Page 170 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2017, 01:11
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young man fro Milan Caught short he pissed in a can Had he wanted a poo Then a can wouldn't do. Best bet is the back of a van. Tomorrow, it is Christmas Eve It's time to get pissed, I believe."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2017, 00:42
by Helmut Shown
At a classical concert up North in a performance of Schubert's fourth He sat there and farted And quickly departed While they waved their hands back and forth There was a young man fro Milan Caught short he pissed in a can
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 23 Dec 2017, 00:42
by Helmut Shown
At a classical concert up North in a performance of Schubert's fourth He sat there and farted And quickly departed While they waved their hands back and forth There was a young man fro Milan Caught short he pissed in a can
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Dec 2017, 13:03
by arsene york-hunt
"Let's start the new year with a win, Stick it to the yids on the chin, So deluded and smarmy, Are the cuntish yid army, Let us dump their hopes in the bin. At a classical concert up North in a performance of Schubert's fourth."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 22 Dec 2017, 12:54
by Helmut Shown
"The end of work for Twenty seventeen For a break I am really quite keen The turkey and plum duff I'll have quite enough After watching on the tv, the queen Let's start the new year with a win, Stick it to the yids on the chin"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 23:28
by ,
"DLC, your lines need to scan, can you tweak them?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 23:27
by Dowies Love Child
In Morocco a new health farm hit. .Is cov'ring yourself with camel shit As learned from the Moors It's great for the pores Though in truth you'll smell quite a bit. The end of work for Twenty seventy For a break I am really quite keen
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 20:29
by arsene york-hunt
"An Arab was walking the dunes Whilst humming some Bedouin tunes, Then to my surprise, He sang Spanish Eyes, Which is popular in their communes. In Morocco a new health farm hit. .Is cov'ring yourself with camel shit"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 16:16
by Mike Oxsaw
By the church in St Martin le Grand A man took his penis in hand A nun knelt to pray But it got in the way Which wasn't quite what she had planned An Arab was walking the dunes Whilst humming some Bedouin tunes
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 16:14
by arsene york-hunt
"By the church in St Martin le Grand A man took his penis in hand, During the Eucharist He was very pissed, And wanking was not what he planned. In a classical concert up North in a performance of Schubert's fourth."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 15:58
by Helmut Shown
"A bloke from Bblaenau Ffestiniog, In the khasi did a phantom log. A curved stool will tend To bounce round the bend And not leave a skid down the bog By the church in St Martin le Grand A man took his penis in hand"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 12:36
by arsene york-hunt
"In bed with his girlfriend Kate Who'd often massage his prostate Finger up his bum, And sometimes her thumb, He says the sensation is great. A bloke from Bblaenau Ffestiniog, In the khasi did a phanton log."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 10:10
by Helmut Shown
"But then comes a week of good cheer As we all welcome in the new year By then we're all skint And the silly old bint Wants to go to the sales, oh dear! In bed with his girlfriend Kate Who'd often massage his prostate"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 10:04
by Helmut Shown
I really do love Christmas Eve It matters not in what you believe Your mates all insist You go out and get pissed And then to the toilet to heave In bed with his girlfriend Kate Who'd often massage his prostate
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 09:57
by Mike Oxsaw
"I really do love Christmas Eve It matters not in what you believe. Mince pies & mulled wine, Then in bed by nine... Nah. Fuck that! It all makes me heave. But then comes a week of good cheer As we all welcome in the new year"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 09:22
by Dowies Love Child
A Spaniard from sunny Tenerife As gay as they come loved his beef But he was clingy and cloying which was extremely annoying So his liaisons were all rather brief. I really do love Christmas Eve It matters not in what you believe
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 07:50
by HairyHammer
Santa Claus only comes in December an event he will fondly remember He likes the mince pies But favours housewives Who he bangs with his stonking red member. A Spaniard from sunny Tenerife As gay as they come loved his beef
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 00:21
by Dowies Love Child
"A young girl from Potter Heigham, Wanted dildos and went out to buy 'em She's a diligent shopper but it's still quite improper to expect she'll be able to try'em. Santa Claus only comes in December an event he will fondly remember"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 Dec 2017, 00:09
by Helmut Shown
"A young girl from Potter Heigham, Wanted dildos and went out to buy 'em Ejected from the store They've told her before You can look but you cannot try 'em Not one shot on target all night God! What a load of old shite"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 20:29
by arsene york-hunt
beer*
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 20:29
by arsene york-hunt
"Approaching the end of year, I fancy a stroll on the pier. The end is quite far, And there isn't a bar, I suppose I will take my own been. A young girl from Potter Heigham, Wanted dildos and went out to buy 'em"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 16:27
by Mike Oxsaw
"There was a young girl called Louise, Got a job at the local striptease She had a foul mouth, Her tits had gone south And her fanny just stank of knob-cheese. Approaching the end of year, I fancy a stroll on the pier"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 15:47
by arsene york-hunt
"In the circus, upon the trapeze An artist developed a wheeze, He slipped and fell down Landed on a fat clown, Both buried in Stockton on Tees. There was a young girl called Louise, Got a job at the local striptease"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 15:47
by arsene york-hunt
"In the circus, upon the trapeze An artist developed a wheeze, He slipped and fell down Landed on a fat clown, Both buried in Stockton on Tees. There was a young girl called Louise, Got a job at the local striptease"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 Dec 2017, 14:59
by Mike Oxsaw
"People who 'play' Santa are nonces In addition to this also ponces And, how do we know? Well, ""Ho!"", and ""Ho! Ho!"" Are not in a straight guy's responses. In the circus, upon the trapeze An artist developed a wheeze"