GANK

He was just 'pushing on' to see what she would say...

It's called the 'presumptive challenge'... 

PS ...but thanks for being a pedantic arsehole
 

Bloke is on his death bed, and he asks his wife "I have to know before I die - have you ever cheated on me?" "Erm, well yes" she says, but there were good reasons why I did it. "Tell me", he said. ​​​​"Well, that time we needed the new home loan and nobody was list...

A priest is driving home and he spots a dead pig in the road. He stops to call the police to let them know. A cocky sergeant takes the call. "Have you read the pig it's last rites yet?" he smirks. "No", says the priest, "I thought I would inform his next of kin first..."...

2-1 Bowen blinder. Far too good for us, can we keep him? 

Ben Johnson sat there looking very pensive... doubt this is what he had in mind when he made the move. 

Lots of pretty football but we're not punishing them.
 

Howler of a non-challenge by Todibo there could've cost us dear...

 

I doubt Potter wants to trim the squad. He is saying that he 'wants' what the Poison Dwarf has told him he must have...

Deja vu, fellas... 
 

No streams working then. SportHD is permanent ads, no link to the game. 

I'm off outside to do some gardening.

Never thought I'd see the day...

Adios! 

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

A goldfish mucks about in fountains...
 

In college, our biology teacher had a locked box where we could submit questions that he would read to the class without embarrassing anyone. Someone submitted a question about “what is sperm made of?” and he answered saying it’s primarily made of protein and sugars. Without thinking, a girl at the ...

Bloke goes into the police station... "I want to report an incident - this morning, as I was walking my dog along by the railway, I rescued a woman off the tracks!" Constable behind the desk says, "Wow, that's very public spirited of you." "Yes" says fella grins and win...

Kinell... we held out for THREE MINUTES before giving them the lead back...

I wonder who VVD will maim with his thuggery today..? 

 

Blimey! Looks like they are playing five a side at Palace... 
 

Fkg ref was barely three yards behind that - it was clearly the player just falling into JWP, not even a foul never mind a card... and then of course they score from the free kick. Kinell... 

We keep giving the ball back to them!  Fkg frustrating...

How many times do we get a decent break going and then just give the ball away, upfield, when we're all commited, and we have to scramble back like fk

It's 3 points, however you view the performance. We have to just keep picking up points while the squad and format is in flux. We were expected to beat Leicester, and most of us on here have long experience of what often happens when we 'expect' West Ham to do something... so it's a reason to be che...

Not sure why Kudus was looking for the pass to Ferguson on that last break... Raya was way out on the D, any half decent punt over his head would've found the net. Didn't need the pass - we can't get Mo to pass half the time yet today, when it didn't need it, he bloody well passes!  Scarles looking ...

Jesus wept... how many times do we ship goals in those five or ten minutes either side of half time... 

Old dads with young kids -  Similar to you, I have 38 and 36 year olds from first marriage, and a 12 year old from this second marriage. I am just a tad older than you. The 12 year old loves to hear about how we lived in times gone by... she wonders how we survived with no mobile comms. I must confe...

People often undo the seat belt AFTER the event - he maybe thought (as you do in the immediate aftermath, before you realise shit has happened) that he would just climb out of the car. He would not be 'thrown clear' either way - the impact was driver's side, so all the force of the event would've he...

You would absolutely have to play out of your skin to get anything from that, especially with all their diving and cheating. Add Taylor into the mix as ref, and you don't have a snowball's chance in Hell... 

Nothing changes... Arsenal are quite prepared to dive, lie and cheat to get the result. We can all see that was never a penalty, Taylor has just reacted to the Arsenal whinging... He can't fkg WAIT to give them any advantage... can't have us staging a comeback, after all. Thank fk I'm not ST now - g...

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Taylor strutting around orchestrating their victory for them...