West Ham Online

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

"Pickle That’s awful, I’m so sorry to hear that. But hopefully the sessions will be good for you"

"I'm starting counselling next Monday as I've been struggling over the past 4 weeks, it's more bereavement counselling to deal with issues I didn't when my Dad died in front of me when I was 13. My trigger has been turning the same age he was when he died."

Good post Sniper . The first sentence made me smile too!

"The advice and support on here really is amazing - not bad for a load of people who spend most of their time just calling each other cunts! I’ve put a few things on here before to try to help. I’ve had, and still have, a horrid time with depression. At times it feels overwhelming, unbearable and unending. And the frustrating thing as well is that I feel like you only get one strike with it - if you tell someone you’re suicidal or things are too much, in fairness you get sympathy and support. That doesn’t happen half as much the second time round But, regardless, the point I wanted to make was this. I once read an article about a study into flu like viruses that showed that, in the days where you are most contagious before all the symptoms comes out, something in it he pathogens makes you want to be more sociable. It makes you want to come into contact with more people. So it can spread. It makes you want to do the one thing you shouldn’t in order to stamp it out. Mental illness is the same. It may not be caused by a pathogen or a virus, but somehow it acts in the same way. It makes you feel useless, worthless and undeserving. It makes you feel thy at others shouldn’t talk to you or be around you. I make this distinction a lot - I didn’t want to see people, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be around them; it was because I didn’t want them to have to be around me. Depression makes you feel like you should isolate yourself away. And that way it breeds even more. It makes you feel that you shouldn’t talk. And that way you do t deal with it. And it makes you feel that you deserve to feel that way - so you don’t look for help. It’s no different an illness to other more tangible and well understood ones, but people’s ignorance leads to fear and stigma and that too stops people reaching out. It’s natural to not feel like talking or wanting help - and that’s what the illness wants. And, being brutally honest, not every person you speak to is helpful or understanding or sincere or supportive. In the same way that some people dont know how to cope or what to say if someone they know tells them they’ve got cancer or they’ve had a miscarriage or loses a limb, some people can’t with mental illness. But most people can. Most people try. And almost all people want to help. And just reaching out and seeing that can be enough to start pulling you in the right direction. So thank you to everyone on this thread for offering support. And (and I apologise as there’s no way to say this without it sounding immensely patronising) well done to all those who’ve reached out. I say that with all sincerity. It’s not easy, but it does get less hard the more you do it."

lab 5:41 Wed Nov 11

"peachy75 2:47 Sun Nov 8 ""Never stop taking your meds( not a single pill should be missed) just missing one can start the downfall."" Just to add to that, when it is the right time to come off the meds, make sure you do it as per clinical instructions. That is, very slowly with a slow tapering down of the dose, taking pills alternate days etc. It's dull and very slow (weeks or even months), but you will be glad you did longer term."

Good post Peachy .

"Been dealing with this for 20 years with my mother . Very hard and people just dont understand ! Does not matter if you are rich or poor when you have it you have it and its extremely hard to come out off. So i will give you some tips that i know help. Drink and drugs are depressants avoid at all costs. Never stop taking your meds( not a single pill should be missed) just missing one can start the downfall . Make sure you go to sleep in your bed (not sofa or anywhere else) No matter how down you feel make the effort to get up brush teeth, wash hair , eat , etc etc Exercise is key -get out in the open and go for walks or runs anything that gets the blood pumping. Talk to people - never be afraid of your feelings and let your friends and family know how you are. Take a good quality CBD - this is amazing for anxiety and because its natural can be taken with any prescribed med. The one i and my mum take is called botanical 113 just look them up. You have to learn to live with it as once you have it then unfortunately it is always there lurking in the background but thats not to say you cant tame that beast and try to keep it caged as much as possible. I also think that a tidy house helps with a tidy mind try to make sure that you are in a clean and clutter free enviroment. Eat healthy When you ARE better as you will get through it thats when you need to keep everything in check as keeping up the exercise- eating well- clean house etc etc will keep you on the straight and narrow . Hope this is off help to you and you can private message me if you have any questions and i would be more than happy to help. Good luck in your quest of happiness"

