Anxiety/depression

[Tomshardware]

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

[Crassus]

"Riddle None needed mate, this is both a delicate and complex subject and as always a little knowledge is a dangerous thing - as I have said, I know little technically bar those experiences of life we sometimes encounter"

[J.Riddle]

"Crassus, apologies I should have said drinking alone, as that is when I have noticed myself get emotional about historic problems, becoming depressed in a nutshell and alcohol was the trigger. Arranging to meet someone socially for a drink to talk about problems is as you say a good way of being able to express feelings that you most probably wouldn't if sober. Drinking alone at home or away with work or on business for example is not good, better to abstain and get rid of any booze at home imh."

[Crassus]

"Riddle I suspect that you are correct mate, and as I have said, I am no expert, dinking alone and sinking through the bottom of a glass may not be ideal I will say though, that calling a someone and saying I need to have a word and unloading through drink may not be the worse way foward If it takes a drink to shed the veneer of self imposed expectancy to cut to the brass tacks, then it can work Whatever, the key is to talk, surely that is right? Acceptance of an issue is always the first step, so what ever breaks the barriers do it and watch the sun rise from there"

[J.Riddle]

I know that I have got emotional when I have had a fair few drinks and realised that drinking makes things much worse. My best mate was found hanging with an empty bottle of Vodka next to him (although he was heavily in debt to some infamous characters so rumoured that they left it there)? Anyway the point is if your feeling depressed abstain from alcohol.

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The more I read on here - and the more I think back to the end of my marriage, I'm starting to think that maybe I was in a similar dark place to that which many of you have described. That means that thee IS a way out AND a way to get your life back on track, but it does come at a price. You could end up being just like me...and support BREXIT!!!"

[Crassus]

"Balto It would appear that in reality, the greatest non sensical view is if you don't feel as 'you' do periodically - your mindset resonates very clearly and widely mate, you are not alone I don't know why, I have no answers merely the observation that seemingly most on here have to a lesser or greater degree sadly felt like you or at least had to deal with the consequences of those thoughts What a reflection of modern life eh? Well, the upside is that for sure, don't feel alone, you are not and remember this if nothing else, it is always darkest before dawn and the new day is coming quickly The only advice I can offer is to talk until that sun rises, as it surely will, then go again, because you can, we all can - I have seen it and done it too Best wishes to you and everyone like minded"

[Nutsin]

"Balto get yourself some help mate. It's no way to live. You could find it's an easy fix. There's a lot of people out there feeling the same as you, you are not alone and it's nothing new. Hope you figure it. All the best to you and your family."

[Balto]

Thanks for responses. Norman ..... the suggestion of the Aquascutum raincoat made me laugh. I don't know whether any of you feel like this but I can be in the middle of my family life and yet feel totally apart and it takes tremendous effort to really engage with those around me. Not sure of that makes any sense.

[Westham67]

"Balto. I have been there and still am sometimes. I agree about it comes in waves. After getting sick in Singapore over 4 years ago my life has fell apart. I was misdiagnosed and given conflicting meds that gave me cramp in my legs that I couldn't stretch out. I saw a psychiatrist on October and he told my GP I was in urgent need of medication, due to the abovementioned mistreatment up to now I have not taken them but after I read B took his own life I will start taking them, the prescription has been sitting in my draw for 3 months"

[Westham67]

"Balto. I have been there and still am sometimes. I agree about it comes in waves. After getting sick in Singapore over 4 years ago my life has fell apart. I was misdiagnosed and given conflicting meds that gave me cramp in my legs that I couldn't stretch out. I saw a psychiatrist on October and he told my GP I was in urgent need of medication, due to the abovementioned mistreatment up to now I have not taken them but after I read B took his own life I will start taking them, the prescription has been sitting in my draw for 3 months"

[Tomshardware]

"Balto, probably a good idea to get some help. I can empathise with the dark thoughts."

[Mike Oxsaw]

Ronald_antly 10:08 Sun Jan 19 Only when a small medium's at large.

[Darby_]

"Was searching through my suitcase and found some 'Durian soft candy"". Tastes dreadful for the first 20 seconds but after that you find yourself wanting another one."

[Ronald_antly]

"""Plus, every successful contract completed is another resounding ""Fuck You!"" to my careers officer back at secondary school ..."" Do you keep in touch?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Alfs 3:10 Sun Jan 19 There's a lot to be said for ""going it alone"", despite it appearing, on the surface appearing to compound the ""loneliness aspect"". I spent 21 successful years at BT, starting as an apprenticeship and still had a ""good career"" ahead of me,so could have ""stayed the course"". Family ad friends would have nodded approvingly. The work though was shallow; I was more and more just doing what other people wanted, and most of that seemed irrelevant - it turns out it wasn't, but that's another story. I chose to leave in the early 90s and start my own ""one-man show"". It wasn't easy, by a long shot, but it was mine, it was me. It was actually one of the better choices in my life as I do have more direct control on my life; I can choose to work when I want, not when somebody else wants me to - albeit generally in 3-month blocks. That means that if I make a poor choice (of client), ""get-out"" is only ever 90 days away, and that in itself is a positive driver. It's not for everyone, but working for yourself is not really as daunting as it is often made out to be. (Plus, every successful contract completed is another resounding ""Fuck You!"" to my careers officer back at secondary school who, rather publicly, declared that the best career I could expect was to be ""hanging doors on Ford Cortinas at Fords"".)"

