West Ham Online

There won't have been too many matches this season where we go in as relatively strong favourites with this bookies, but the game this weekend is one.

Big Ange and his mates come to town, in a game that is most notable (as a footballing spectacle) for being between two teams that can lay claim to having had the most disappointing seasons across all of European football.

Few would have predicted either would be languishing where they are before a ball was kicked, but we go into this game as the 'worst of the rest' with the relegation places sewn up (thank fuck) and all that's left to play for the worst kind of bragging rights.

Let's hope at the end of this one we can be claiming whilst we might be shit, we're not as shit as the Lilleywhites from North London.

Team I'd like to see:

I'd have Kilman out for this one. He's made some high profile cock ups in recent weeks, and Mavropanos is deserving of the start. JWP has been an ever present non-entity so I'd have the fight brought by Alvarez back for this one in a game where we're likely to be on the counter, with Paqueta looking his best in games when he's dropped back to make the play.  Soucek remains our second most likely goal threat so has to play, and the forward line looks so much more functional with the big German in.

It feels an easy team to pick, with the only real conundrum Scarles or Emerson...but I'd bring the home grown talent in for this one...quite simply it will mean more to him.

Prediction: 1-1

Feels like this will be a game with added meaning this season purely for the lack of other interest. Spurs of course are still fighting in Europe, but whilst their fans claim it's our cup final not theirs, they always seem pretty bothered when we fuck them over.

But continuing the theme of an unsatisfactory season, I'm going for an unsatisfactory result that helps no one, leaves ol' Cock Piss firmly mired in the critics sights, and sees us continue to limp towards the 24/25 finish line. 

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Match Centre:


Odds:
West Ham: 6/5
Draw: 13/5
Spurs: 2/1

Pre-Match Press Conference:
Official Press Conference

Tactical Preview: 
Babbling Irons

Watch-along:
Hammers Chat

Streams:

SportHD 

(With all live streams be mindful they can carry viruses etc.  Don't click on any ads and use a VPN).
  

I predict a lot of empty seats if we are trailing at half-time. Two teams equally as bad as each other. Difficult to predict. Expecting a scrappy match and that benefit players like Fulkrug. It will really top our season off we can't finish above them this year considering how bad they are. Probably the last game I will attend this year. Hope things change drastically after the summer.

twoleftfeet wrote: ↑30 Apr 2025, 09:44

THUNDERCLINT wrote: ↑30 Apr 2025, 07:27 If ever there was a time to stand up and be counted...

Problem is; crab ball is shite, Potter's a cսnt who has probably spent all week doing a load of new age cuntery with crystals, kale enemas and mantra chanting mutual masturbation workshops.

We're as weak as cold piss, have the backbone of a jellyfish, the killer instinct of Pee Wee Herman and close out deals like Nick Leeson.

While the Succulent Chinese meal fella has been growling at players who all want to try out for a start in a European final.

0-3+ and a Burnley redux. Potter's later found walking Green Street naked with pants on his head, pencils up his nose  and covered in his own effluence.



 

 

Predicting a Spurs win, imagine my shock

THUNDERCLINT wrote: ↑30 Apr 2025, 07:27 If ever there was a time to stand up and be counted...

Problem is; crab ball is shite, Potter's a cսnt who has probably spent all week doing a load of new age cuntery with crystals, kale enemas and mantra chanting mutual masturbation workshops.

We're as weak as cold piss, have the backbone of a jellyfish, the killer instinct of Pee Wee Herman and close out deals like Nick Leeson.

While the Succulent Chinese meal fella has been growling at players who all want to try out for a start in a European final.

0-3+ and a Burnley redux. Potter's later found walking Green Street naked with pants on his head, pencils up his nose  and covered in his own effluence.

 

Predicting a Spurs win, imagine my shock

I have seen a lot of Spurs this season and of course like us all suffered West Ham.

These are 2 very poor sides and I would seriously consider if anyone is that bothered. Spurs will have other things on their mind and that may just swing it in our favour.

I am going 1-0 to West Ham or a bore draw.




 

They will rest a lot of their first 11 but still have to much pace and power for our statuesque mob.  We will try to keep possession, slow build up and not be able to create anything. They will wait, sit deep and dispossess Paqueta, Bowen, Kudus for a quick turnover or simply bypass JWP, Soucek in central midfield to score.  

0-1

Apart from maybe Bowen I don't think we've got a player who gives a shit whether we beat that mob or not.

If ever there was a time to stand up and be counted...

Problem is; crab ball is shite, Potter's a cսnt who has probably spent all week doing a load of new age cuntery with crystals, kale enemas and mantra chanting mutual masturbation workshops.

We're as weak as cold piss, have the backbone of a jellyfish, the killer instinct of Pee Wee Herman and close out deals like Nick Leeson.

While the Succulent Chinese meal fella has been growling at players who all want to try out for a start in a European final.

0-3+ and a Burnley redux. Potter's later found walking Green Street naked with pants on his head, pencils up his nose  and covered in his own effluence.
 

0-0  and both teams booed off or 3-3 with some truly awful defending on display 

                         Areola 

    Awb  Todibo  Kilman  Emerson 

         Soler  Alvarez Paqueta 

         Kudus  Fullkrug  Bowen 

I think the worst approach to your club is not caring what happens, and it's got to this stage with this manager. I honestly couldn't give a shit. The midget has succeeded yet again in killing any hope those of us with a working brain had in the future

Cock Piss v Brent
the bullshitters derby

Watched that plum on youtube last night and he went with this. I quite like it but Soucek is undroppable i think.

Areola
Wan Bissaka Mavropanos Todibo Emerson
Soler Alvarez Paqueta
Bowen Fullkrug Kudus

​​​​​​as usual m predicting a win. Irons
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Who knows what will happen. Will we get a response after Saturday, or sink further into the mire? Will Spurs be writing this off what with Europe in mind, or will they want to rub our noses in it and perform for their fans? Is a weak Spurs side still capable of beating us? What will the atmosphere be like - will our fans be up for this??

Will be an interesting day to see what unfolds. With my crystal ball out I'll go for a 1-1 or us to nick it 2-1. 

Battle of the dog shit Lets see which club can floats to the surface, and which manager is the worst in the league, Big Ange or the PE teacher?

Being Spurs i hope we stuff them, but im not sure i would be betting on it, Draw in my book with some comical football on show!