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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 11 Jul 2023, 12:08
by Helmut Shown
A man rushing to defaecate Got his trousers off just too late In the crotch of his trews Two very large poos A couple of pounds I’d estimate When other teams begin to prepare Non league friendlies? I despair
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2023, 20:13
by arsene york-hunt
"If you're a nonce and a toff Don't worry your friends get you off, The upper crust turd Won't do any bird, Enough to make proles want to scoff. A man rushing to defaecate Got his trousers off just too late"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2023, 18:39
by Helmut Shown
"One of the gay BBC pricks Paid a bender for some dirty pics Over thirty thousand quid Paid to a kid For that, most would show him their dicks If you're a nonce and a toff Don't worry your friends get you off"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2023, 16:32
by arsene york-hunt
"A couple of lines from the stack, To help keep this thread on it's track, It would be my goal, To write something drole But alas I don't have the knack. One of the gay BBC pricks Paid a bender for some dirty pics"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2023, 07:11
by Mike Oxsaw
A couple of lines from the stack To help keep this thread on it's track
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 10 Jul 2023, 00:14
by arsene york-hunt
And there was me thinking that nobody ever reads this thread.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2023, 23:13
by Hammer and Pickle
It's high time someone took a sickle To that narcissist Hammer and Pickle. He makes me feel fat I hate him He's such a cool cat. What's a matter you? Gotta no respect?
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2023, 23:06
by arsene york-hunt
"The BBC: so, yet one more jerk Been booted out of the woodwork, it's a very strange thing, But it's like the nonce wing, For paedos a rather nice perk. It's high time someone took a sickle To that narcissist Hammer and Pickle."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2023, 19:35
by Mike Oxsaw
"When thinking about a prize cսnt Steve Smith is at the forefront. But let us be clear There's far more on here, ALL gagging to join a witch hunt. The BBC: so, yet one more jerk Been booted out of the woodwork"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2023, 19:17
by Helmut Shown
"There's a bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive Contracted from wrinkles Normally on winkles But if you talk like a cսnt it'll thrive When thinking about a prize cսnt Steve Smith is at the forefront"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 09 Jul 2023, 14:21
by arsene york-hunt
"There's a bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 08 Jul 2023, 16:44
by arsene york-hunt
"After how badly we fared We enter a season unprepared The usual scenes, With stiffs and has-beens You'd hardly say ""No expense spared."" There bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 07 Jul 2023, 22:03
by Helmut Shown
"It's turning to one of life's farces, Dec has not gone yet to les Arses That Arteta creep Wants Dec on the cheap As a means of failure catharsis After how badly we fared We enter a season unprepared"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jul 2023, 17:24
by arsene york-hunt
"Looks like we’re taking a beating Because of Australian cheating, But one has to say They're better on the day, We don't want to sound like we're bleating. It's turning to one of life's farces, Dec has not gone yet to les Arses"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jul 2023, 16:31
by Helmut Shown
"A baseball cap worn back to front, To most of us is an affront. An act of crudeness To encourage rudeness I see what you did there you cսnt Looks like we‚Äôre taking a beating Because of Australian cheating"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jul 2023, 20:20
by arsene york-hunt
"Now Israel has got it's own war, The BBC keeping the score. Their reporter, called Steve, Was caught in Tel Aviv With a two hundred shekel whore. A baseball cap worn back to front, To most of us is an affront."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jul 2023, 19:44
by Mike Oxsaw
"When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors Her brother would, though, If I gave him some dough, And with that he got on ""all fours"". Now Israel has got it's own war, The BBC keeping the score."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jul 2023, 16:37
by arsene york-hunt
"The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth, From licking out crumpet, To playing the trumpet, Was once filmed by Jonathan Routh. When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jul 2023, 16:37
by arsene york-hunt
"The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth, From licking out crumpet, To playing the trumpet, Was once filmed by Jonathan Routh. When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 03 Jul 2023, 15:41
by Mike Oxsaw
"The sudden pain and the sound of a rip Yes, you’ve caught your cock in your zip. Now. That's why the wise Have button-up flies. They're also sartorially hip. The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 03 Jul 2023, 15:02
by Helmut Shown
"A lesbian woman called Brenda Liked licking young ladies pudenda It wasn’t the view But the bad smell of poo But even that didn’t offend her The sudden pain and the sound of a rip Yes, you’ve caught your cock in your zip"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 03 Jul 2023, 14:43
by arsene york-hunt
"A housewife from East Aberdeen Liked to sit on her washing machine, The fast spin vibration, A pleasant sensation, While her dirty knickers got clean. A lesbian woman called Brenda Liked licking young ladies pudenda"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 03 Jul 2023, 14:07
by Helmut Shown
"There was a man from Peterhead, Liked onanism when in bed His sheets were all spattered One day the sheets shattered Should have washed them it’s got to be said A housewife from East Aberdeen Liked to sit on her washing machine"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 02 Jul 2023, 17:23
by arsene york-hunt
"So. What do we do with the French? Should we send in the crew from The Bench? As a race they are sick, The eat snails with garlic, From their breath comes a nauseous stench. There was a man from Peterhead, Liked onanism when in bed"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 02 Jul 2023, 15:44
by Mike Oxsaw
It is said that William Rees-Mogg Is a nasty right wing demagogue. But he voted remain So hard to explain Unless you're a bigoted knob. So. What do we do with the French? Should we send in the crew from The Bench?