West Ham Online

"I have a mate who originates from Grimsby and his 1st job was in a fish factory up there. His job was to scoop the eyes out the cod, apparently it's a very well paid job as not many have the stomach to do it!"

"Worked for the brother in law as a youngern who was a fishmonger. Would quite get into it now I’m miles older but gutting fish first thing (often with a hangover )way back used to get me chucking right up. We’d work the markets ,what used to be Harringay dog track,later Battersea bus garage on a Sunday morning (used to hold a Sunday markets there respectively way back when ) dressing crabs and portioning up jellied eels was no fun forty years ago in the winter although the run up to Christmas I’d earn a bomb. The brother in law used to fuck off to the pub at noon and leave me to it,the market shut at two. Driving the truck back as a 15,16 year old with no license back to Romford through town used to take 45/50 minutes on a Sunday afternoon, fuck knows how long it would take nowadays."

"Actually the worst job I've done was editing the testimonies of women trafficked into the UK and forced into prostitution. That's always stuck with me. And they're the ""lucky ones"" that were freed."

*putrifying

"I've done loads of jobs and get bored easily. In the Police there are numerous call outs I attended for people who'd been dead a good while. One I remember was on those circles of grass and trees you get coming off a slip road as the road curls around almost in a circle. Some homeless bloke had camped there, died of natural causes and the not found for weeks. Literally looked like a zombie. Tbh though I found that quite interesting, not upsetting. I did teacher training for a year I genuinely found not being able to shout at little shits, who needed to learn basic discipline, really really difficult to deal with. I don't mean getting angry but I'd think about how annoying certain kids were constantly and it really bothered me outside work. But dealing with purifying bodies was fine. I think once they're dead they lose any remnant of being human. They are just an inanimate object. So it's not disturbing. Or maybe I'm a sociopath."

"Hammersmith...obviously QPR fan,used to loads of shit"

"I joined a council's fraud team on a suspected benefits fraud raid. On entering the flat, we discovered that the occupant liked to keep their shit in various bins. Fortunately, as I was only there as an observer, I didn't have to clear it up. There were quite a few bins spread thoughout the flat. It was in Hammersmith."

"I joined a council's fraud team on a suspected benefits fraud raid. On entering the flat, we discovered that the occupant liked to keep their shit in various bins. Fortunately, as I was only there as an observer, I didn't have to clear it up. There were quite a few bins spread thoughout the flat. It was in Hammersmith."

"Bonds78 - Last years at school,I had a part time job at a battery chicken farm - picking the eggs up is bad enough but he asked me if I'd clean the insides of the 3 henhouse rooves which entailed brushing loads of dust off of the roof-I had breathing difficulties for months afterwards - my mates lad works in a train depot and has to clean the remnants of suicides off the front of Inter City trains and the like- no ta"

"mashed in maryland 10:16 Tue Oct 17 That's grim mate and ticks all my boxes of terrible smells and dead or suffering animals. It's warped but my pal who cleans up after stabbing murders always telling me he's constantly amazed at how much blood is in the human body and how it's under SO much pressure that it gets on EVERYTHING including ceilings pales into insignificance when I hear a story like yours about the shit lives so many animals endure. I think as I get older I become much more sentimental for the little things. As for the humans (give or take, some stories on here make me sad to my very soul) I couldn't give a fuck Weird eh?"

Phall Throw. Do you teach karate?

Licking out an overweight mess from Rochdale on the beach in Ibiza in 1999

Peace envoy between Jews Muslims and a spattering of Christians..

"Mashed a load of pigeons used to live by the fag door when I worked in Farringdon. Can still smell the smell of their shite, especially on a warm humid day"

"Firm I worked for years ago were tasked with doing a survey on a couple of concrete piers under a motorway. The problem was they needed cleaning out, something which no one knew had ever been done. They were built in the 60s. They were also home to thousands of pigeons. And filled with pigeon shit. Dunno if any of you are acquainted with the stuff (if you're not, keep it that way) but after a time it becomes kind of like polystyrene, but sludgier. There were 2-3 floors in these piers and they were over a foot deep with it, so we had to walk on it, but occasionally fell into it. Clearing it out involved smashing it up with shovels and scooping it into bags. There were also dead/dying/mummified pigeons among it all. Took us 2-3 weeks to remove it all. It was fucking horrible. The smell wouldn't get out of any clothes I wore, my car, hair, fingernails, anything for months. Chucked everything I wore and everything still seemed to stink of it. After clearing it out we got given some ""fact sheets"" hidden in with the RAMS for the survey. Apparently pigeon guano is highly fucking toxic and we should have been kitted up in hazmat suits and given all these chemicals to safely break it down etc. We were in hi-viz overalls and work boots using shovels, brooms, and refuse sacks. To be fair, I've met people who do these ""dirty jobs"", industrial cleaning, sewage workers, slaughterers etc., and they often get paid quite well. But if every day is even half as bad as that was... not a chance. Fair play to anyone who does that sort of thing every day."

