Anxiety/depression

[Tomshardware]

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

[Billy Blagg]

"Thanks to everyone who contacted me here or via WHOmail. I can't tell you how much it was appreciated and shows what a special bunch Hammers fans are. I'm particularly grateful to the person who sent me their mobile number. I was really touched. It will come as a surprise to people who've read my stuff here since the late '90's but I do my talking on the k/board, outside I'm pretty quiet with only a handful of key friends...I try to get by on my own (I think if you're an only child it's second nature) but I will ring even if only to thank you. Anyway, I decided earlier in the week to go to 'Blue Christmas' A 'socially-distanced Carol service of comfort and hope for those who find this time of year difficult' at St James's Church in Piccadilly. Now I'm not actually religious but my mum made me go to church when I was a kid and it's kinda rubbed off on me and I get a lot of solace from going if I'm struggling and - though its miles away from where I live - I regard St James's as my local. In fact, I volunteered to feed the homeless there last Christmas Day. So I sat down, the service started and there was a stunning singer doing the carols and I just went. I mean really sobbing. In the hour long service I don't think I stopped for five minutes. During winter there are often homeless visitors who go in for shelter and one bloke - bless him - must have thought 'fuck social distancing' and came over to see if I was ok and offer me a sweet. He left before the end I tried to find him after to stand him a meal but he'd gone. So, that stuff I was saying about not being able to show any emotion. I must have had a good years worth right there this afternoon. Strange how things go sometimes."

[normannomates]

"Billy Sorry mate, I couldn't reply to PM.. have trouble with that, fook knows why. Stick in there pal, as Lab says, you ain't alone. Thanks for everything, believe me, you have helped me at this time of year, year on year with your work. stay strong pal"

[normannomates]

"Billy Sorry mate, I couldn't reply to PM.. have trouble with that, fook knows why. Stick in there pal, as Lab says, you ain't alone. Thanks for everything, believe me, you have helped me at this time of year, year on year with your work. stay strong pal"

[lab]

"Billy, I’m sorry if this sounds simplistic, people you have lost will want you to keep your head up and go forward. Keep talking matey , plenty of us will be there for you ."

[one iron]

billy you have mail.

[one iron]

"billy try thinking about things you both liked todo, music your lady loved,with out this outlet, i worry for you my friend, iwas not close to my mum and dad, but still go to the grave every four weeks to clean it,you need to talk my friend. good luck mate."

[Billy Blagg]

"Tomshardware 11:27 Thu Dec 10 Agreed Tom but sometimes they don't come. I don't feel I've bottled anything up but I've found it really hard to cry after losing my dad last November and my mum six weeks later. I didn't shed one tear for either and though I've had a few sobs since they are still for my wife.I'm emptying a house I grew up in and every time I go - usually twice a week - it just gets more depressing. I was there today and was thinking how that would look at this time in other years; coal fire roaring, me father burning chestnuts. Now it's cold and empty and that's how I feel inside. Just dead. This will be my third Christmas without Lady B and I genuinely don't think there's a minute goes by I don't think about her. I'd love to sit and cry but they just don't flow."

[normannomates]

Block 6.41 And there it is.. Fair fucks Block

[Tomshardware]

"one iron 8:07 Tue Dec 8 Agree with that, I used to bottle things up but in recent years I have let emotions come to the surface and there is no shame in shedding tears."

[Northern Sold]

Ha ha ha... very good Mike

[Block]

"AG!!!!!!! (I wasn't suggesting having a kid to cure depression) It's just given me a purpose, I completely lost all purpose in my dark days."

[Mike Oxsaw]

I wouldn't recommend getting a kid for depression. You can't even get one for Ipswich away.

[Block]

"Definitely changes you, Iron son. I'd probably be dead, in all honesty."

[one iron]

"When i had my boys it changed me, without them i would have done alot of time."

[Side of Ham]

He probably needed winding Block son........ :-)

[Block]

"Since the birth of my boy, (sorry I do go on about him a fair bit) I've not once had any issues with my anxiety, I guess you don't really have time. However, the absolute joy of having a kid is nothing like I can ever explain, he smiled at me for the first time last night and i burst into tears. The dark, dark days I had sniffing stupid amounts of gear, drinking and gambling are long gone now, The kid has made me a man at last."

[one iron]

"All you lovely people on this site, boys never think that its weak to cry, its better to let it out then keep it in. In the last few years i would have filled a bath tub up,you get good and bad days, i think i get 10 good days with 30 bad ones out of 40 days,you can be lonely in a crowd thats for sure,"

[one iron]

"Billt its easy to just give up,ive had 3 great mates go this year you have.to set yourself goals, if you like holidays plan your trips in advance. this means you always have something to look forward to, do a plan b so if the first one goes tits up you still have something to look forward to, try finding some nice places to walk,i found this helped me, and billy ive been to hell and back, i wish you well mate."

[Sniper]

"Billy That’s just horrendous mate. Nobody should be expected to know how to or to be able to deal with that level of heartbreak, pain and misery. I am genuinely sorry for everything you’ve been through. I hope things get even slightly easier for you sometime very soon"

[Pickle Rick]

Billy Blagg 1:14 Thu Nov 26 I can empathise with that although mine is not to the extent yours is\was. I'm hoping the counselling will help me as its affecting my work and I still have 19 years to do to retirement so have to get a handle on this.

[Pickle Rick]

"Sniper 3:56 Tue Nov 24 Thanks Sniper, I appreciate your response."

[lab]

"Jeez Billy what a terrible run that is .You’ve got this far mate, it will get better."

[Billy Blagg]

"I've had three deaths in three years; Lady B in 2018, my dad last year and my mum this. I'm on my own now - no siblings - and though I've two kids they live a way away and, in any case, I don't want my life to impact theirs. I tried counselling both bereavement and Psychotherapy and I didn't get anything from either. I'm just trying to work through it on my own but it has been hard this year. I do wonder if you ever come through, to be honest. I guess it depends on where you are in your life and your prospects for some improvement. If I can get away on holiday and so some normal things then I hope '21 will be marginally better."

[Billy Blagg]

"I've had three deaths in three years; Lady B in 2018, my dad last year and my mum this. I'm on my own now - no siblings - and though I've two kids they live a way away and, in any case, I don't want my life to impact theirs. I tried counselling both bereavement and Psychotherapy and I didn't get anything from either. I'm just trying to work through it on my own but it has been hard this year. I do wonder if you ever come through, to be honest. I guess it depends on where you are in your life and your prospects for some improvement. If I can get away on holiday and so some normal things then I hope '21 will be marginally better."

[Balto]

"I posted on this thread back in the early days, and people were very sympathetic. I am amazed at how constructive this is. I followed quite a bit of the advice. I have done quite a bit of therapy in my life but have given it a rest for the past couple of years. I got into a row with the Missus about a week ago, and after the dust had settled, she told me I was depressed and needed to see someone. My default is that I try and focus on changing something in my real world, and after that, everything will be alright. That's all well and good, but often the cause is much deeper. However, I am going to get outside every day in the fresh air and exercise that makes a world of difference. Seeing that Lanzini goal go in with my son sat beside me was priceless and made my weekend."