I was about to post a covid joke - but then realized that 99.1% of you would not get it!

"Even my on-line Christmas shopping has gone pear shaped, I ordered four Kindles from amazon and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD"

"My grand daughter is learning Spanish privately. But she still can't say please in Spanish, which I believe is poor for four."

"A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, ""So listen, Fred, I have some good news and I have some bad news."" The art collector replied, ""I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."" The lawyer said, ""Well, I met with your wife ...

What's got six eyes and yet still can't see? Three blind mice

"I hear they're making a film about the Vaz affair. A washing machine salesman called Jim offers a Romanian woman $1,000,000 dollars if he can sleep with her husband for one night. It's called Indesit Proposal"

Jeremy Clarkson just tweeted his dismay at the country now being run by May and Hammond

"Dave Cameron meets with HM The Queen. Dave asked her, ""Your Majesty, how do you run Buckingham Palace so efficiently? Is there any advice you can give to me now that my government is falling to pieces?"" ""Well,"" said the Queen, ""the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent ...