Anxiety/depression

[Tomshardware]

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

[HairyHammer]

"Still lost and haunted, oh restless mind Tired of movement so you step behind And so abandoned of positive thought's Even the pureness of love is not sought Maybe a dream will bring some release But they only darken when they cease Yet some day's you know that hope is near As your tortured mind, stands blind to its fear. Hairyhammer"

[zebthecat]

Joe C 10:12 Thu Jan 23 I am with you there and have lived this (not any more thankfully). Worked for a US based Investment Banking IT firm for 9 years and the first thing you do is sign away your EU Employment directive rights. We recorded all our hours on a home rolled ticket tracking (JIRA with knobs on) and did things as a matter of course such as the quarterly Linux patches (done at times suitable to the team in New York i.e. 1am our time). We had it easy though compared to our regression test team in Chennai. The worst I had was getting a text alert at 2am telling me our data replication had failed. Another development team in Manila had accidentally run some code in development against our live servers. Took a couple of hours to sort it out and it was regarded as par for the course. Having said all that they were very good employers and did their best to keep hold of you once they knew you were good. Was offered a big pay rise when I resigned (work/life balance thing) and have not regretted leaving since (apart from the free lunches especially Burrito Thirsaday)

[J.Riddle]

"I can relate to this, was a mortgage prisoner back in the 90s when interest was 17% and house values dropped 40%, many years later managed to sell when the market picked up. I expect many can also resonate. Mortgage prisoners” trapped in home loans they cannot escape have suffered heart attacks, strokes, depression and even died of suicide as a result of the stress of their situation, a survey has revealed. Campaign group UK Mortgage Prisoners action group polled 170 of its members who had been forced to pay far in excess of market rates on home loans taken out before the financial crash because of government changes to lending affordability rules. Many face imminent repossession of their homes even though they would have been able to pay off their mortgage if they were not being overcharged, the group said. The survey responses detailed harrowing experiences in a number of cases, and will heap further pressure on government ministers and the financial watchdog to act. One respondent wrote: “My husband had a stroke few years after getting mortgage.” This forced the person to switch to an interest-only mortgage to afford the repayments. Every time I get up to date, they [the mortgage company] add charges. I now owe more than [I borrowed] and been paying for 12 years. Felt at times about ending it all but not fair on my kids as it’s hard since their dad had a stroke and brain tumour.” The most commonly reported problems were severe depression, anxiety, issues with sleeping causing exhaustion and fatigue, mental breakdown, panic attacks and mood swings. Others said they felt mentally drained, overwhelmed and permanently in a state of worry, with little control and no way out. For some, the consequences have been significantly more serious. I’m sitting here cold as I cannot afford any heating ... no life whatsoever, just a struggle each day Mortgage prisoner “It has caused me anxiety and my doctor put me on antidepressants ... I had a heart attack due to stress,” one respondent said. “My husband walked out on me and my children as he couldn’t take the pressure anymore, so I had to bring up the children on my own whilst trying to pay the mortgage, which is interest only. I am sitting here freezing cold as I cannot afford any heating, no holiday for eight years, no life whatsoever, just a struggle each day.” Legal action gives renewed hope for 200,000 mortgage prisoners The person summed up the situation that many mortgage prisoners feel trapped in: a change in circumstances causes them to struggle to afford their high-interest repayments but the mortgage company will not let them move to a cheaper deal, or in some cases even downsize to a more affordable house while paying the same rate. “I asked to port my mortgage to a smaller house when my husband walked out but I was denied. “I can’t move, I am stuck with a huge interest rate, which I am paying each month, but cannot afford a lower interest rate! The whole family are suffering!” Another mortgage prisoner wrote: “It has caused a death, my mother has suffered a stroke and my brother is severely depressed and unable to work.” Prescriptions for antidepressants are a common theme running through a number of responses: “It’s been a difficult time for our family, my wife is now on medication for depression. “The stress of being trapped in a mortgage and struggle to manage monthly has had a devastating impact. “My sister who was in a similar position, her marriage ended as her hubby couldn’t manage financially. She sadly commit[ted] suicide in June. We have no doubt the mortgage mess they were in played a huge role in her mental health deterioration.” Five people who filled out the survey said they had contemplated taking their own lives. In a report detailing the survey’s findings, UK Mortgage Prisoners said many people feel they are sitting on a “ticking time bomb” as their mortgage terms come to an end. Most took out mortgages with Northern Rock or Bradford & Bingley before the lenders collapsed and were bailed out by the government. The companies then became “zombie” lenders, meaning they could no longer offer new loans."

