West Ham Online

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

How long have you been watching Cricket for, Southbank?

A serious point in all of this is I’m hearing (through a good mate, who is a cricket correspondent) that the media have been chatting to a lot of England fans who’ve said they won’t tour with England again. The combination of rising costs, and this team’s couldn’t-give-a-shit attitude, has left many thinking they can’t be bothered if the team can’t be bothered.

That’s what I don’t think McCullum, Key, Stokes and some of these players just don’t get: thousands of fans have spent vast sums following them and expect to see them at least fight as a bare minimum. Picking kids who’ve barely played multi-day cricket is NOT putting up a fight. Of any sort.

But this Cult of Cunts don’t give a shit. So why should fans bother to buy tickets that pay their wages back in England?

It’s not that England fans expect to win down under. But you pick, and prepare, a team to compete. And fight. And this Cult has not.

I’d like to see Key, McCullum and Stokes answer that while they’re still out there.

Far Cough UKunt" wrote: ↑26 Dec 2025, 08:02 Stokes has the temerity to ask for "empathy" for the players. Really Stokes? I mean fucking really?

They deserve all the cuntings coming their way.

Fauxstralian wrote: ↑26 Dec 2025, 08:17 Was hearing the TMS team talking about Bethell
Played 4 First class games last season & has never scored a century 
Sent out at 3 at the MCG to face Mitchell Starc in front of 94,000
As they pointed out with Pope ditched everyone should have moved up one & Bethell batted at 6

As mentioned before Stokes has won 3 of the 4 tosses and again Australia are without Cummins , Hazlewood & Lyon and England can’t last 30 overs

Was hearing the TMS team talking about Bethell
Played 4 First class games last season & has never scored a century 
Sent out at 3 at the MCG to face Mitchell Starc in front of 94,000
As they pointed out with Pope ditched everyone should have moved up one & Bethell batted at 6

As mentioned before Stokes has won 3 of the 4 tosses and again Australia are without Cummins , Hazlewood & Lyon and England can’t last 30 overs

Stokes has the temerity to ask for "empathy" for the players. Really Stokes? I mean fucking really?

They deserve all the cuntings coming their way.

Btw, that top three for England today was as bad as I’ve ever seen from a test team.

This utterly stupid obsession with picking people who fit the Baaaaaaazball profile means you’ve got three numpties at the top end - one of whom has barely seen a red ball in his life.

The ECB should intervene and sack McCullum and Key at this point. Just to make a point. Let them play the 5th test without a coach and team director. They genuinely could not get worse.

Easily the worst England touring side in my lifetime. Not just the Ashes, either. Any touring side. From any country.

Truly, utterly abysmal. Devoid of talent, pride and backbone - and they genuinely couldn’t care less.

They’re also just really dislikable. With a couple of notable exceptions, I really wouldn’t care if none of them ever came home.

We were discussing whether it would be worth keeping Stokes on as captain once Baaaz goes. I think we’ve seen the answer is “no”. He has done almost as much to create the arrogant, lazy, excuse-laden, couldn’t-give-a-shit, cotton wool culture around this group.

I genuinely prefer the Aussie players as people. Which really is saying something.

 

If Australia do have to bat for 10 or 15 mins tonight I’d send out Khawaja & a nightwatchman 
Save Sir Travis for tomorrow 

Actually made it past 100

Australia need to drag these last two wickets out til 6.50am so they don’t have to bat again today
Danger of batsmen being out twice on one day otherwise !
23 & sunny tomorrow… much nicer

83-8 Stokes

All the 7s 77-7 Jacks 20.2 overs 

Smith gone 69-6.18.2 overs, they are fucking brainless 4th test in Australia and still have not learned how to play test cricket

Believe weather in the build up has in poor (Melbourne… who knew?) so the pitch hasn’t dried out
Smith described the grass cover as ‘furry’ the day before but then the groundsman has left 10mm of grass on it
The inevitable result ensues
Presume the ground staff have somewhere they want to be on Sunday. Perth maybe?

Smith ( the other one) out to the King of Melbourne 
68/6

66-5 Brooks 16.2 overs

Root gone 

Brook running down the pitch to Starc

Crawley is gone 9 for 3

Bethell gone

Duckett gone 7-1 fucking clowns

Crawley is driving and missing FFS

Chance from Duckett not learning 

Can we bat with restraint this time?

BerlingtonBertie wrote: ↑26 Dec 2025, 01:00 Fraser was the Oz version of David Blunkett. So not sure had bottle top glasses in his Steven Hawkings ride on can make judgement on cities. Probably people kept away from him as so AIDS and thats why he was deported back to Blighty