"A tall lanky brass from the East, Had a snatch that was riddled with yeast. But boy, she could ski, 'Cos between you and me, She was top notch when on the piste. A waiter from The Star of Bengal, Got involved in a nasty pub brawl."

"There was a young man from Kinross who under his kilt suffered loss When asked if he cared, He loudly declared, ""Nay, Jimmy, Doohnt giva toss!"" I bird I knew from near Gloucester Was quite into one Colin Foster"