"Grasshopper/lab Life does turn ,something may happen in life Where there’s no happy ending Have had the black dog around Try to keep busy if possible Good luck"

grasshopper - whomail

This dark start to winter did not do me any favours last year but I am more getting accustomed to it now 2nd full winter since 2002/3

Grasshopper sorry you are feeling that way. I am.sure the steps mentioned will.help but also.yrge you tomtry talking therapy . We have this service here; https://www.talkingchanges.org.uk/ But am sure if you visit your gp you'll be signposted tona similar service near you.

Dicko75 5:22 Sat Oct 24 Re: Anxiety/depression Good post. I have been walking much more lately and really pushing myself. I feel great after a brisk walk workout in the morning. I have also started to eat more healthily and have switched to things like fresh soup for lunch and more rice for dinner. It really does make an impact.

"Dicko75,walking is massive, and the main thing talk dont bottle it up inside.people who keep quiet suffer more.dont worry what other people think,its your life"

Cock stretch classes incoming.. Sundays.. 05.00

"Dicko - And sex too, don't forget to give that up too, to complete the set."

"No, but I think how you choose to live your life has an enormous impact on mental health. Too many people I see who struggle don’t take enough control of the simple things they can do to influence how they feel. Get fresh air and daily exercise...even if you’ve not worked out in years, start with a walk and increase gradually. Exercise is a crucial factor in good mental health in my opinion. Get rid of mobile phones, particularly smart phones. Cut down on alcohol or preferably out altogether. Eat clean. Make time each day to do something you enjoy (which isn’t drinking, eating shit or scrolling on your iPhone!). Live in the moment and really focus thoughts on what you are doing at that moment in time rather than dwelling on the shit things that everyone - and I mean everyone - goes through at certain points in time. Don’t be too harsh on yourself when you have a bad day. Even the most optimistic of people have bad days. Good luck."

Any of you lot ever had a nervous breakdown? Looking for tips to establish some perspective at the moment. Largely feeling negative about most things.

arsegrapes 10.18 All makes sense and very sensible.. But I'd rather barbecue my own üêì

arsegrapes 10.18 All makes sense and very sensible.. But I'd rather barbecue my own üêì

If you are alone in this life.. Speak up..

Thankyou for the replies everyone .

lab. I stopped drinking over 3 years ago and people who know me on here know I used to drink to see how much I could drink and soak it up. Go day by day and you will realise you don't need it to enjoy yourself or feel better it's quite the opposite you feel better and fresher when you do not drink

"lab 8:33 Sat Oct 17 Simon S has it. You could try buying only 0% Alcohol beer/lager indoors or drinking whilst out. It's not the same of course, but nearest in taste. It's the alcohol that's addictive like nicotine for smokers so a substitute may help. I'm guessing most who drink 5 pints a day the older they are would probably be overweight or dare I say out of shape so if you cut out the booze and eat healthy, start jogging (which won't cost much) you will gradually get fitter, when you get fitter and see the results it motivates you to keep off the booze. 1 pint beer = 200 calories, 5 pints = 1000 calories That's a saving of £175 per week @ £5 a pint. £9,100 per year, make sure you stick the money in an account and reward yourself each year with a holiday or something. Takes a disciplined mind, YOU have to want to change and take personal responsibility, no one else can help you, not easy but worth it. Best wishes"

Had a brief scan of this thread most of which is familiar territory nobody has mentioned compulsive eating whilst depressed.Apparently according to the kids I was regularly getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning cooking and eating a full English Breakfast and using a trip to the Kiosk to buy my B&H buying ridicullous amounts of Mars Bars or similar saying I had 2 kids but had eaten them before I got home.