West Ham Online

 I was just fired from my job marking exam papers. Can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.

I told my wife that our neighbour had died.
She said "Who, Ray?"
"Celebrating seems a little callous", I replied.

I remember some years ago, Ulrika Johnson, was charged with an act of gross  indecency, masturbating in public with a mobile phone. A police spokesman commented, "yes, that's not the first time, she's been caught with an Eriksson inside her..."