West Ham Online

Talk to me. 

A geezer walks into an East End pub and says to the barman,“Can I have a pint of lager? And tell me—where are all the fucking Arabs? I hate fucking Arabs. I’ll fight them in the nude.” The barman gives him his pint and says,“There’s no fucking Arabs around here, mate. You need to join the French Foreign Legion — they fight the Arabs.” So he takes a swig of his pint and says,“Well, I fucking hate the Arabs. I’ll fight them in the nude. I fucking hate them. I’m gonna join.” He goes off and joins the French Foreign Legion. During the interview, the lieutenant says to him,“Why do you want to join the French Foreign Legion?” Before he gets the last word out, our mate interjects,“’Cause I hate the fucking Arabs. I fucking hate them. I’ll fight ’em in the fucking nude.” The French lieutenant replies,“Very commendable. You can start your training.” After two days, he walks up to the French lieutenant, shows him his wooden rifle and says,“What the fuck am I doing with this? I wanna fucking kill the Arabs! I fucking hate them. I’ll fight ’em in the fucking nude!” The French lieutenant says,“Don’t worry. After your training, you can have a proper rifle.” Six months later, at the passing out parade, the lieutenant walks up to the first guy:“Soldier, why did you join the French Foreign Legion?” The guy replies,“Well, I had an affair behind the missus’s back, got caught out, so I thought I’d come over here, join the Legion and help out.” The French lieutenant says,“Very commendable. Here is your weapon.” He walks up to the second guy:“Soldier, why did you join the French Foreign Legion?” “Well, I’d done a bit of robbery and that back home, realised I was gonna get caught, so I thought I’d come out here and fight the Arabs.” “Very commendable. Here is your weapon.” He walks up to our mate:“Soldier—” Before he gets a chance to finish,“You know why I fucking joined the French Foreign Legion—’cause I hate the fucking Arabs! I wanna fucking kill them all. Fight them in the nude, me.” “Very commendable. Here is your weapon.” At that very moment, a soldier in the parapet shouts,“The Arabs are coming!” Our mate turns around and shoots the guy in the parapet—stone dead. The lieutenant shouts,“Soldier! Why did you do that? He was one of our own men!” Our mate says,“Well, if there’s one thing I can’t stand more than an Arab—it’s a fucking grass.”

Laurel and Hardy.

The Flying Deuces.

Are you planning to join?

Far Cough UKunt" wrote: ↑01 Jul 2025, 09:29Mr Anon" wrote: ↑01 Jul 2025, 08:37nowdays the French Foreign Legion should be made of native French peopleIt wouldn't be foreign then wouldn't it?

The French are, and have always been foreigners

Of course we have our own "foreign" legion, in the Gurkhas Brigade.

Far Cough UKunt" wrote: ↑01 Jul 2025, 09:29

Mr Anon" wrote: ↑01 Jul 2025, 08:37 nowdays the French Foreign Legion should be made of native French people

It wouldn't be foreign then wouldn't it?

I think a lot of SS ended up in it after WW2

Read Devil's Guard  by George Robert Elford . All you need to know. 

 

Mr Anon" wrote: ↑01 Jul 2025, 08:37 nowdays the French Foreign Legion should be made of native French people

Absolutely you can get "sacked" from the FFL.

Vieira, Petit, Henry, Pires

nowdays the French Foreign Legion should be made of native French people

I wonder if you can get SACKED from the FFL?

I mean if you were a really shit soldier and an absolute cսnt to boot.

Bloke I used to know was in the paras and then joined the FFL, he was a proper nutcase. Ended up having it on his toes (apparently couldn't go anywhere near France/French territory afterwards) and last I heard he was doing armed security and protection work in the middle east.

Writing FANCY A BUM on your application form is cheating to my mind

Know/knew a few from BELGIUM who followed K.A.A. Gent.

Absolute nutters.  Most ended up on ships sailing past the Somali coast shooting at pirates, and then moved on to shooting Houthi militants on the Red Sea.

They earnt good money doing that.

Out of everyone on this forum, I'm the only one who would get in.

They always get the loudest cheers on Bastille Day.

Is that a football thing?