Page 245 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 14:25
by Saul Bollox
"I may emit curses profane If we get much more bleeding rain, My front garden's in flood, And everywhere mud, 'Cos i've got a fucking blocked drain. To see the game live on TV, I've had to sign up to BT."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 09:51
by Helmut Shown
"Now, tennis for me's not a hit Except for the birds - when they're fit Lesbian whores With sweaty old drawers But on my face they could sit I may emit curses profane If we get much more bleeding rain"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 09:02
by Mike Oxsaw
"That Williams girl, Venus Seems of a very strange genus Half person, half tree I think she must be The missing link - Homo Obscenus Now, tennis for me's not a hit Except for the birds - when they're fit"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Jan 2016, 08:07
by Helmut Shown
"There was a young lady called maud. Had a chest like an ironing board. No man's had his paws Inside her drawers It remains to this day unexplored That Williams girl, Venus Seems of a very strange genus"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Jan 2016, 21:44
by Saul Bollox
"A young Spanish girl from Almeria Had magnificent tits you should see her But she could not stay, On the playa today, As she's suffering from bad diarrhoea. There was a young lady called maud. Had a chest like an ironing board."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Jan 2016, 21:13
by Helmut Shown
"A dirty old priest from near Fleet, Had a fetish for choirboy's feet. His cock he tried to park it While little piggy went to market But he went wee wee wee on his meat A young Spanish girl from Almeria Had magnificent tits you should see her"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Jan 2016, 13:07
by Saul Bollox
"As the boy held his apple aloft The girls in the playground went all soft, As his trousers dropped, His cock, out it popped, While most of the young lads just scoffed. A dirty old priest from near Fleet, Had a fetish for choirboy's feet."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Jan 2016, 02:05
by HairyHammer
"There was a young lady from Chippenham Had skanky old drawers and she'd kip in 'em The smell was so foul Even old Tramps would scowl It smelt almost as bad as fans of Tottenham. As the boy held his apple aloft The girls in the playground went all soft,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 29 Jan 2016, 01:27
by Saul Bollox
"There was a young girl from Doncaster Was caught making love to a Rasta, They first heard a shout And he pulled his nob out Causing semen to squirt on the plaster. There was a young lady from Chippenham Had skanky old drawers and she'd kip in 'em"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 23:55
by Helmut Shown
There was a young girl from Nottingham Whose drawers had a really foul twot in 'em Shades of light russet At the back of her gusset At the front piss drops dotting them There was a young girl from Doncaster Was caught making love to a Rasta
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 23:54
by Helmut Shown
There was a young girl from Nottingham Whose drawers had a really foul twot in 'em Shades of light russet At the back of her gusset At the front piss drops dotting them There was a young girl from Doncaster Was caught making I've to a Rasta
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 18:17
by Saul Bollox
"I once knew a man with a lisp Who had a sick fetish about crisps. Costing but a few pence, They cause flatulence, The sort that creeps up in foul wisps. There was a young girl from Nottingham Whose drawers had a really foul twot in 'em"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 17:13
by HairyHammer
"I'm drinking ""Tramp Juice""- don't you knock it I'm sure it could power a space rocket Though it tastes like a penance After three cans of Tennents I'm not worried about what I have in my pocket. I once knew a man with a lisp Who had a sick fetish about crisps."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 16:37
by Mike Oxsaw
"Manners maketh the man it is said Is there etiquette for giving head? Don't gag, simply swallow Is the main rule to follow In fact it is taken as read. I'm drinking ""Tramp Juice"" - don't you knock it I'm sure it could power a space rocket"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 15:47
by Helmut Shown
"As seen in most Chinese cities, Their women do not have big titties But the hairs round their twats Thick as those on some cats Completely hiding their clitties Manners maketh the man it is said Is there etiquette for giving head?"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 14:53
by Saul Bollox
"A poet sat gazing ahead Though nothing came into his head, It's always the same , This Limerick game, I can't get a rhyme, I'm off to bed. As seen in most Chinese cities, Their women do not have big titties"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 06:38
by HairyHammer
I've done a really big sneeze And snot covers both of my knees Though its no big surprise My nose is such a big size It could sniff the sap off maple trees. A banana skin toppled a lady Who fell arse over tit into gravy.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 06:38
by HairyHammer
I've done a really big sneeze And snot covers both of my knees Though its no big surprise My nose is such a big size It could sniff the sap off maple trees. A banana skin toppled a lady Who fell arse over tit into gravy.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 06:24
by HairyHammer
Mike wins.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 06:23
by HairyHammer
"There once was a Buddhist monk, Collected in a jar all his spunk. For he had this big dream That one day he'd be free And sell it to rich Chinese punks. A poet sat gazing ahead Though nothing came into his head,"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 06:00
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was an old buddhist monk, Collected in a jar all his spunk. 'Twas his gift to the gods Those beardy old sods Who create worlds and then do a bunk. I've done a really big sneeze And snot covers both of my knees"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 28 Jan 2016, 01:36
by Saul Bollox
"A Ceebeebies presenter once said ""I flick my bean whilst in bed"" And Reeta Chackrabarti Can also be naughty Being fisted while giving some head. There once was an old buddhist monk, Collected in a jar all his spunk."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Jan 2016, 22:00
by Helmut Shown
"A man walked into Watford Gap Dressed in nothing but an old jock strap The cold - no effect His penis, erect Good manners, no handicap A Ceebeebies presenter once said ""I flick my bean whilst in bed"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 27 Jan 2016, 15:10
by Saul Bollox
"I wish I was a Tottenham fan Said a Jew who supported West Ham, Between you and me, This could never be, This poem is clearly just spam. A man walked into Watford Gap Dressed in nothing but an old jock strap"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 26 Jan 2016, 16:41
by HairyHammer
"A pop singer caused an outrage Taking his penis out on the stage, Some men started to snigger And the girls wished it were bigger Which made him run off in a rage. I wish I was a Tottenham fan Said a Jew who supported West Ham,"