I was really looking forward to the last 'Halloween' film as it was disregarding all the shitty sequels that followed the original. Turns out it was just as cliched and just as crap as said sequels. Stupid teen girls stumbling up the stairs whilst Michael Myers follows at a snail's pace - and he sti...

"In a whorehouse in New Orleans, There are 30 girls and two queens. Be careful to check Down from the neck That your whore does not have a Frank and two beans As Levy pondered his club's bill For their new stadium he felt rather ill..."

The next level - just out of reach? Just like that fit bird on the beach. Whenever we think That we're just on the brink We grind to a halt with a screech. Brady was in a bit of a pickle She thought the West Ham fans were fickle

"President Trump ripped off his toupee And shouted "" Quick Melania I want to play"" So un-enthused She suddenly mused ""My god, I wish you were gay."" Slaven Bilic was stressed The supporters were unimpressed"

"Is Ice Films not working anymore? Most probably spoken about somewhere on this thread but I'm not going through hundreds of pages to find this out. I have Sky broadband, if that makes a difference."

"Not sure if mentioned, but Line of Duty is amazing. Seasons 1 & 2 on Netflix, watched the third on Kodi. Phenomenal stuff."

"There's a new Netflix Original series called Spotless. Set in London, it's one of the best shows I've seen a while. All 10 episodes are available to stream. Cracking stuff."

"A Glaswegian was feeling quite jolly, When he said: ""I'm gaein' oot fer a tolly"" The weather was grim The loo roll was slim So he finished his arse on his brolly As the move to Stratford beckons It’ll bring riches, the chairman reckons"