West Ham Online

Usual rules apply

"The Sister is washing a patient in ICU while the doctors are considering turning off the ventilators. The Sister when washing her vagina notices that the patient blinks. She calls the Doctors and shows them. The Doctors call in her husband and ask him if he wants to try to stimulate her. They tell him that oral sex would be the best thing to try. They leave him behind the curtains, but after a couple of minutes the alarms start going off. The Doctors rush in and the husband tells them ""I think she's choking on the semen."""

"A man turns to his wife in bed and whispers, ""Did you know it's National Orgasm Day?"" ""Oh, what a pity,"" she said, ""Right in the middle of National Headache Week !!"""

Jokes don't kill people. Muslims who are offended by jokes kill people.

What the fuck just happened ?

The obvious - and correct - answer is WHO's there.

I was on a13 yest wen I drive past 2 crisps I stop my Beamer n said ite lads u want a lift in the wagon n they said no thx we are walkers AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hw the fuck u stupid freak i posted a joke

Jesus Christ...you are a painfully shit comedy character...you are funnier in your WHOmails though...but not by much

adolf. adolf who? ADOLF BALL JUS HIT IN MY EYE AND IT RELE HURTS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

whos there u might ask

knock knock

Erith Jeff 3:24 Mon Dec 14 WTF ???

"so ther an English man a irish man scot tish man in a bar. the English man said to the irish one, u come here often then the scot man said who me and the irish man said no thnk he is talkin to me so then the scotman said what beer they got and then the English man said they only got foster and then irish man said no peroni ? and then he sed no"

A man utd fan walks in to a travel agents and says im looking to get away for a few days what do you recommend . The agent says you can't beat bournemouth this time of year

"Did you know that Saudi Arabia and Dubai have some subtle differences in their cultures. So, for example, they have different rules on what cartoons their children are allowed to watch. In Riyadh they are not allowed to watch The Flintstones but Abu Dhabi do."

"A boy came running into his house to his mum excitedly yelling, ""Mum, mum, we're sitting round the neighbour's watching porn!"" Mum: ""WHAT!!?"" Boy: ""Relax, mum! It's child porn!"""

"A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, maths and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, ""Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"" The professor replied, ""No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."" The chief was silent for a moment, then said, ""Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."""

pedestRIBan crossing?

why did the chicken cross the road

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?"

A man walks into the zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Denver Hammer 7:16 Fri Nov 13 Re: THE joke threads (part 5) Many years ago on a family holiday in Ibiza my old man was ""chatting"" to some Germans at the bar: ""Bobby Moore Gut"", ""Franz Beckenbaur good"", etc. One of them asks ""Have you ever been to Germany?"" My old man replies ""Yes, but only by night!"". He was a navigator in Lancasters..."

"A man, who sued BA for his baggage going missing, has lost his case...."

What do we want? More questions! When do we want them? Thanks! What do we want?! Time travel! When do we want it?! Irrelevant! What do we want?! A cure for ADHD! When do we want it?! Squirrel!! What do we want? A cure for Tourette's! When do we want it? cսnt! WHAT DO WE WANT? HEARING AIDS! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? HEARING AIDS!