Page 287 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 16:41
by les marteaux
"There once was a puppy called ""Patch"" Who had many fleas and would scratch, He scrached for so long That he ripped off his schlong So the vet had to construct a snatch. No Manager yet is in place, I fear we are losing the race."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 09:59
by Joke Whole
"There was a young man from Fife who craved a better sex life At the edge of Loch Tay, He found he was gay So no longer needed his wife. There once was a puppy called ""Patch"" Who had many fleas and would scratch"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 08:21
by Helmut Shown
A rapist from old London town Was determined he wouldn't go down with a young girl called Sally He pounced in an alley Disguised as a circus clown There was a young man from Fife who craved a better sex life
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 05:40
by Monk~koknee
Immigration arrested four Poles Bringing illegals through the controls The plan was revealed For badly concealed Were 10 Sikhs in the boot of a Rolls A rapist from old London town Was determined he wouldn't go down
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 06 Jun 2015, 03:15
by les marteaux
My dentist just gave me the bill I have to admit feeling quite ill It might sound quite steep But I have to upkeep A Jag and house up Highgate Hill. Immigration arrested four Poles Bringing illegals through the controls
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 17:18
by Joke Whole
"A young black girl from Accra Did ping pong ball tricks in a bar The stage was well set When she popped out a net Line judges, ball boys and a car. Whatever him what was late posted. Saves me the effort, lazy git what I am."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 16:45
by strong dreams
Late! Yours Helmut
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 16:44
by strong dreams
It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora It's eased off with grass That she sticks up her arse Lubricated with 0% flora My dentist just gave me the bill I have to admit feeling quite ill
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 16:42
by Helmut Shown
It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora her pubes have gone west When she lifts up her vest It's to apply some follicle restorer A young black girl from Accra Did ping pong ball tricks in a bar
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 16:35
by Helmut Shown
(nt)
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 14:23
by les marteaux
"I just had to kill off some ants Who set up a nest in my pants. My wife, as it goes No longer does my clothes And spends all of her time spouting rants. It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 14:18
by Joke Whole
"Yours, les. Me late to party again :-("
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 14:17
by Joke Whole
"Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked So, just like his brothers He'll duck under the covers And claim his accounts have been hacked. I just had to kill off some ants Who set up a nest in my pants."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 14:11
by les marteaux
"Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked Our Jennings, Andrew Exposed him and his crew He's a bloke with no class and no tact.. It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 06:35
by Far East Hammer
"The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe for it's binning An out of court settlement Another dodgy payment FIFA says ""no France? that's sinning!"" Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 00:33
by les marteaux
"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe for it's binning"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 00:32
by les marteaux
"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe fo it's binning"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 05 Jun 2015, 00:32
by les marteaux
"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe fo it's binning"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 20:45
by Helmut Shown
"Who else is left to approach If Bilic is not our next coach? And when he says no To whom do we go? An approach to McLeish will they broach? He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 20:41
by Helmut Shown
(nt)
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 19:41
by ,
The moon it has started to wane Will we ever see it again? Just look at the facts Soon it will wax And evoke a sim'lar refrain Who else is left to approach If Bilic is not our next coach?
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 19:31
by Joke Whole
A tattooist in North Carolina Was putting a ring in a vagina Oh! Gollum!! Oh! Gosh!!! No...wait. This is tosh. I'm sure we can write something finer. The moon - It has started to wane Will ever we see it again?
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 19:16
by les marteaux
"Now. Once upon a time, Some cսnt began this rhyme... Then along came some turd To try to find a word That will create a Lim'rick sublime. A tattooist in North Carolina Was putting a ring in a vagina"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 08:05
by Joke Whole
"I can reveal the Feds ultimate aim To take over the beautiful game Their early form has taught us They want the games in quarters With nothing left the same Now. Once upon a time, Some cսnt began this rhyme..."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 04 Jun 2015, 05:26
by Monk~koknee
"When Fifa's new boss steps to the front, Will we just get another bent cսnt It would be quite perverse If the next one is worse And it's all an elaborate stunt I can reveal the Feds ultimate aim To take over the beautiful game"