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New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 26 Nov 2017, 11:37
by arsene york-hunt
"There was a young man from Leicester When seeing old woman became a molester, This perverted prick, Has spent years in the nick. And now looks like old Uncle Fester. A name that always gets a a titter. Is that of Paul Gadd (Gary Glitter)."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Nov 2017, 15:14
by cup of tea
"There was a young girl from Melbourne, Who got a job acting in porn. When she opened her legs It smelt of foul eggs All in all it still have me the horn There was a young man from Leicester When seeing old woman became a molester"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Nov 2017, 09:47
by arsene york-hunt
"When pissing in the swimming pool But from the top board? Not coo, But some dirty git Once did a big shit, Not what you'd expect at church school. There was a young girl from Melbourne, Who got a job acting in porn."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Nov 2017, 09:47
by arsene york-hunt
"When pissing in the swimming pool But from the top board? Not coo, But some dirty git Once did a big shit, Not what you'd expect at church school. There was a young girl from Melbourne, Who got a job acting in porn."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 25 Nov 2017, 09:43
by arsene york-hunt
"When pissing in the swimming pool But from the top board? Not coo, But some dirty git Once did a big shit"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 24 Nov 2017, 17:35
by Helmut Shown
"A young lady, a bit of a tramp, Was thrown out of the nudist camp On a greeting a chum She'd finger their bum Then lick to check it was damp When pissing in the swimming pool But from the top board? Not cool"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 24 Nov 2017, 13:40
by arsene york-hunt
"A young lad up in the north east Was touched by a catholic priest, His mum was elated ""We'll be compensated Maybe fifty thousand at least."" A young lady, a bit of a tramp, Was thrown out of the nudist camp"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 24 Nov 2017, 11:31
by Helmut Shown
"She was singing a catchy ditty Of how she lost her virginity With a spotty schoolfriend In the bikeshed she'd bend No foreplay, no finger, no titty A young lad up in the north east Was touched by a catholic priest"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 23 Nov 2017, 14:39
by arsene york-hunt
"He took out and polished his glass eye But dropped it right into his pie, It ruined the taste, of the pie and puff paste, Which was bought for him by Barry Fry.. She was singing a catchy ditty Of how she lost her virginity"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 23 Nov 2017, 13:34
by arsene york-hunt
"He took out and polished his glass eye But dropped it right into his pie,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 22 Nov 2017, 20:19
by Helmut Shown
"There was once a young man who was Dutch, Had virulent sore on his crutch Whilst sat on a bus It oozed whiffy pus It made him quite frightened to touch He took out and polished his glass eye But dropped it right into his pie"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 22 Nov 2017, 14:13
by arsene york-hunt
"When Friday evening comes around Will there be carnage at our ground? The poor shows won't stop And we're facing the drop, In a feast of shit we will be drowned. There was once a young man who was Dutch, Had virulent sore on his crutch"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 22 Nov 2017, 12:45
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was young man called Jack, Spent hours scratching his scrotal sac. While his dad - a true man Would ban the odd fan Then decide that he wanted them back When Friday evening comes around Will there be carnage at our ground?"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 22 Nov 2017, 02:14
by arsene york-hunt
"He looked for a bog in a hurry Cursing the strength of the curry When he had vindaloo He did semi formed poo, But with rubies, ''twas more like a slurry. There once was young man called Jack, Spent hours scratching his scrotal sac."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Nov 2017, 22:45
by Helmut Shown
With WHO I am growing wearier. Of all of this rampant hysteria On so many fronts These knicker wetting cunts Their postings just couldn't be drearier He looked for a bog in a hurry Cursing the strength of the curry

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Nov 2017, 22:26
by joe blob
"The fans at our coming home game Will hope it's not more of the same. First ten minutes, intense, Then our hapless defence, Will be looking for others to blame. With WHO I am growing wearier. Of all of this rampant hysteria"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Nov 2017, 19:56
by Mike Oxsaw
"A young man who sells fish and chips, Was parting her labial lips The randy young sod Was quite fond of cod But the scent of her minge was the pits. The fans at ou coming home game Will hope it's not more of the same"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Nov 2017, 14:05
by arsene york-hunt
"Friday night in the cold and rain And a nightmare trip on the train, Watch the same old shit As the players just quit, And past twelve when i get home again. A young man who sells fish and chips, Was parting her labial lips"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 21 Nov 2017, 12:17
by Helmut Shown
"The board; they are taking us down, To save on the lease half a crown If we're going non-metric Put a shilling in the electric Before the floodlights breakdown Friday night in the cold and rain And a nightmare trip on the train"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 23:46
by Mike Oxsaw
"Depression and gloom are pervading They play like through shit they are wading Now...hold on a mo' One's having a go. Oh, wait. That's the new boss complaining. The board; they are taking us down, To save on the lease half a crown."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 23:37
by Helmut Shown
If we win all our games yet to play We can still win the league i would say But after this week we are up shit creek And are heading the opposite way Depression and gloom are pervading They play like through shit they are wading

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 22:02
by arsene york-hunt
"Slaven Bilic is now out of work He used to work for the berks, He's not overjoyed, At being unemployed But could fuck off and work for the Turks. If we win all our games yet to play We can still win the league i would say."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 18:00
by ATBOG
"Three Davids dissecting yesterday Wondering what would make the team play One piped up “I’ve got it. Let them squeeze karrens tits” And the squad, they all ran away. Slaven Bilic is now out of work He used to work for the berks"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 17:22
by Far East Hammer
"An Australian prostitute. Who works from the back of her 'ute'. Was feeling quite rum 'Cause of a sore bum She preferred a traditional ""root"" Three Davids dissecting yesterday Wondering what would make the team play"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 20 Nov 2017, 17:22
by Far East Hammer
"An Australian prostitute. Who works from the back of her 'ute'. Was feeling quite rum 'Cause of a sore bum She preferred a traditional ""root"" Three Davids dissecting yesterday Wondering what would make the team play"