West Ham Online

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

"A feisty young girl from Dunoon Was local bike in a commune, A spunk covered dress, Her mattress a mess, Around which used condoms were strewn. Though they were never in slavery, They want compo from you and from me"

A gay Vicar in a church in Tring Developed a sore on his ring the dirty old wanker Had a syphilis chanchre caught after a homosexual fling A feisty young girl from Dunoon Was local bike in a commune

"The shyster agents abound Yet another, West Ham have found, A parasitic cad Representing Vlad Stick him on Wizz, Prague bound. A gay Vicar in a church in Tring Developed a sore on his ring"

"I used to like Adriane Posta Until I heard she lives in Gloucester. Never showed her fanny And now she's a granny I think I'd prefer a Costa The shyster agents abound Yet another, West Ham have found"

"In a river a bloke called Mike, Was bitten by a giant pike The sight of his arse Was too good to pass And as a hashtag got a like. I used to like Adriane Posta Until I heard she lives in Gloucester."

"There was a young fellow from Partick Who found masturbation cathartic, Couldn't keep it in check, Was seen wanking on deck, Of a Viking cruise in the Arctic. In a river a bloke called Mike, Was bitten by a giant pike"

"A spurs fan from Enfield Chase, Paid tarts to piss on his face Braving a red eye infection For a rampant erection For Y*ds fans its commonplace There was a young fellow from Partick Who found masturbation cathartic"

"A spurs fan from Enfield Chase, Paid tarts to piss on his face Braving a red eye infection For a rampant erection For Y*ds fans its commonplace There was a young fellow from Partick Who found masturbation cathartic"

"A spurs fan from Enfield Chase, Paid tarts to piss on his face Braving a red eye infection For a rampant erection For Y*ds fans its commonplace There was a young fellow from Partick Who found masturbation cathartic"

"There was that odd king from the east Who's groin was infected with yeast. This environment, For some heaven sent, The crab lice were having a feast. A spurs fan from Enfield Chase, Paid tarts to piss on his face"

"Like a bad penny I've come back Still in search of some decent craic... So. Fuck off from here, You rancid old queer And your breath has the stink of a yak. There was that odd king from the east Who's groin was infected with yeast."

"This thread’s worth a compliment Cos’ there’s never an argument Well, I've been away Without much to say Things go smoothly when I'm absent! Like a bad penny I've come back Still in search of some decent craic"

There was a young girl from Nîmes Looking for the man of her dreams A terrible plight There was no Mr right But plenty of wrongs it seems This thread’s worth a compliment Cos’ there’s never an argument

"Now. Valentine's Day is a-coming, And some are expecting a bumming. In the public schools They'll whip out their tools Their behaviour's unbecoming There was a young girl from Nîmes Looking for the man of her dreams"

"There is a celebrity chef Whose every other word is an eff. As a matter of course, He wanks into his sauce Complaints? He's both mutton & Jeff. Now. Valentine's Day is a-coming, And some are expecting a bumming."

"They've SEEN their trophy dreams pass. Sp*rs a top six team? my arse Shit players they've bought And a big mouthed support Typical Y*ds, no class There is a celebrity chef Whose every other word is an eff"

"They've SEEN their trophy dreams pass. Sp*rs a top six team? my arse Shit players they've bought And a big mouthed support Typical Y*ds, no class There is a celebrity chef Whose every other word is an eff"

They've SEEN their trophy dreams pass. Sp*rs a top six team? my arse.

They've SEEN their trophy dreams pass. Sp*rs a top six team? my arse.

"There was a young girl from Venezuela Went off with a dirty old sailor, He licked out her fanny, Each nook and each cranny, Then took out his knob to impale 'er. They've their trophy dreams pass. Sp*rs a top six team? my arse."

"At Paqueta's assists I've been looking The best killer balls since Brooking. Cresswell, they say Did the same, on his day But I guess that I wasn't looking There was a young girl from Venezuela Went off with a dirty old sailor"

"The priest, when conducting the choir, Said ""Some of you need to sing higher"". By the second verse, He started to curse. ""Your fucking performance is dire."" At Paqueta's assists I've been looking The best killer balls since Brooking."

"A young girl from Mozambique Was regarded by many as a freak She's known as Reg, Has a meat and two veg And goes to the gents for a leak. The priest, when conducting the choir, Said ""Some of you need to sing higher""."

"There was a young man from Southport. In the pub's bog, having a snort. His feet in a bag Having a bum shag You wouldn't have thought he's that sort A young girl from Mozambique Was regarded by many as a freak"

"We welcome to the fold Far East Well he’s here today at least Laid low with infections, Multiple injections, I've heard for chancres and yeast. Some of the above may have been fictionalised for dramatic effect. There was a young man from Southport. In the pub's bog, having a snort."