"Oh go on then... When I did my diploma in music technology (a long time ago) I had a gay pal who caught HIV. Once you've got that you are part of a club where everyone chips in and does loads of stuff for you Anyway, one of my pals HIV pals hadn't been seen for ages which was quite unlike him, especially as he was one of the more flamboyant gays and this was a boiling hot summer so Dave, my pal, was tasked with going round to his house which coincidentally was just off Kentish Town Rd, two minutes walk from where I live. He banged on the door but all he could hear was a strange sound that sounded like white noise playing really loud from inside the flat. He opened the letterbox to shout and about 30 fat bluebottles flew into his mouth as they tried to escape the boiling hot dead body they'd been eating for the last two weeks. Obviously Dave phoned the police and between them and the ambulance service I struggle to think of a more grim task."

"By the way there's no fucking way that I could contribute to this as I am an emotional, sentimental wreck that just gets worse the older I get. One of my best pals works for Islington council cleaning up after stabbing murders, suicides and coming home from holiday and finding fox soup where your garden pond used to be. Fuck that shit."

I'm equally loving and being disgusted by this whole thread. It's like WHO is back! Well done ladies and gentlemen and keep them coming!

"Many years ago when working for my local council I was approached by a lady that managed the call out rota. They were short. Did I fancy it? You got a standby fee of £86 for the week and you could book a minimum of two hours double time for each job. It was nice extra money for a young bloke. Standard work. Clearing highway after a crash. Clearing up glass of smashed bus shelters, removing fallen branches in high winds etc etc. But bad the work was roadkill. Jesus, I've cleared most animals off the road. Mainly foxes. But the worst were finds that had been there a while. Maggot and fly infested foxes and the like. There was a technique you used to get the animal into the cadaver bag by grabbing its back legs through the bag and then sliding it over the animal. But some were so decayed I was cleaning it up with a spade and broom. Then hose down. Worst one was when i got a call for a dog. Worst nightmare as its more sentimental and you have to check for electronic tags or call owners from the collar. Luckily, when I turned up it clearly wasn't a dog. But the biggest badger I'd ever seen. Bastard had frozen solid through the night. The bag technique was out the window. Too heavy. So I resorted to basically lifting the fucking thing and heaving it into the bag. Like trying to bag up an 8 year old kid. And it stunk like a 1000 tramps. The woman who reported it wasn't too impressed with me ending up kicking it into the bag. Still, least I never had to call dog owners. And, as I said, for a 20 year old the money was great, but probably just wasted on booze, fags and the like."

2left - so that's how you met Tony 'Miranda' Blair?

"Worked at a chicken farm where there were 3 massive huts, ea h housing over 500 birds. I had to collect any eggs that had been laid overnight which was not so bad, neither was the horrendous racket that the birds were making. What did for me after a day and a half was finding dead rats. My one big weakness in lufe is rats, wish it was only a phobia, I couldnt get out of the place fast enough."

"Debs, I think you're probably right. Something about nuttiness releasing inhibition? Alfs, soul destroying, isn't it?"

"Debs, I think you're probably right. Something about nuttiness releasing inhibition? Alfs, soul destroying, isn't it?"

Coffee someone once told me the mad ones are better in bed. I have no idea how well.they researched the subject

"I did that, Coffee. Was paid 50p for every woman's phone number I got, hanging outside central London tube stations. Must have been around 1981. Horrible indeed."

"Worst emotionally: stopping people on the street and trying to sell them insurance that I didn't understand. Hated it with a vengeance. Lasted two days and gave my notice. Worst physically: I did voluntary work in a kind of hospice for poor people in India. Every day two or three people would die. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that the bodies were kept in a non-refrigerated mortuary and were collected once a day. Then the collection people went on strike for four days, so the bodies just stayed there. It was hot and the stench was strong and all-enveloping. If you've ever smelled a decaying dead body, you'll understand. The smell stayed in my nostrils for a week. Utterly, totally foul. Worst convenience: Getting up at 4.00 am to go to Ipswich and count cars going past a particular point on the road for a company called City Clickers. No tea or coffee, let alone Sausage McMuffins. Cold and wet and thoroughly miserable. Worst hard work: the work was only brief - just an hour or two each time. I worked in the airlines and when the Greek baggage handlers went on strike, they asked for people to go down to Athens or Corfu and other places in the area and unload and load the baggage. At night, there and back. It paid well. One night I found myself on a full flight, so had to sit on the jump seat in the cockpit. Unfortunately the captain was a man with whom I shared a relationship of intense mutual dislike. It was bloody hard work, but being stuck strapped into an uncomfortable seat with that cսnt for three or four hours each way was by far the greater ordeal. Best of the worst: evening work in a cloakroom at my university. Boring, but met a girl and we ended up having the most passionate relationship of my life. (Not in the cloakroom.) Such a pity that some intelligent women are total nutters."