"Welsh farmer taking his driving test. The examiner says ""Can you make a U-turn?""ù ""I can make her eyes water if I go in dry""ù I'll get me fleece."

"The army, the SAS and the police are on a team building exercise training day in a wood. The person in charge gathers them all around and says - ""for your first task i want you to go into the wood in your groups and bring back a rabbit"" The SAS go into the wood two minutes later they emerge with ...

"Fella buys a packet of mixed flavoured condoms.Rasberry,Banana,etc. He goes home and says to his wife ""Lets play a game.I'll put one on and you guess what flavour it is"". She goes under the blanket and says ""Cheese and onion"" he says ""For f*ck sake ,Woman,I haven't put one on yet!"""

"I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business & this fat ugly bird came up behind me, grabbed my arse and said, ""You're kind of cute ,Have you got a phone number?"" I said, ""Yes, have you got a pen?"" She said ""Yes, I've got a pen."" I said, ""You better get back in it before the ...

"Q. What's the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex? A.With erotic sex ,you use a feather,with kinky sex,you use the whole chicken Kenny Everett circa 1978"

"Paddy and Mick are talking about scuba diving.""Do you know why divers fall out of the boat backwards?"" Mick says ""If they fell forwards,they still be in the boat"""

"So it's a really hot humid day and a bloke's Farmers are playing up..really itchy and irritating. He rings the NHS helpline and they tell him to get some cold wet used teabags,put them in the fridge before cramming them up his crack and then see the doctor first thing in the morning. They do soothe...

"This bloke lives in Watford and has never had a girlfriend because of his really smelly feet. They're really bad with the smell of his bare feet peeling wallpaper off of walls""¶that bad. He eventually meets a girl from Brighton ,on-line, who has never had a boyfriend because of her really really b...

"Paddy is doing a crossword. He says to Murphy ""I'm stuck on 2 down""¶Flightless bird from Iceland,(6,7)""ù Murphy thinks for a moment ""Dat's easy - Frozen Chicken""ù"