West Ham Online

"I have a mate who originates from Grimsby and his 1st job was in a fish factory up there. His job was to scoop the eyes out the cod, apparently it's a very well paid job as not many have the stomach to do it!"

"360, Iran, because they are capable and do ignite proxy wars, Yemen, Gaza now, Lebanon if the country wasn’t completely bust. And their reach in Syria. Their a ‘pal’ of Russia, get on increasingly well with China. Also because they’ve been enriching uranium at an increasing rate, that’s no longer curbed, because the nuclear agreement with them was ended. The talks to get it back into action have dragged on for two years? Because they’ve recently taken steps to normalise relations with Saudi Arabia."

"Trying to deal with Ovo energy provider, in a series of phone calls, online chat and one visit to their office. For a combined 8 hours. The second one would be dealing with EDF energy provider. I did spend a week in an abattoir, but even if the induction week had involved biting an ear off a pig and eating it, it would still be as per above."

"Helping put a dead old man into body bag in a nursing home. Digging up concrete with a pneumatic drill next to the kill zone in a slaughter house. Pigs on Tuesday, cows on Wednesday, sheep on Thursday, cows on Friday and Monday was a Bank Holiday."

"A dying woman on a blazing June day in 2020 the depths of covid trying to arrange for someone to take the lady a drink as everyone was too busy or was Covid’d up , Her daughter was her carer and she’d gone down with it"

"Did a boat load of jobs at University for cash. Some of the less 'glamorous' - Butchers assistant - Worked at a Dairy bottling plant - Dustman the last two were back breaking and I hated them, but I also didn't leave Uni with a mountain of debt like some, however I did have an appreciation and respect for hard work and being self reliant which a lot of young people could use today (god i sound old)"

"The other nasty task that springs to mind was when in Spain 1997 when Mrs Bullet got stung by a scorpion while sunbathing and went into anaphalatic shock, her eyes had rolled to the back of her head and drifting in and out of consciousness, we were in the mountains with no landline, no mobile then either, no car, no immediate neighbours, hospital was 1 hour drive, I thought I was going to lose her and believe my actions saved her if she had drifted into unconsciousness the poison would have done its work, probably would have gone into a coma and never come around. I was screaming at her, and shaking her and slapping her face. Threw a bucket of cold water over her and it shocked her and she came around. Then stumbled on all fours and preceded to projectile vomit and defecate simultaneously as her body rejected the poison."

Said houses and flats once cleared and cleaned were sold for upto 70% off price at auction to cash buyers only as noone could afford a mortgage. Cash was King for the few who had it and they made a killing as in 1997 prices rebounded 50%.

"In 1990 I got made redundant after 14 years service with 3 months statutory payoff which didn't last long with a wife and 18 month old twin boys. Mortgage rate was 17%, house prices dropped -40%, repossessions at all time high 400000 lost their homes, unemployed at 11%. No jobs around so for a few years I worked with a mate who used to empty out repossessed properties which were left in a disgusting state, once emptied of old furniture a moutain of unmentionable shit and pulling up soiled carpets they needed cleaning. I used to wear a mask and would heave especially bathrooms toilets and kitchens. Thankfully the work dried up as interest rates went down to 8% and the banks ran out of homes to repossess as I was near breaking point. I still cant fathom how people lived in such squalor."

My dads uncle owned a grave yard and one summer for extra money he worked as a grave digger. No idea how many he dug but the last one was a child’s one.

"Labouring for a small company based in hackney Wick. Had me on the kango drill knocking walls out of an derelict care home. In there on my own was bad enough as the place just gave me the shitters. Cold in every room and it wasn't even winter. Anyway, I had to knock through walls of old boiler cupboards and then had to clear the rubbish into those hard wearing black bin bags. You might know the type, no bigger than a Tesco bag for life but I've got to load it with breeze blocks, plaster and bricks. All whilst wearing one of those dust masks. Horrendous work."

"Worked for Amtrak delivering parcels in the winter of 2002, 120 parcels around RM8 RM9 RM10, loads of Tiny computers and cleaning fluids, fucking nightmare."

I temped for a couple of years while playing in various bands as a way of earning enough to pay the rent and a couple spring to mind. Two weeks doing rubble clearance on a building site after the digger and blokes with hiltis had reduced the building to small chunks. We shovelled up the remains and barrowing it into skips. i did also get a few gigs depping on bass in a reggae band with a lovely guy I met on that one so there was an up side. The other was meant to be quick morning unloading and fitting a truck load of partition wall panels to the 11th floor of an office block. It was an early start (half six-ish) but ended up as a very late finish. They had measured the lift to check it was big enough to take a panel but had failed to measure door so they had to go up the stairs instead. They were fucking panels too and we had to have one person on each corner. The project manager was nice enough to take us out for a few beers afterwards as thanks as well as giving us a couple of extra hours on our timesheets.

"stewey 11:18 Thu Oct 12 If you hadn't, I was going to.?üòÅ"

"First job out of school - a lead workers labourer. Not a great job for someone with a paralysing fear of heights, but I managed just about as long as there was scaffolding. could never get on a roof direct from a ladder. One job we were on a site that was beginning to take down the scaffolding as job was nearly complete. Last task after putting lead flashing was to oil it. There was one section of roof to do was an area where scaffolding was removed - i'd started at the top having climbed over the ridge from the other side. Sliding down on my butt oiling as i go. 8 storeys up. The chimney i was oiling was approx 10m from the edge of the roof - and yet when i finished I just couldn't turn around and walk back up... never felt fear like it. took a good half hour to inch my way back up. No idea why i agreed to do it in the first place and no way would sites allow that today - pretty sure they shouldn't have then either."

So you're the one responsible for joyo's first nicking..

Back in the mid 80s when I was a rookie PC I had to stand behind a fake partition wall in a gents toilet and watch men wank each other off and then inform my colleague waiting outside so he could arrest them. No job for an innocent 19 year old.

"Clearing out the insulation and clutter from an attic of a hoarder that had been infested over a number of months and possibly years with rats. Apart from the shit, stench and corpses of mummified rats everywhere i also fell through the ceiling as everything had been gnawed away including the plasterboard and joists. It made my skin crawl and gave me nightmares for weeks after."

"Clearing out the insulation and clutter from an attic of a hoarder that had been infested over a number of months and possibly years with rats. Apart from the shit, stench and corpses of mummified rats everywhere i also fell through the ceiling as everything had been gnawed away including the plasterboard and joists. It made my skin crawl and gave me nightmares for weeks after."

That's brutal MD. If we are just talking work wise I worked in the freezer at Bejam's years ago. No real health and safety the with my coat with a knackered zip and gloves with holes in and no limit to how long you could spend in there. Think I lasted 4 days!

Retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield’s arse

Dog - WHOmail!

"Not physical, but hardest task I've ever done was announcing the suicide of a student to my year group a few years back."

"My old man's first job was in a slaughterhouse, holding the bucket to catch the blood of the pig while it squealed and thrashed around when they slit its throat. He still loved black pudding all his life."

Clearing up Winston's bogeys that he'd gobbed out by the fire.