Page 291 of 361
New Limerick Thread
Posted: 30 Aug 2014, 19:44
by les marteaux
Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 May 2015, 08:32
by Far East Hammer
During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart 'Twas a sight to be seen As his co-host turned green And was carried off in a cart I caused fellow commuters some pain A silent and deadly on the train
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 May 2015, 08:32
by Far East Hammer
During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart 'Twas a sight to be seen As his co-host turned green And was carried off in a cart I caused fellow commuters some pain A silent and deadly on the train
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 May 2015, 07:58
by Helmut Shown
A young lady from Melton Mowbray In public naughty games would play As people would pass She'd flash her bare arse And even her buttocks she'd splay During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 21 May 2015, 06:23
by Far East Hammer
"At a game against Manchester City A young lady took out her titty. It was much more nice Than Sam Allardyce 'Cause let's face it, he's shitty A young lady from Melton Mowbray In public naughty games would play"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 14:33
by Saul Bollox
"""That ball was not in, it was OUT!"" Is known as ""The Wimbledon Shout"" Said a player so tall As she picked up her ball The ball boy could see up her clout. At a game against Manchester City A young lady took out her titty."
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 13:43
by Joke Whole
"A naturist girl from Rhyl Lay sunbathing at the top of a hill A stranger called Jack Did plunder her crack Then buggered her arse-hole at will. ""That ball was not in, it was OUT!"" Is known as ""The Wimbledon Shout"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 11:17
by Helmut Shown
"An elderly dominatrix from Stoke Had gone quite a while since her last poke A sailor who she knew Said ""fart and give us a clue"" She didn't think much of his joke A naturist girl from Rhyl Lay sunbathing at the top of a hill"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 08:24
by Far East Hammer
"Last week I drove to a market In my car but there's nowhere to park it. So I drove around Whilst I also frowned Eventually yelling out ""oh fuck it!"" An elderly dominatrix from Stoke Had gone quite a while since her last poke"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 05:01
by Saul Bollox
A trawlerman leaving the dock Massaged fish oil over his cock Slipped in easy enough Then slipped out of the muff Of a fishwife who'd lifted her frock. Last week I drove to a market In my car but there's nowhere to park it.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 04:58
by Monk~koknee
There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream His remarkable horn Is phenomenal porn Just 2 pounds on an internet stream A trawlerman leaving the dock Massaged fish oil over his cock
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 04:54
by Saul Bollox
"In a tube train going to Wembley Sat a gooner all trembly Staring at the ceiling He'd the sort of feeling, Not experienced since caned in assemby There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 04:51
by icwhs
A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars He just sat there all day Riding a car full of gays To Stockholms male stripper bars. In a tube train going to Wembley Sat a gooner all trembly
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 04:48
by Saul Bollox
A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars Without him it goes So he just picks his nose While looking straight up to the stars. There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 04:17
by Monk~koknee
"An astronaut ready for take off Wondered "" What if i just let the brake off?"" It was later reported The mission's aborted A mistake he's unable to shake off A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 03:44
by cosmo smallpiece
"A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination So he mustered his men At a quarter past ten On the platform at Charing Cross station An astronaut ready for take off Wondered "" What if i just let the brake off?"""
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 03:30
by Monk~koknee
He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation He couldn't have known He was in the worng zone And is now serving 6 months probation A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 03:30
by Monk~koknee
He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation He couldn't have known He was in the worng zone And is now serving 6 months probation A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 03:22
by cosmo smallpiece
The exciting thing that makes me stare Is first sight of a girl's pubic hair For i know that i've found Neath that fur covered mound My Holy Grail waits for me there He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 02:16
by Saul Bollox
The exciting thing that makes me stare Is first sight of a girl's pubic hair
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 02:14
by Saul Bollox
I wonder who'll be our new gaffer I guess it's not going to be Rafa We will take a punt On some untried cսnt Or maybe a South African kaffir. Fucked if i could find anything else to rhyme.
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 20 May 2015, 00:42
by cosmo smallpiece
"The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up After winning, this chap And his team did a lap Of honour while hoisting the boss up I wonder who'll be our new gaffer I guess it's not going to be Rafa"
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 May 2015, 23:55
by ,
A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie she got in a state for having to wait his orgasm being somewhat tardy The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 May 2015, 23:55
by ,
A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie she got in a state for having to wait his orgasm being somewhat tardy The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 May 2015, 22:39
by Hello Mrs. Jones
While walking Blackpool's Golden Mile A girl stepped out with a smile In place of a cock A nice stick of rock Which she shaped like a dick with a file A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie
Re: New Limerick Thread
Posted: 19 May 2015, 22:29
by Helmut Shown
Ben Adhem (May his tribe increase) Awoke from a deep dream of peace There was dampness on his sheet From his crotch down to his feet Through a surfeit of elbow grease While walking Blackpool's Golden Mile A girl stepped out with a smile