beyond the concrete shelters (if you know the beach you will know). Got too high so climbed down but as it levelled out I started running down and couldn't stop. Fell straight down the opening of one particular shelter, fell ten foot onto the sand below with a bump. The family inhabiting that shelter for the day were shocked to see me drop in and ran to help. I'd sprained my ankle, now more. Although I was lucky as I landed about a foot from their BBQ which was in full flow with white hot coals cooking some bangers and burgers. So that could've been really nasty if I'd landed a foot to the left.

Most unusual accident was when I popped the tendon in the end of my finger causing what is called 'Hammer Finger'. I did it by simply tucking myself in. Finger got caught and I rolled the tendon, popping it. Weird feeling. Spent most of my Saturday in A&E with the nail part of my finger just dangling down. Very odd. Being told no golf for 6 months was rather fucking annoying.

Lato 9:58 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Mine seems quite tame to some. As a 16 year old apprentice in 1978 I got into a bit of horse play with a work mate, the usual stuff pushing and shoving each otherI had a piece of sheet metal in my right hand at the time. I then fell backwards on my arse and on the way down the sheet metal sliced through my left palm, claret everywhere, Nearly passed out whilst waiting for a lift to A & E. Ended up having 5 stitches. 42 years later the scar area still tingles when I touch it

Dan M 9:36 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Been pretty lucky as the worst accident I've ever had only amounted to a nipped tendon. A VW Polo emerged pulled out from a queue of stationary traffic on Essex Road, Islington into the empty opposite carriageway. However it wasn't completely empty as I was riding my motorbike past at that very moment. The car clipped me just enough to launch me over the handlebars and superman into the tarmac.
I was fit enough on landing to walk back and berate the driver, until I noticed she was fit and crying and ended up in the surreal position of giving her a hug to convince her everything was fine. An ambulance arrived, by which time I was sitting on the kerb having a smoke and after a few questions I found myself strapped to a stretcher with a suspected broken neck. Blue-lit to the Whittington and straight into X-Ray where it was confirmed that bone-wise I was absolutely fine. However when they said I could sit up I was momentarily completely paralysed!
Was wheeled back through the A&E waiting room, this time sitting on the gurney and I swore I heard a ripple of applause. I must have looked done-for on the way in.
Anyway, a partially torn shoulder tendon, cut on my chin (there's a scar under my beard) and smashed up bike (which years later I was reunited with when it appeared as a courtesy bike for an east London dealership). Also got five grand compo about eight months later.

GBHammer63 9:23 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Younger son, football training on Astro turf pitch due to the local pitch being waterlogged, was warming up doing the sprints thing for ten yards then slowing down etc…. Foot slipped while slowing and then re gripped, he went down in pain which was definitely not like him, team manager says come on Mike you lazy fucker, then concerned comes over to see him, says it’s cramp in his calf and does the stretchy bit, boy yelps again. Southend A&E, turns out it was a double staggered fracture like that Coventry player years ago but hadn’t given way.

His first game back after what seemed like a couple of months in plaster, he picks out the biggest in the opposite team for a 50/50 and going in as hard as possible, to test it out. Got up smiling at me, always been a little fucker, gets it from his mother.

No link.

Mad Dog 9:14 Mon Jul 5
Re: What’s the worst accident you’ve ever had??
Either the time I tore my Bicep tendon (Bicep itself pinged straight into my armpit)

or the time when I broke my acl, pcl and lateral corner knee ligaments in one go.

1 op needed on my arm, 6 on my knee.

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