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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Oct 2023, 18:52
by Mike Oxsaw
"When watching the football last night, Saw most of our players were shite Sunday, an improvement, With more fluid movement? I doubt it, we're fucked. No respite. An octopus known as Doris, Went out with a squid we'll call Boris."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Oct 2023, 15:13
by arsene york-hunt
"When asked how she liked her eggs in the morning. The lady just stood there yawning, What she'd like most, Just one piece of toast, And to her diet conforming. When watching the football last night, Saw most of our players were shite"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 22:07
by Nobody
New Nobody Limerick Thread... New Limerick Thread for Nobody... Nobody knew of the New Limerick Thread... Nobody heard of the New Limerick Thread... New Limerick that Nobody understood that was a Thread...
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 18:05
by Darlo Debs
"In my head is a very good tune, A track on Dark Side of the Moon If you don't like Pink Floyd It's one to avoid I prefer to listen to ol blue eyes croon When asked how she liked her eggs in the morning. The lady just stood there yawning"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 17:55
by Mike Oxsaw
"A lady in in Saudi Arabia Was charged with exposing her labia But what was so sad, Is the camels got mad But the goats, they got even crabbier. In my head is a very good tune, A track on Dark Side of the Moon."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 16:06
by arsene york-hunt
"A girl that was a good Craic Partied too hard and it got her the sack An alcohol binge, Ended flashing her minge. And also her hole at the back. A lady in in Saudi Arabia Was charged with exposing her labia"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 09:46
by Darlo Debs
"He wondered why there was a fuss, When wanking himself on the bus Had he done something wrong When striking his schlong Yet all the passengers started to cuss A girl that was a good Craic Partied too hard and it got her the sack"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Oct 2023, 03:21
by arsene york-hunt
"The fit bird was out on a date, Took with her a pig-ugly mate. The poor bloke she was for, Swiftly ran through the door When she started licking her plate. He wondered why there was a fuss, When wanking himself on the bus."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Oct 2023, 19:05
by Mike Oxsaw
"An old Irishman called Kelly, Shit himself watching the telly, Now. Everyone knows Outside Rumbelows Is not where you empty your belly. The fit bird was out on a date, Took with her a pig-ugly mate."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Oct 2023, 15:18
by arsene york-hunt
"The young girl, while doing the splits, Was ogled by lots of old gits. By the school playground, They had gathered round, For the netball, the dirty shits. An old Irishman called Kelly, Shit himself watching the telly,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Oct 2023, 13:32
by Mike Oxsaw
"Today it was men playing boys We need to get rid of Moyes. And Sullivan, too, But what can we do? They're just very rich diddy-coys. The young girl, while doing the splits, Was ogled by lots of old gits."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Oct 2023, 13:32
by Mike Oxsaw
"Today it was men playing boys We need to get rid of Moyes. And Sullivan, too, But what can we do? They're just very rich diddy-coys. The young girl, while doing the splits, Was ogled by lots of old gits."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Oct 2023, 04:22
by Helmut Shown
"A cockney man from Bethnal Green, On the net bought a wanking machine But the wrong transformer Meant the machine got warmer Blew a fuse and ruptured his spleen Today it was men playing boys We need to get rid of Moyes"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Oct 2023, 00:25
by arsene york-hunt
"A farmer on Salisbury Plain Tried to grow apples again. After only a season, Gave up, the reason, He said ""Too much of a pain."" A cockney man from Bethnal Green, On the net bought a wanking machine"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Oct 2023, 16:09
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young man from near Fleet, Found a dead prostitute in the street. He couldn't resist A quick one off the wrist And drizzled his load on her feet. A farmer on Salisbury Plain Tried to grow apples again."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Oct 2023, 21:56
by arsene york-hunt
"There was a Scots rower from Pollock Had only one oar in the rowlock And so he found, He went round and round 'Til he sank in the Lea near Bow Lock. There was a young man from near Fleet, Found a dead prostitute in the street"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Oct 2023, 21:20
by Helmut Shown
"There once was a young bloke named Hunt, On the river he went on a punt Went too near a weir With consequence severe Most thought it a stupid stunt There was a Scots rower from Pollock Had only one oar in the rowlock"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Oct 2023, 18:08
by arsene york-hunt
"A confused transgender called Fox, Asked to be chopped at the doc's., Was told by a dentist, Where he'd gone as too pissed ""Sorry mate, we don't cut off cocks."" There once was a young bloke named Hunt, On the river he went on a punt"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Oct 2023, 20:13
by northbanker
"They'e really some strange looking freaks Like the ""experts"" on TV antiques, It's all diversity On TV you must see, The disabled, poofs, lezzies and Sikhs. A confused transgender called Fox, Asked to be chopped at the Doc's"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Oct 2023, 19:21
by Helmut Shown
"The groupie went down on the roadie, She'd learnt how to do it on Kodi. As practised by toffs And assorted Romanovs Like when Diana sucked off Dodi They'e really some strange looking freaks Like the ""experts"" on TV antiques"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Oct 2023, 16:01
by Mike Oxsaw
"While pushing his wife's shopping cart He paused by the deli to fart. It smelt, it is said, Like freshly baked bread Or maybe a soggy jam tart. The groupie went down on the roadie, She'd learnt how to do it on Kodi."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Oct 2023, 15:55
by Helmut Shown
Before sex a young lady called Kate Required a doc's certificate Before leaving the blocks You can't have the pox Before she'd consider you as a mate While pushing his wife's shopping cart He paused by the deli to fart
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Oct 2023, 15:35
by arsene york-hunt
"Some posters won't say that they're wrong Keep singing their favourite song, Threads on all to-pics Hijacked by pricks With vendettas they like to prolong. Before sex a young lady called Kate Required a doc's certificate"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Oct 2023, 07:44
by Mike Oxsaw
"The bloke he wanted to marry, Used Stork as a lube on his Gary An absolute nutter, He should have used butter To make it feel less ordinary Some posters won't say that they're wrong Keep singing their favourite song"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 18 Oct 2023, 15:23
by arsene york-hunt
"He had glasses like Mr Magoo Went into the wrong bog to poo, Ladies started to shout, He was hounded out. His shit oozed out down to his shoe. The bloke he wanted to marry, Used Stork as a lube on his Gary"