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New Limerick Thread

Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 17 Jan 2016, 23:50
by Helmut Shown
"The singer Screaming Lord Sutch, Once had to walk with a crutch. He thought he'd gain pity And he was so witty But no one believed him too much Conveniently Janner has died Anything that he's said now denied"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 17 Jan 2016, 22:08
by Saul Bollox
"Before he could get to the loo He farted and then followed through, Most hit the floor With some on the door But some ended up in his shoe. The singer Screaming Lord Sutch, Once had to walk with a crutch."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 17 Jan 2016, 20:25
by Helmut Shown
"Another pop singer is dead, Which is big news for the ill bred Great talents getting fewer What's left is a sewer Of the rapping and Cowell we are fed Before he could get to the loo He farted and then followed through"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 16:05
by Saul Bollox
"Poor Lawro looks just like a tit His predictions on West Ham are shit But for Liverpool Tips to win as a a rule, Which has shown that he's a biased twit.. Another pop singer is dead, Which is big news for the ill bred."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 15:35
by HairyHammer
It is said in the forest of dean There lived an effeminate queen He had a sharp tongue And sucked cocks for fun Though his house was always pristine. Poor Lawro looks just like a tit His predictions on West Ham are shit

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 15:35
by HairyHammer
It is said in the forest of dean There lived an effeminate queen He had a sharp tongue And sucked cocks for fun Though his house was always pristine. Poor Lawro looks just like a tit His predictions on West Ham are shit

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 14:36
by Saul Bollox
"A lesson in how to behave And David was so very brave. This King was a swine And put in the front line A man who his wife he did crave. It is said in the Forest of Dean There lived an effeminate queen,"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 09:07
by Mike Oxsaw
"Seems stars dying is now a must First Lemmy now Ziggy Stardust They're dropping like flies, These stars in my eyes It seems so completely unjust A lesson in how to behave And David was so very brave"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 08:41
by Far East Hammer
"A Scotsman, whilst out on the town Did something to let the side down The wind it did gust And for a glimpse just Kilt lifted revealing boxers brown Seems stars dying is now a must First Lemmy now Ziggy Stardust"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 11 Jan 2016, 07:41
by Mike Oxsaw
"The media, wanking them selves insane, On the exploits of mong Harry Kane It's no great surprise, Both run by the Y's Impartial is their biggest bane A Scotsman, whilst out on the town Did something to let the side down"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 23:58
by Saul Bollox
"The yids are not skillful or plucky To be honest they're incredibly lucky It wont be the first Time their bubble has burst. Their fans are just so fucking yucky. The media, wanking them selves insane, On the exploits of mong Harry Kane"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 19:53
by Livingstone
An old tramp did whip out his willie And started to do something silly he was coughing and wheezing The weather was freezing And this silly billys willie got chilly The yids are not skillful or plucky To be honest they're incredibly lucky

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 19:51
by Saul Bollox
"An old tramp did whip out his willie And started to do something silly He had a quick wankie, Cleaned it with his hankie The type with the edges all frilly. The media, wanking them selves insane, On the exploits of mong Harry Kane"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 19:32
by Mike Oxsaw
While exercising down at the gym Her pants split and out popped her quim The foul stench of fish Made everyone wish She'd scrubbed up beforehand with Vim. An old tramp did whip out his willie And started to do something silly

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 17:55
by Helmut Shown
It is said that Sir Isaac Newton Was wanking himself on a futon. His landlord popped by Got spunk in his eye He was evicted by a man with a suit on While exercising down at the gym Her pants split and out popped her quim

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 16:16
by Saul Bollox
"That Bono, whilst saving rare species Did something with both of his neices One of the worst pop singers Grabbed hold of these mingers And fucked the shit from their ring-pieces. It is said that Sir Isaac Newton Was wanking himself on a futon."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 16:01
by Mike Oxsaw
"There once was a girl from up north Heard an old wives tale about a dwarf To fill up her cսnt, Her short midget hunt Got lucky in Canary Wharf That Bono, whilst saving rare species Did something with both of his neices"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 10 Jan 2016, 15:45
by Helmut Shown
"A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line. The very next week In front of the beak He incurred a very big fine There once was a girl from up north Heard an old wives tale about a dwarf"

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:30
by Saul Bollox
WTF?

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."

Re: New Limerick Thread

Posted: 09 Jan 2016, 16:29
by Saul Bollox
"When I take my wife for a drink I wonder ""Just what does she think?"" When up at the bar Orders an advocaat, But when sitting down Champagne (pink). A young man from Liechtenstein, Stole knickers from next door's clothes line."