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Jakob Wanker

West Ham Online's Football Forum
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the coming of gary
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Jakob Wanker

Post the coming of gary »

The exciting youngster Jakob WANKER has signed 
for Austrian club LASK Linz (Looks like Leonard just missed him last week)

* orders replica shirt *
.


 
Hello Mrs. Jones
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Hello Mrs. Jones »

If it goes to penalties he'll win the toss
OK_Guy
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post OK_Guy »

rumour has it, that Wanker was scouted by Kuntz, honest.
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Massive Attack
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Massive Attack »

Useless at keeping a clean sheet.
Monsieur merde de cheval
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Monsieur merde de cheval »

Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 19:37 Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com


 

What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
I imagine his ball skills to be up and down 
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Massive Attack
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Massive Attack »

F 129 Row66" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 23:00 A bloke called Rafael Scheidt, pronounced Shite, played for Celtic, in of all places Scotland.   Commentators called him Rafael.

That's actually disrespectful if you are the player and would prefer your Family name to be proudly stated, regardless of the snowflake sensibilities of the darling divs that may have happened to be listening and too fucking thick to understand that.

I hope the crowd managed to chant loud enough so it was still picked up on their mics - He's fucking Scheidt! 🎶
John Drake
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post John Drake »

Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 21:18
Westham67 wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:44
Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:29

What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling

Just learnt he is in fact a Keeper, so it's more about his handling. 
Reckon he's pretty quick coming off his line
F 129 Row66
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post F 129 Row66 »

A bloke called Rafael Scheidt, pronounced Shite, played for Celtic, in of all places Scotland.   Commentators called him Rafael.
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Massive Attack
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Massive Attack »

Westham67 wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:44
Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 19:37 Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com



 

What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling

Just learnt he is in fact a Keeper, so it's more about his handling. 
Westham67
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Westham67 »

Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 20:29
Mex Martillo" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 19:37 Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com


 

What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
And his dribbling
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Massive Attack
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Massive Attack »

Mex Martillo" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 19:37 Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com

 

What's his ability to shoot and ball skills like?
Westham67
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Westham67 »

Kenny Rodgers Roasters is a chain of restaurants in SE Asia and the middle East  
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Mex Martillo
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Mex Martillo »

Looked him up, he really exists and is on transfer.com

Reminds me I once saw a scanned memo from some British empire chap in Sudan in the 1800s telling London he had met a gentleman called Mustavashag.

Somethings never change.
 
Westham67
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Westham67 »

Massive Attack" wrote: 12 Mar 2026, 12:44 His Christian name being Jakobs as well. 😆
Yeah good one LOL
Westham67
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Westham67 »

LOL Who's the VANKER in the black
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Far Cough UKunt
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Far Cough UKunt »

One of the best comments I've seen is, his dad must be a ref.
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goose
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post goose »

he'll fit right in.
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Massive Attack
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Re: Jakob Wanker

Post Massive Attack »

His Christian name being Jakobs as well. 😆
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