[Mike Oxsaw]

As if sacked mattered to a real man...

[BRANDED]

That’s you sacked then.

[Joe C]

"My work are big supporters of having a home/work life balance, and have a number of mental health initiatives going on. When I got back on Monday, I had a chat with them about how I felt while I was out in Singapore and that none of what they promote seems to apply to IT as we're just expected to get stuff done - so we're overworked, stressed etc and they're all things that feed into mental health issues. One of the things they are implementing now is demand and capacity planning, to see where people are over worked and we're under staffed. So i went back through the last quarter and filled it in. Yesterday I got pulled into a video conference with HR and my boss, the Group CIO in the US to go over it. First question they asked was ""According to these figures, you are at 165% capacity - how is that possible, have you filled this in accurately?"" Went through everything with them, showing what I do in office hours, what I do on weekdays outside of office hours (usually from home) and what I end up having to do at weekends to make sure it's done. Fuck knows if it will change anything - one of the things I said is that I would like to travel less and the CIO said ""Ok, come over to the US next month and we'll plan that out."" I mean, FFS - but the looks on their faces when I left showed they were certainly very shocked. So what Mike says is true. Don't be afraid to push back - I certainly am now"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Don't be afraid to push back. Don't be afraid to say ""No, I can't do that"". Don't take on too much (responsibility). These days, people are expected to deliver, deliver, deliver. A business doesn't care how, just deliver. If you won't do it, we'll find someone who will. But that thought has now escaped from the business world and seems to permeate all we do. You're ""expected"" to be up to date with all the news. You must ""like"" this...but not that. You must have at least ""an average"" number of friends & acquaintances. In fact, you're expected to live YOUR whole life according to somebody else's expectations. Dick Feynman had an apt phrase to use here : ""You're not responsible for what others expect of you"" - or words to that effect. THEIR expectation are for them to worry about, not for you to live up to."

[normannomates]

I think social media and modern way of things are a lot to blame.. Bods my age grew up in good order.. Now its full of cunts I have to retreat into a few books for sanity to prevail. I just say this.. never.. ever give in.. As many good bods on here say.. You have friends and you ain't alone

[normannomates]

Dump 1.51

[normannomates]

Never give up üëç

[normannomates]

Never give up üëç

[madhammerette]

"I can see some truth in what Sniper says and agree with GD too. My better half's brother took his own life in mid January 2018. We were with him over Christmas, as we often are. Usually he was a bit wild. (I.e: getting the kids to wrap him up in sellotape, consuming a stupid amount of chili sauce and sneakily feeding the kids chilli chocolate.) His last year with us was calmer, happier, a bit wistful and incredibly engaging. It was the most content I've ever known him to be. I don't know if he knew then but it was certainly a shift in behaviour. I'm not sure what we are getting wrong as a country but something isn't quite right with how we're triggering men's thought patterns. My brother went AWOL last year. Ex-servicemen, PTSD and has a knack of flying off the handle. For this reason, he can't see his kids. His ex-wife found a new chap and he couldn't quite control his emotions when the kids mention him and he'd fly off in a rant. They get scared, mum says no access etc... Furthermore, he wanted to become a fireman after leaving the air force but failed on medical grounds due to hearing impediments as a result of being in the middle eastern wars. It was a fair bit of shit all mashed together. That evening he had right barny with his girlfriend, then his ex. Both contacted my sis to try to calm him. We couldn't get hold of him, my sis was concerned he might kill himself. I called the police who were very dismissive. As the evening wore on and we retraced his steps through friends who had seen in him in a state in various pubs, I called the police again. Only when I mentioned that we'd recently had suicide in the extended family did they pull out all the stops. Policeman at my door at 4am unexpectedly asking incredibly detailed questions. Apparently, for some unknown reason, there can be a bit of contagion when a suicide occurs, it can almost seem an acceptable option to some if an acquaintance has done it. The stats are quite overwhelming. Anyways, he was fine. They found him hiding at a mate's house to get his head straight. They put him onto get a bit of counselling for ex-service and he went on to get a world record in the marathon a few months later as part of a 6 man costume. The nutter."

