"Bloke escapes from a psychiatric hospital, goes into a launderette and rapes all the women in there and is still on the run. Headline in the paper ""nut, screws washers and bolts""."

"A German lorry driver in a pub in Newcastle is gobbing off how lazy British truck drivers are. He's bragging that he drives his load from Hamburg, goes through Holland, Belgium up to Newcastle and back to Hamburg in just two days. This old Geordie man mutters up, ""Ah way ay I used to pick up me lo...