Who is our worst signing?

[Nutsin]

I’ve got Kieran Dyer.

Who you got?

[only1billybonds]

Nsereko closely followed by John Radford.

But to be fair, this really could be a cast of 100's  we have signed some serious shit over the years.

[Harrow Hammer]

Who remembers David Kelly circa '89?

Highly sought after at the time, but all I can recall of him is that he couldn't kick a ball without falling over...just weird and, needless to say, sh*t

[Outer Cape]

According to ChatGPT1. Savio Nsereko (2009)

• Fee: ~£9 million (then a club record!)
• Expectations: Huge — signed as a young prospect from Brescia.
• Reality: Barely played, no goals, disappeared off the radar quickly.
• Often cited as the worst signing in West Ham history.

2. Simone Zaza (2016–17)

• Loan from Juventus after that Euro 2016 penalty.
• No goals in 11 games; looked totally lost in the Premier League.
• Hammered (no pun intended) by fans for lack of effort and confidence.

3. Álvaro Arbeloa (2016–17)

• Ex–Real Madrid and Spain international.
• Came in with pedigree, but his legs were gone.
• Only managed 3 appearances before being released.

4. Benni McCarthy (2010–11)

• Arrived unfit, stayed unfit, never scored a goal.
• Left with a payoff rumored to include a “weight clause” fine!

5. Kieron Dyer (2007–11)

• Hugely talented, but constant injuries ruined his time.
• Cost millions in wages for just 30 appearances in 4 years.

6. Jonathan Calleri (2016–17)

• On loan from Deportivo Maldonado.
• One goal (a deflected one at that) in 19 appearances.
• More known for missing sitters than scoring.

7. Razvan Raț (2013–14)

• Romanian full-back with high hopes, but offered very little defensively or going forward.
• Lasted just one season.

8. Emmanuel Emenike (2016 loan)

• Looked lively but had no finishing touch.
• 4 months, 2 goals, and a lot of frustration.

9. Gökhan Töre (2016–17)

• Loan from Beşiktaş, cost around £2.5m in loan fees.
• Constantly injured, no goals, and gone after 8 games.

10. Roger “The Relegator” Johnson (2014)

• Brought in during an injury crisis.
• Quickly became a meme for his errors in the 6–0 League Cup defeat to Man City.

[Swiss.]

Gary Breen

That's it.

[Far Cough UKunt]

Gary Breen

[Swiss.]

That Irish defender who's name escapes me who great in the WC but was frightened to tackle for us? 

[Far Cough UKunt]

The Spurs twat never has anything good to say about our players past or present, which you'd expect from a Spurs twat.

[Jean-Luc Paul Goddard]

Julian Discks (both times)
First time - Great player, best left back ibe seen at the club, but totally disrespected Billy Bonds and belittled him and the club causing player issues throughout. 
Second time - He left as thought he was bigger than the club, and totally flopped at Liverpool. Came back with no knee and was absolutely atrocious 

Rancid bait.

[9898]

Julian Discks (both times)
First time - Great player, best left back ibe seen at the club, but totally disrespected Billy Bonds and belittled him and the club causing player issues throughout. 
Second time - He left as thought he was bigger than the club, and totally flopped at Liverpool. Came back with no knee and was absolutely atrocious 

[dealcanvey]

a toss up between 9 out of the 10 strikers we have signed in the last 20 years.

[southbankbornnbred]

He should have been knighted for trying to kill the cսnt alone.

Ag ag ag!

[southbankbornnbred]

In all fairness, if we could vote for the stadium in this poll…many of us would.

No manager or player has ever stopped me wanting to go to West Ham. That shithole managed it.

As a member, I still go when I can. But I gave up my season ticket. As bad as he is, even Max Kilman couldn’t achieve that.

[Far Cough UKunt]

He should have been knighted for trying to kill the cսnt alone.

[Massive Attack]

[One Sunny Day]

Marco Boogers has got to be in with a shout. As well as never going to sell shirts, with that name, a million quid for him was huge money, at the time. And all we got for that was 10 minutes of him trying to kill Neville before getting sent off and pissing off back to the Netherlands.

[Swiss.]

Ljungberg and Suker come to mind. 

[Mad Ferret]

Does Mascherano count? 

A supposedly world class player who couldn’t get in the side ahead of Hayden Mullins.

Along with Tevez, ended up costing us a lot of money. Though at least Tevez kept us up.

[Far Cough UKunt]

Hayden Foxe taking a piss in a vase at a Christmas party. 

[stubbo-admin]

As things stand, Todibo has to be a good shout.

Fullkrug not far away in terms of output vs investment.

Danny Ings another that we spent a lot of money on for almost zero return. 


There was obviously some real garbage under Redknapp and soon after.

Song was bad (especially given he was the Rio replacement). Dumitrecu....pursued for ages then barely played. Foxe another we battled for a work permit for for an age and then barely played. 

Zaza, Tore, Nordveidt...all miserable signings. 

Roberto was diabolical of course under Pellegrini.

The Chilean lad and Savio that were part of the master plan under Zola. 

Plenty of howlers as I'm sure all clubs have. 

If I had to pick one right now in terms of cost, what they've delivered, and impact on the side's fortunes....id have to say for me it's Füllkrug.

[zico]

David Kelly and Alan McKnight (mare) unfortunately just about done for Lyall.so must rank among the worst 

 

Gary Strodder too if I remember rightly.  To be fair to John, Kelly was being looked at (apparently) by a lot of clubs and when he left he did quite well at Leicester, Newcastle and Wolves.  Hiding to nothing trying to replace Frank and TC, plus I think inguries did for him in the end.  Alvin, Galey, Ray Stewart, Dev, nonew of them could stay fit.  Stewart Robson wasn't the best signing.  Think the fans loved him because he ran about but he wasn't really a West Ham type of player.

[WHUDeano]

Max Kilman by a country mile for me 

[greenie1]

Rigobert Song.


 

[BerlingtonBertie]

Talking of that Lee Bowyer was a pretty shit signing too

[One Sunny Day]

God, I remember doing a Blagg column on this back in the days when WHO was the Ironworks - yea, it's been that long smartarse - my winner was Derek Hales. His only claim to fame was his astonishing ability with facial hair. I once saw him turn out at v Coventry at Highfield Road clean-shaven before the match. By the time 90 minutes came around, he had a full beard. 

I mostly remember him for having an on pitch punch up with his team mate, when he was at Charlton 

[zebthecat]

He also bought in Bishop and Morley for Ward if I'm not mistaken.

That was a great deal given the impact both players made over time.
I never understood the stick that Bishop got from some of the West Ham faithful.
A couple of times I was sat behind a bloke in the West stand who shouted at Bishop relentlessly pretty much from kick off to the final whistle. I felt sorry for the poor kid who tagged along with him to the matches.