Saturday football

[Coffee]

"It’s back and a warm, sunny day is in store. Last night, the season’s opener saw Man U put Fulham to a blunt sword, but nonetheless shoved three points into the bag. Anything else would have got the media vultures circling ever lower over Ten Hag’s head. But they’ll be watching. There’s a sense of familiarity in the widely predicted top and bottom of the league, with Man City favourites for the title and the promoted sides again the pick of those to make a swift return from whence they came. Add Wolves, Bournemouth and Forest to that mix. Arsenal will give City serious competition for top spot. As will West Ham, of course. Now wake up. The first game of the season often throws up some unexpected results. Today’s possibilities include the Saints at St James Park, along with Chelsea (H, City) and Leicester (H, Spurs). *SATURDAY* IPSWICH vs LIVERPOOL (1230) Uh-oh, not quite what the poor old Tractor Boys would have wanted to mark their impressive return to the big time. A first look at Pool’s second consecutive monosyllabic boss with a vaguely amusing name and a test that he should pass with flying colours. Next up for Ipswich is a visit to the Etihad. They began last season with games against Sunderland and Stoke. Welcome back, boys. 0-3 ARSENAL vs WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS (1500) What would Arsenal have done for a couple of extra early season points in the last campaign or two? They’ll have to make the most of opportunities like this. 4-0 EVERTON vs BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION (1500) Another sticky season in store for the Toffees? Not to mention Brighton. Bottom half for both, but they’ll be relieved at the competition down there. 2-2 NEWCASTLE UNITED vs SOUTHAMPTON (1500) More will be expected of Newcastle this season, but can they deliver? On paper, a regulation home win, but the Saints will battle for every last point. 3-2 NOTTINGHAM FOREST vs BOURNEMOUTH (1500) Could this end up proving to be an early six-pointer? Home advantage for Forest and they’ll have to make the most of it. 2-1 WEST HAM UNITED vs ASTON VILLA (1730) What a phenomenal few months it’s been for the Irons transfer Kaiser. Playing staff and ambition have turned around like never before. We’ll find out soon enough if they are matched by real-time sophistication and approach. Either way, we go into the new season strengthened in defence and with stunning forward options with the likes of captain Bowen, Kudus, who could really come into his own this year, and Paqueta who looks set to play the season. But has there been enough time for the new players to gel and get used to each other? After a couple of months, we’ll certainly be there, but now? Villa had an amazing last season and have the strength to build substantially on that. This is set to be a heck of first game between two strong sides and two strong managers, por favor, who will both be playing for a Champions League place or thereabouts. What a start to the season this promises to be. Exciting times ahead, starting, one hopes, this evening. 3-1 *SUNDAY* BRENTFORD vs CRYSTAL PALACE (1400) The first London derby of the year. Both sides have flirted with the lower reaches of the Premier League recently and will have to show grit to keep out of that region for another year. 1-1 CHELSEA vs MANCHESTER CITY (1630) Recent seasons have seen City struggle to show title-winning form early on. Chelsea, meanwhile, ended last season strongly and look set to continue that now. Should be a good, battling game. 1-1 *MONDAY* LEICESTER CITY vs TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR (2000) So Leicester made it back at the first attempt. Good for them. But a change of manager may not be quite so good for them as they look to stay up. Spurs’ ambitions lie at the other end of the table. 0-2 *CHAMPIONSHIP* Scott Parker got his managerial career back on track with a thumping win for his Burnley side at fellow relegated side Luton. A sign of things to come? They start their home campaign today against Cardiff, who should offer ready fodder for the Clarets. Leeds opened the season with a 3-3 home draw against Portsmouth and today visit the Baggies in the day’s early game. Derby’s return to the second tier sees them host Middlesboro, possible promotion contenders, while Millwall visit Bristol City. Another top notch season in the Championship coming up? Damn right."

[SecondOpinion]

"Well, if he's got nothing else to do......."

[Far Cough]

"wd40, didn't Vardy tell one of the Spurs players to fuck off, as well?"

[Coffee]

SecondOpinion 11:06 Wed Aug 21 Manuel's waiting for me to inform you that I've replied to your reply. Should I wait for him to wait a little longer?

[Manuel]

*Waits for Coffee to inform SecondOpinion that he's replied to his reply.

[SecondOpinion]

Replied!

[Coffee]

As do you.

[SecondOpinion]

COFFEE:- You have WhoMail

[wd40]

Vardy getting stick from the spurs fans gives it back in bucket loads reminding them they havnt won the league. Excellent stuff Mr Vardy.

[Manuel]

"Oh dear Ange, Spurs should have pissed this. Solanke looked sharp and will score a few for them."

[El Scorchio]

See. There’s always someone more comedy than us. Spurs are hilarious. From the first half they should have won about 8-0

[Mike Oxsaw]

1 to the 1 to the 1 to the 1. 1-1.

[twoleftfeet]

£65m spent on Solanki looks a bargain.

[Sydney_Iron]

"Leicester get a goal back against Spurs, that old cart horse Vardy i see! If it stays 1-1 should be enough to see a few Spurs fans want Ange out i would imagine. LOL We haven't had a draw yet, so about time...."

[twoleftfeet]

"That's right Manuel I want us to lose, I'm being a cսnt like the Moyes haters were last season. You fucking bell end. Yes I was a Moyes fan but I back whoever is in charge so I want us to beat everyone we play, my comment was based on watching City play and us play, on that form we will get twatted but let's see what JLO can do."

[Fauxstralian]

"Understand Sterling is sitting on a 3 year contract at £300,000 a week Life could be worse Good luck moving him on"

[Coffee]

Sterling's 'statement' is totally bizarre. The boy needs a good kick up the arse.

[Sydney_Iron]

"Chelsea looking a bit of a basket case! And on top of it all Raheem Sterling puts out a public statement because he wasn't picked in the match day squad, fuck me all a bit entitled isnt it. Enzo is a good shout to win the sack race IMO. LOL"

[Manuel]

feet - You mean you HOPE they will destroy us. You're a Moyes loving scumbag.

[twoleftfeet]

I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict that Man City will fucking destroy us.

[twoleftfeet]

Wharton will have a field day against our cart horses. I wonder if Noble still has his boots?

[happygilmore]

First weekend and refereeing as shocking as ever. Cracking Eze free kick disallowed

[happygilmore]

First weekend and refereeing as shocking as ever. Cracking Eze free kick disallowed

[terry-h]

"My West London contact tells me a Saudi club are offering 30 mil for Toney but he wants to go to Arsenal preferably. We will be stuck with Antonio, Ings and the German. My guess is we will be pointless after Palace game."

[ludo21]

Really thought that JL was going to be the man to give youth a chance. Great shame. Watching Palace… they are going to tear us apart next weekend!

[Fauxstralian]

Can’t be many other takers unless he is retiring to Saudi Tottenham have now gone for Solanke so that’s them out of the picture