Page 156 of 361

New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Apr 2018, 17:42
by cup of tea
"That day he was feeling quite sick, As the doctor examined his dick. The doc stroked the full shaft It was all such hard graft Out came and explosion so thick There was an old lady from Bel Air Who walked around with thick cum in her hair"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Apr 2018, 15:35
by arsene york-hunt
"With his hand up her skirt he felt She was wearing a chastity belt, But he had the key Won at poker you see, With a very good hand he'd been dealt. That day he was feeling quite sick, As the doctor examined his dick."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 24 Apr 2018, 18:36
by Helmut Shown
"An Emperor in old Beijing, Spent all day playing with his thing When he went to his bed A slave would give head While another would tongue 'round his ring With his hand up her skirt he felt She was wearing a chastity belt"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 24 Apr 2018, 12:48
by arsene york-hunt
"Yet another royal brat, what a ponce Lets hope he doesn't turn out to be a nonce, Yet another toff I wish they'd fuck off Treating us with complete nonchalance, An Emperor in old Beijing, Spent all day playing with his thing."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 23 Apr 2018, 16:20
by cup of tea
"David Moyes was seeking inspiration Watched Fat Sam's tedium demonstration Some called him an oaf But in fact used his loaf Whilst jerking his cock fast masturbation Yet another royal brat, what a ponce Lets hope he doesn't turn out to be a nonce"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 23 Apr 2018, 12:35
by Far East Hammer
Of the mile high club he dreamed So with the local old slapper he teamed Aboard Ryanair This desperate pair Saw the state of the loo then demurred David Moyes was seeking inspiration Watched Fat Sam's tedium demonstration

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 23 Apr 2018, 10:38
by Helmut Shown
As we approach with sun month of May Birds with tits out in the sun I do prey As I wait in the bushes I dont look at their mooshes Tossing off in my beret Of the mile high club he dreamed So with the local old slapper he teamed

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Apr 2018, 16:44
by cup of tea
"A young man from round Clapham Junction, To a sore on his knob applied unction. It was red raw from wanking whilst doing on line banking before setting off for his function As we approach with sun month of May Birds with tits out in the sun I do prey"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Apr 2018, 15:20
by arsene york-hunt
"To stand as man when you fart Keeps you and the lesser apart Lift one cheek from a chair, To release the foul air, Is bloody poor form for a start. A young man from round Clapham Junction, To a sore on his knob applied unction."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 21:04
by Helmut Shown
"There was a young man from Broadstairs, Who wore platform soles and Lionel Blairs When they were in fashion Fing'ring the only passion And the girls kept their pubic hairs To stand as man when you fart Keeps you and the lesser apart"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 19:34
by arsene york-hunt
"When out on his daily stroll He tripped and fell in a pothole, He was covered in muck, And said: ""What the fuck?"" But carried on to reach his goal. There was a young man from Broadstairs, Who wore platform soles and Lionel Blairs"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 11:46
by Helmut Shown
"In Vicksburg on the Mississippi, The prostitute got rather lippy She really detested What her pimp had suggested She'd do with Bungle and Zippy When out on his daily stroll He tripped and fell in a pothole"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 03:09
by arsene york-hunt
"A woman from Clacton on Sea In her arse was stung by a bee Of good hygeine bereft, in her gluteal cleft, The doc saw dried shit and a flea. In Vicksburg on the Mississippi, The prostitute got rather lippy"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 01:22
by HairyHammer
The last months have been a pain You go out and it pisses with rain But the past few day's I've been blessed with ray's Why? cos I've pissed of to Spain. A woman from Clacton on Sea In her arse was stung by a bee

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 20:56
by Helmut Shown
"A young lady from near New Orleans Had an unsightly stain on her jeans On something she sat? No, I think she shat Shouldn't have eaten those beans The last months have been a pain You go out and it pisses with rain"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 20:10
by arsene york-hunt
"Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19 ""Flouncing"" the rules was he? Shocking!"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 20:10
by arsene york-hunt
"Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19 ""Flouncing"" the rules was he? Shocking!"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 20:08
by arsene york-hunt
"Some posters just don't ""get"" this site, They're ""cool"", and they're ""smart and they're...""bright"". But their minds are quite small, Thinking they know it all And one thing they aint is polite. A young lady from near New Orleans Had an unsightly stain on her jeans"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 19:51
by Mike Oxsaw
"The weather outside is a delight Oh fuck a fat bird what a sight Armpits soaking wet And an arse that is set In black sweat pants two sizes too tight. Some posters just don't ""get"" this site, They're ""cool"", and they're ""smart and they're...""bright""."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 19:39
by Helmut Shown
"Alwaysaniron 10:10 Thu Apr 19 Re: New Limerick Thread . Was it the reference to ""the unlubed back door""?"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 13:28
by cup of tea
"These knifings and shootings by gangs Would stop if the culprit hangs Whether black, white or chink This whole country stinks ""i'm pissed off with it all""I once sang The weather outside is a delight Oh fuck a fat bird what a sight"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 10:12
by Alwaysaniron
*Shown

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 19 Apr 2018, 10:10
by Alwaysaniron
Mods mods Helmut shewn must be banned from the site with immediate effect for flagrantly flouncing the rules of the Limerick Thread. I demand action is take.

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 18 Apr 2018, 17:58
by Helmut Shown
"There was a young man from Warsaw, Went to have his first sex with a whore He missed out on love As he tried to shove His erection in her unlubed back door These knifings and shootings by gangs Would stop if the culprit hangs"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 18 Apr 2018, 17:35
by Alwaysaniron
"There was a young man from Warsaw, Went to have his first sex with a whore, She bent down to receive And could not quite believe When he did her via the back door! A fat bloke coming back to our ground Was perturbed by a strange booing sound"