West Ham Online

I keep trying to pass off Belstaffs one of his mate jetskiing back to London off his head on pills. Basically make it any Med holiday tale and say I was in magaluf and.... 'my mate was so fucked up he tried to jet ski back to London off his head'. That was a goodie but I don't think anyone believed it. What have you told from here?

lab 9:07 Wed Feb 21 Re: Stories from WHO you have stolen as your own I can’t remember the wording or indeed the story ….but there was a poster about to do some bird in the rear but changed his mind because it looked like the top of a Daddy’s sauce bottle . LOL that's fucking hilarious.

I’ve used the shoes falling out of the attic as well it’s a great description. I think the Spanish foggy island cunts bloke stopped posting after he asked if anyone wanted to meet up for a pint before a game and got roundly cunted off.

"Leonard Hatred 12:05 Wed Feb 21 Was it you who described having a shit like ""a load of old shoes falling out of an attic""? I've used that if so"

I can’t remember the wording or indeed the story ….but there was a poster about to do some bird in the rear but changed his mind because it looked like the top of a Daddy’s sauce bottle .

"I wrote a film script that had a horse race scene in it, and called one of the horses Lord Zoltan, but the thing never got made. Another three years that I was paid to waste my fucking time."

"Circa 2007, for some reason a poster on here had my phone number. He rang me at pub closing time, to give me some abuse. Although unprepared, I shouted blue language at him by way of reply. By the end of the conversation we were pissing ourselves laughing about it. This happened several times over a period of about 9 months. He would call me, from a noisy pub, we would call each other cunts, laugh about it, then hang up. To this day I don't know who he was ?ü§î"

"Spanish, that's it. Well remembered. Or someone pretending to be a Spaniard, at any rate."

"Wasn‚Äôt foggy island cunts, from some Spanish poster? I told my mates years ago that Joanna lumley had a rubber arsehole from reading it on here?üòÇ"

Might have been. The 'character' was along those lines.

NR HairyHammer? The pretend Turk?

"Best insult ever was ""fuck off Davies you Scotch egg faced cսnt""."

"I was genuinely pleased and proud to be included in the insult ""You foggy island c##ts"" Who was that again?"

I sometimes tell strangers I’m a cube headed failed estate agent.

I am single-handedly responsible for introducing FMOB into contemporary English vernacular.

People still demand an explanation when I express surprise with a FOMB.

"If someone asks a technical question at work, I’ll often suggest the knob wiping remedy"

I've Zoltanerered a lot.

Yeah fuck me this is 7 years old

"Well confused, this is a years old thread right? That's someone coincidentally dug up at a similar date!?"

Ah the Mornington Crescent threads! Ah Cameltoe!

"The site is on it's arse these days which is a shame, but there has been some genuine genius stuff on here over the years"

"The site is on it's arse these days which is a shame, but there has been some genuine genius stuff on here over the years"

I’ve always said WHO is national heritage. Should have a blue plaque or something

Who in their right mind would steal a story and pass it off as theirs?? I've taken quite a few phrases though

Anyone remember a bloke called a-p or suchlike who used to post stories about his Chinese gangster mate called Tony Rodriguez (or something like that)? Madness.