West Ham Online

Usual rules apply

Old one: What do you need to circumcise a whale? .....Sharp knives and four skin divers.

"My wife keeps getting sent flowers but the stems never have any flower heads on ,this kept on so she rang the police but they just said she was being stalked!"

"Anne Summers outlets are selling a new alcoholic vagina gel that women can rub on their flaps! So now when the guy goes down he can have a bevvy as well! However, anti-drink campaigner's want it banned amid fears of 24 hr minge drinking."

"Some dyslectic racist wrote ""ògo home cone' on my neighbours front door."

"Aalborg Hammer 8:50 Thu Jun 13 HAHAHA, took me a couple of seconds before I got it. There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who dont and only half will understand the joke."

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's OK now.

"Two Chinese boys break into a distillery ,one boy says to the other: ""Is this whisky?""ù Other boy replies: ""Aye but no as whisky as wobbin a bank""ù"

"Phone rings, woman answers. The pervert, with heavy breathing, says ""Have you got a tight unshaven c*nt ?"" Woman replies ""Yes, he's watching television - who shall I say is calling?"""

"I was looking at my wife, no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart. ""you are a mess and I'm disgusted with you."" I said ""I'm still the woman you love and married,"" she said ""sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit."" ""We're on our fucking honeymoon"" I replied."

haha

"Yesterday was a bit of a strange day! First, I found a hat full of money and then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar."

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mother

"Doctor told my wife ""You've got acute angina."" She said ""Oh... thank you very much."""

#NAME?

What do you call a judge with no balls?? Justice Cock

"I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing. One guy pushed the other and said, ""Four, nine."" The other man pushed him back and said, ""Sixteen, twenty-five."" A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, ""I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."""

The Cher Noble one reminded me of it...sorry !

I must admit I found it raised a giggle.

"collyrob 7:29 Tue May 28 It's literally like he has made it up himself, and why would she be pleased that Castle is her Dad anyway. Most of the 'jokes' on here are shocking, but carry on, there is the odd good one."

Bungo 11:52 Tue May 28 That's how I heard the joke but couldn't remember the name.

Aalborg Hammer 12:40 Tue May 28 Re: THE joke threads (part 5) Genuinely one of the worst jokes I've ever ever heard.

"They've just found out that Beyonces' birth father is the veteran entertainer,Roy Castle.The stars' agent said that she was 'glad to have discovered this but won't be using his surname' in future"

arsene york-hunt 9:34 Fri May 24 Also worked well as 'a woman with two twats'. N-Dubz Let's hope for a reunion so we can haul that one out again!

Cher is married to West Ham footballer Mark Noble and that's why she just uses her first name.

Haha