[Manuel]

"''Scrape away at the veneer and most of the time I feel pretty helpless and depressed'' Tbh I think tens of millions of people all over the world feel exactly like that, although you do go on to qualify it by listing all the bad turns of luck you have had. All the best fella."

[normannomates]

Balto Well supporting WHU is a life tapestry. Don't go to deep balto.. Acknowledge and appreciate the basics that don't even register with most.. For me it's nature and birds.. For you it could be investing in a decent flasher mac [aquascutum]. impressing the locals.

[Sydney_Iron]

"Balto, Your not alone, your on WHO......but LOL, i was going to say i bet you feel a bit better just from posting!!! hopefully that post was your turning point. Cheezey, You may well be right, thnk Gavros was more Alcohol related, but thnik he may well of had other demons, hence that alcohol abuse. norm, thanks......"

[Balto]

"Sydney and Alfs ... thank you for that. It goes in waves. So far, I have avoided taking any medication. We have quite good health benefits through my wife's job (important in the U.S.) so I think I might go and see a therapist which I have done before. Ironically, this post has helped me because I don't feel so alone. I'm trying to work out what part of me is depressed because of a chemical imbalance in my body and what part of it can be attributed to circumstances. One thing that normally cheers me up is watching West Ham on the box with my youngest son who plays competitive ""soccer."" We were shit today and that didn't help."

[Cheezey Bell-End]

I thought that Gavros was just from drinking too much and wasn't deliberate. That's how I understood was was said at the time.

[normannomates]

Nice one Sydney.

[Sydney_Iron]

"Balto Life’s a bitch at times, and sometimes it just seems to be one thing after another, thing is to try and stay positive which is far easier said than done and what’s often the first thing you hear when you do talk about it, but its also very true! Maybe see your GP as a first step if you haven’t already, if need be get on some meds for the short term, talk to your wife, or friends, you have posted on WHO and that’s a start to opening up and talking about it, many don’t and bottle it up and then get to a point of deep despair and no hope, yes we maybe anonymous to each other on WHO but we are also a community and by the sounds of things many here can relate to and experience day to day the struggles that many men face with depression, and at the extreme must get so out of touch and feel like there is no hope as Eddie, Gavros and Piggy must have that they take that step to finish it and leave behind devastated family and friends. Don’t let the dark side take over or become all consuming as things then seem worse than they are or minor things get to you as well, think of your kids and family, think anyone who has kids goes through a certain degree of angst, worry and stress because of them, some more than others, and sounds like you really have your hands full, but expect they will need you in the months and years ahead, so try and get yourself in a good space for there sake, on the job front, get out there and sell yourself, I wouldn’t be telling them my age until I had an interview not that it’s a big a problem as some think these days especially if you have very good track record, think most of this thing about being “To Old” is from the job seeker side rather than the employer side, with more and more people staying in the workforce longer, being early 60,s is not seen as it was say 20 years ago, you have another good 10 years at least….. Hang in there mate, and all the best."

[Alfs]

"Balto - with all of your experience as a marketing director of course people will be interested in your skills. Have you thought of going freelance and doing consultancy work? Businesses are desperate for good marketing people as quite frankly, there are not that many good ones around. I speak to them on a daily basis and am often stunned by how inept they are in describing what their business does. If you can't describe that succinctly, what the fuck are you doing in marketing? Off-topic, I realise, Just trying to help."

[Balto]

"This thread has really struck a chord with me. From the outside my life looks wonderful. I live in a nice house in California, have a beautiful wife and three amazing kids. Scrape away at the veneer and most of the time I feel pretty helpless and depressed. Over the past two years the following shit has happened. My eldest child who has a mild form of epilepsy that turned into bi-polar disorder. We had to fly up to her college and bring her home. My mother-in-law - who I adored - died very suddenly. Two years ago, my son started self-harming because of pressure at school. He also crashed our car which was written off. I took a new job that turned out to have a colleague that was a psychopath and due to stress, I ended up in the emergency room with very high blood pressure and a heart rate that was a cause for concern. I went back to work and was “let go” which was a relief. The only problem is that nobody is interested in a 62-year-old marketing director. I’m currently taking a very difficult online course at UC Berkeley to update my skills. I was at home alone on Thursday and listening to a BBC Radio 4 program and just started crying uncontrollably. Hearing songs that bring back the past can set me off. Part of it was feeling sorry for myself but a big part was “what’s the fucking point?” I’ve known quite a few couples where the woman’s previous husband has killed himself and in most cases the kids are too quiet or get themselves entangled in a serious relationship too early in their lives. I don’t want to mess up other people’s lives, but I think suicidal thoughts every couple of days."

[Peckham]

All good. Thanks. Safe flight.