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New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 25 Nov 2022, 09:23
by Mike Oxsaw
"Calling it the MEN'S world cup, Yet another woke fuck up. Yet...that's what it is, Don't get in a tizz We've - all of us - been sold a pup. To claim MSM can be trusted, Is like having a flush that is busted."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 24 Nov 2022, 14:43
by arsene york-hunt
"He came home from the pub very pissed And he had a go fucking his fist, He caused a furore, Spunk on the bog floor, He aimed at the bowl but he missed. Calling it the MEN'S wotld cup, Yet another woke fuck up."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Nov 2022, 20:06
by Helmut Shown
It is said that Lionel Messi Will be out of the world cup unless 'e Scores the odd goal Digs his team from a hole And not piss around like a Jessie He came home from the pub very pissed And he had a go fucking his fist
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Nov 2022, 14:07
by arsene york-hunt
"The people of Stow-on-the-Wold Know just what to do when it's cold, They whip off their drawers, And go on fours. Then proceed doggy fashion, I'm told. It is said that Lionel Messi Will be out of the world cup unless 'e."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Nov 2022, 11:12
by Mike Oxsaw
There was a young man from Australia Whose sex life was a bit of a failure. So in the outback He'd empty his sac And dream he'd just butt-fucked a sailor. The people of Stow-on-the-Wold Know just what to do when it's cold
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Nov 2022, 23:36
by Helmut Shown
"I once met a wizened old elf Who told me to think for myself He said ""like it or lump it If you want to pull crumpet For you might end your life on the shelf"" There was a young man from Australia Whose sex life was a bit of a failure"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Nov 2022, 16:52
by Mike Oxsaw
In Qatar they don’t think it matters That they persecute the brown hatters. They're also keen hunters Of casual rug-munchers And care not if they leave lives in tatters. I once met a wizened old elf Who told me to think for myself.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Nov 2022, 16:39
by arsene york-hunt
"A football fan from Qatar Can’t let his wife drive his car, Can't go out on her own She needs a chaperone, They've not even got a gay bar In Qatar they don’t think it matters That they persecute the brown hatters"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Nov 2022, 11:24
by Helmut Shown
"There once was a bloke from Wood Green, Was mugged by a cash point machine Without due regard It swallowed his card So he put his fist through the screen In Qatar they don’t think it matters That they persecute the brown hatters"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Nov 2022, 01:53
by ,
"There once was a bloke from Wood Green, Was mugged by a cah point machine. Made a fool By the hole in the wall Just his luck that he wasn’t seen. A football fan from Qatar Can’t let his wife drive his car"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Nov 2022, 16:23
by arsene york-hunt
"There once was a bloke from Wood Green, Was mugged by a cah point machin."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Nov 2022, 16:23
by arsene york-hunt
"He was given a very strange gift It went down like a fart in a lift A men's fragrance set, And it's not opened yet, And he's given the donor short shrift."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Nov 2022, 16:23
by arsene york-hunt
"He was given a very strange gift It went down like a fart in a lift A men's fragrance set, And it's not opened yet, And he's given the donor short shrift."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Nov 2022, 16:21
by arsene york-hunt
"I think I might file for divorce, My wife is the problem, of course, I'm under the cosh, She's wants all my dosh, A hit man is cheaper, of course. There once was a bloke from Wood Green, Was mugged by a cah point machin."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Nov 2022, 13:26
by Helmut Shown
"I think I might file for divorce, My wife is the problem, of course. She’d nag and she’d whinge And won’t show her minge And has a face like a horse He was given a very strange gift It went down like a fart in a lift"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Nov 2022, 14:48
by Mike Oxsaw
"Hillbillies whoop and fist bump With the second coming of Trump. They won't give a fig, As Dems squeal like a pig And the Elephants give them the hump. I think I might file for divorce, My wife is the problem, of course."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Nov 2022, 12:52
by Helmut Shown
There was an old man Mr. Bird. Could not flush a resistant turd. Always one for showboating He left it there floating As he crept from the toilet unheard Hillbillies whoop and fist bump With the second coming of Trump
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Nov 2022, 16:13
by arsene york-hunt
"It seems now, for 3000 years. We've bossed the whole world, without peers. If you come to this nation, Ask for reparation, Before all our dosh disappears. There was an old man Mr. Bird. Could not flush a resistant turd."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Nov 2022, 15:16
by Mike Oxsaw
"What sets a gentleman apart Is how he deals with a fart If one of his own, He lets it be known It's source was some baked rhubarb tart. It seems now, for 3000 years. We've bossed the whole world, without peers."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Nov 2022, 13:02
by Helmut Shown
There was a Welsh man called Oates Got excited when herding his goats. They’re a bastard to catch So when he wanted some snatch He crept up on them wearing some Totes What sets a gentleman apart Is how he deals with a fart
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 Nov 2022, 06:05
by arsene york-hunt
I heard that oaf Lewis Dunk In the street stood waving his junk. Thought it would look slick Exposing his dick But it was cold and it had shrunk. There was a Welsh man called Oates Got excited when herding his goats.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Nov 2022, 15:20
by Helmut Shown
"蘇西 a girl from the far east ""Down below"" was covered with yeast She decided to go Where there's plenty of snow And spent a night on the piste I heard that oaf Lewis Dunk In the street stood waving his junk"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 17 Nov 2022, 12:00
by arsene york-hunt
"It was said that Attilla the Hun Was after “A Place in the Sun” Set up his Marquee, In Jaywick on Sea, And thought: Sod this place, it's is no fun. 蘇西 a girl from the far east ""Down below"" was covered with yeast"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 16 Nov 2022, 17:07
by Helmut Shown
"They say that a Mars bar each day, Will help you to work, rest and play. But Marianne Faithful When feeling quite playful Caught thrush in an unusual way It was said that Attilla the Hun Was after “A Place in the Sun”"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 16 Nov 2022, 14:58
by arsene york-hunt
"So NASA has gone back into space, Their rocket shot off at a pace. It's off to the moon, Then Mars and Neptune? Or some such galactical place. They say that a Mars bar each day, Will help you to work, rest and play."