West Ham Online

His net worth is $151 billion!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Ballmer

This is really exciting news! The porn dwarf's reign is history hopefully!

Have to dig him up first.

Maybe he will make us as successful as the Clippers!!!!

Has this story been confirmed by the bloke on the Yen Desk?

Very successful at Microsoft as he invented the wipe your nob on the screen Window update. 

What is this shit? 

What a load of bollox......i can't believe i read it all to the end!

Alfs wrote: ↑29 Sep 2025, 02:11 Who is this wanker?

Who is this wanker?

Ballmer has bigger fish to fry at the moment as he's been caught bang to rights circumventing the NBAs salary rules. It's massive news over there. 

Pint of CIDER, thanks barman

Someone please turn off the life support for this thread.!

eusebiovic wrote: ↑28 Sep 2025, 21:25 Yeah right, with our wretched luck we'll end up with Jeffrey Dahmer...

Oh dear!

Yeah right, with our wretched luck we'll end up with Jeffrey Dahmer...

The reality is just like Microsoft Windows we will blue screen every five minutes.

Ok, so you’ve made this up and the followed up with a stream of bollocks the length of War and Peace. Good work, Cesar son! 

I asked the AI Grok to predict next ten years if this goes through...

Upon Steve Ballmer's acquisition of West Ham United on September 29, 2025, the club immediately benefits from his reputation as one of sports' most committed owners, drawing from his transformative tenure with the LA Clippers where he invested billions in infrastructure and talent to elevate a perennial underperformer.

Ballmer wastes no time stabilizing the squad by retaining new manager Nuno Espírito Santo through the turbulent 2025-26 season, providing the Portuguese tactician with unprecedented transfer backing to sign proven Premier League stars like a commanding center-back and creative midfielder, mirroring his aggressive recruitment of elite players like Kawhi Leonard for the Clippers.

By the end of 2026, West Ham secures a mid-table finish but clinches their first major trophy in decades—a gritty FA Cup victory—fueled by Ballmer's willingness to outspend rivals on wages and bonuses, much like his unwavering commitment to the Clippers' Intuit Dome project that redefined their franchise identity.

In 2027, Ballmer unveils ambitious plans for a state-of-the-art expansion of the London Stadium, transforming it into a 70,000-seat fortress with cutting-edge fan experiences and youth academies, injecting over £500 million to address long-standing grievances from supporters about the venue's athletics legacy constraints.

The 2028-29 campaign marks a breakthrough as West Ham qualifies for the Champions League group stages for the first time, propelled by a Ballmer-orchestrated spending spree on South American wonderkids and data-driven signings that echo his tech-savvy approach to Clippers roster building.

Managerial continuity thrives under Nuno until 2030, when Ballmer lures a global icon like Thomas Tuchel as successor, ensuring tactical evolution without the sackings that plagued the club under previous ownership amid the 2025 crisis that saw Graham Potter dismissed after just five games.

By 2032, West Ham emerges as a perennial top-four contender, winning the Europa League in a dramatic final and amassing a squad blending homegrown talents from Ballmer-funded academies with marquee imports, all while fan attendance soars past 60,000 per match thanks to aggressive marketing and community initiatives inspired by his Clippers philanthropy.

The pinnacle arrives in 2034 when West Ham lifts the Premier League title in Ballmer's ninth year of ownership, a feat achieved through sustained £200 million annual investments that outpace even Manchester City's model, solidifying the Hammers as East London's undisputed powerhouse.

Looking toward 2035, Ballmer's vision extends to global expansion with sister academies in Los Angeles and sustainable green initiatives at the stadium, positioning West Ham not just as champions but as a blueprint for American-style ambition in European football, with valuations tripling to over £3 billion under his exuberant, fan-first stewardship.


Good times!!!

Give it a rest you twerp