[Leonard Hatred]

Shut up Hairy you tit

[HairyHammer]

Anxiety is like a wife who constantly nags in your ear. Depression is a beautiful woman whom you love deeply when in your early 20's that cheats on you with abandon whilst constantly reminding you that you are not proficient in the bedroom department and even if somehow you were your penis was too tiny to make her come. Big difference .

[Boycie]

"Valley Hammer 12:10 Thu Jan 23 Valley you can do them all round the world. Did one in bordeaux and it was roasting, very friendly people it was a highlight of my break"

[Gruesome Dump]

"Not entirely sure this mental health ‘awareness’ drive is having the effect it’s professed to have. Aimed at young men? Enlightening them? Seems to me that bringing it quite so sharply into the limelight is, perversely, encouraging folk to top themselves. Or, at best, suggesting how acceptable it’s become. Needs a rethink."

[Sniper]

"Clark Carlisles missis is a remarkable woman when it comes to speaking about mental illness from the perspective of the loved one of someone suffering I was trying to find some quotes for her from an interview she did along side him on 5live where she talked about the most dangerous times actually being when the sufferer appears happy because that could be because they’ve made a final decision to make a final act, and that had lifted their gloom Instead I found this, which is a fairly candid attempt at understanding: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/clarke-carlisles-wife-speaks-first-13655115.amp"

[Valley Hammer]

"Anyone suffering from this could do worse than get involved in parkrun. For anyone who isn't familiar, they are timed 5k runs and take place at 9am Saturday mornings, in towns and cities all over the country. Lots of people have reported that they have helped them with depression and anxiety. The runs are free, just register on the website; parkrun.org.uk and you will be sent a barcode to print off. It;s generally a very varied standard, from top runners down to slow walkers, so no one will be embarrassed."

[Bungo]

Northern Sold 6:17 Wed Jan 22 Many people have cardiac problems who have not suffered with depression. Cardiovascular disease has many causes (including over use of steroids).

[Peckham]

"Darlo Debs 9:20 Mon Jan 20 Re: Anxiety/depression On a similar theme has anyone had any weird pain manifest itself as a result of stress or anxiety. Yes Debs stress and anxiety can put stress and pain in parts of the body. I am being checked for Pulmonary Artery Disease , at night Oxygen does not get to my legs and knees , back and ankle severe pain. Going to a Military pain clinic to learn more, they think the medicine I have took for years has not helped. Was A&E December 20th due to arms and legs going into discomfort and pain and no nothing to do with drink or drugs. Depression and lack of exercise. But there is a relation between stress and pain. If that makes sense."

[Northern Sold]

I know a lot of people Debs... so the percentage is quite small....

[Darlo Debs]

"Northern have you ever considered that while heart attacks aren't as common as you might think, you've known a lot of people that have had them. Are you stressing out all.your friends?"

[Northern Sold]

Was that the coroners verdict then Bolty?? I know of around a dozen blokes that have had cardiac's... some of them as fit as a flea... one died going through the finish line of the Southend 10k... another playing football Sunday mornings... one of my old MATES ex-pro footballer heart attack (survived) .. and now one of my best MATES had 3 attacks whilst at LAX airport and ended up 2 weeks in the USC Hospital... none of them have ever been depressed... so that is why I was asking??

[Block]

"Northern Sold 11:32 Wed Jan 22 Heart attacked induced by drink and drugs, which was off the back of being depressed. Was an accident, but brought on by depression etc."

[Alfs]

"Another Hammer (not a WHOer to my knowledge) who I vaguely knew locally topped himself about three weeks ago. Only 34. Wife, two kids. Everyone around him thought he was happy and fine and then one night he walked nine miles into the countryside and then threw himself under a train. No one had an inkling."