Anxiety/depression

[Tomshardware]

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

[Westham67]

"Thanks, gents. Fraser I am in no condition to get into conversations if I start with one it will be all of them on FB. I have really posted since I got back in May 21"

[Sydney_Iron]

"I remember you telling me about the Tsunami experience on one of our meetings 67, did think at the time it must have been horrendous but you seemed to have dealt with it very well, almost sounded a bit of an adventure, maybe it was buried and you subconsciously blocked that horror side of it out, no expert on such things but have read of people getting the flashbacks, dreams etc and realising what they had seen or experienced and had gone through often years later. Stay strong mate, one day at a time, and happy birthday."

[fraser]

"'67 Happy birthday, hope you've had a good day."

[Westham67]

I did have a bit of that on Sunday I thought I would email him and say I will be ok in a month I have private heath insurance. I draughted the email and did not send it. I need to get better before I throw away the most stress free job I have had in a very long time. One of them was the Boxing day 2004 Tsunami Patong beach we were 50 meters from the carnage but we saw a lot of death and destruction. It was weird when I got back to Taiwan and saw the death toll rise 250 000. She (No link) asked a few questions and she said I have PTSD. I do dream about the sea quite frequently but I never though about it

[Westham67]

I did have a bit of that on Sunday I thought I would email him and say I will be ok in a month I have private heath insurance. I draughted the email and did not send it. I need to get better before I throw away the most stress free job I have had in a very long time. One of them was the Boxing day 2004 Tsunami Patong beach we were 50 meters from the carnage but we saw a lot of death and destruction. It was weird when I got back to Taiwan and saw the death toll rise 250 000. She (No link) asked a few questions and she said I have PTSD. I do dream about the sea quite frequently but I never though about it

[Moncurs Putting Iron]

"67 Smart move to recognise that the roles are the right role but wrong time in your journey and nice that there was follow up. Even when mental health and environment are not a factor people often make bad decisions based on FOMO further down the line, mature and brave on your part."

[Moncurs Putting Iron]

"Free advice (Might be relevant, might not) Get to the point where you can view and love and respect your Ex/estranged partner(Not sure if we are using that term yet) as the mother and fellow raiser of your boy, sit her down over a coffee and trash out a plan for the next 3 months that keeps the door open with him but allows you to focus on you. I dont know her but, She sounds like she genuinely wants a good outcome for you all"

[Pentonville]

taken on board. hopr ur ok too son xx

[Westham67]

"Pentonville. This is the same, same but different as they say in Thailand. When I got suicidal thoughts when a reference for a rental place was 1 day late. I spoke to the doctor and I have a psychologist calling me at 5m today to assess my need for a psychologist. I withdrew all of my Network rail applications I had an interview lined up for tomorrow in Milton Keynes. I blew that out and they wanted to do a Microsft teams interview. I got a call on Monday from the top bloke of the Southern region who I know and he asked me to do the interview as a formality. I told him I am not ready for any stress and he said call when you won't work. I need to get better first and get the treatment I need before I think of anything else and I would say applies to you sort yourself out first and go back to France and make that day 1 of your new life and everything that has happened previously put behind you and then start seeing your son"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"BRANDED 12:47 Mon Feb 7 Dick Feynman wrote about such things in one of his non-scientific books - ""Surely you're Joking"", or some such.. Long time since I read it but I think his assessment was generally positive, but he wasn't so sure the mandatory (at the time) pre-immersion joint offered anything useful."

[BRANDED]

"New Scientist LYING in the dark, my senses are straining for inputs and finding none. I am floating in warm, salty water that is so close to my body temperature, I can’t tell where my body ends and the water begins. After a while, my senses go quiet and my focus turns inwards. Now, all I am aware of is my breathing and the surprisingly loud beating of my heart. I am inside a pod-like floatation tank to try to boost my powers of interoception. According to a growing body of research, interoceptive sensations – those that originate from within the body, from its tissues, organs and chemicals circulating in the bloodstream – hold the key not only to better mental well-being, but to revolutionary new treatments for common, yet hard-to-treat conditions like depression, anxiety and eating disorders. With several now in clinical trials, it is a change of direction that could see the focus on the brain alone in mental health become a thing of the past, offering hope of progress for millions. In recent years, it has become clear that to really understand mental health, you need to factor in just how much the brain cares about what is going on below the neck. For any animal, survival depends on how well it can detect physical changes that may signal a threat and to take appropriate action to get things back on track. Interoception is a bit like our sixth sense – the ability to detect these bodily changes, from heartbeat to changing concentrations of certain hormones in the blood, as well as the psychological expression of these as feelings and emotions. Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg25333721-000-interoception-this-sixth-sense-could-be-key-to-better-mental-health/#ixzz7KCikJyjn"

[Pentonville]

"67, i have not touched gear in weeks and weeks same as booze. its easy not to. im aware if screws my life after 3 days if im stil doing it. beer doesnt mess me up for one night. its booze but its not a few beers. its being alone with my thoughts. im at my mums. i could go tomorrow night and have a few jars and smile and talk to people. bearing in mind i have not seen another human except a doctor or my mum or my son or my criminal wife. i think it would be nice to be normal for one night but i have no money or a ticket so dont worry, ill just be sitting in my mums house wondering where my life is going until thursday when i have choice to make. there is a flight booked. and its also the same day my son arrives for his 3 days. i either go or stay. i just want a normal night. my CBT therapy starts today and my phsychiatrist report from france states clearly im no alcoholic. it says i would take valium over booze. im addicted to stress. i try to protect everyone and do everything so maybe a control freak. and at moment i control nothing, not even my future. so im freaking. again, im just ranting. nobody need reply directly."

[Tomshardware]

"Pents I reckon you need to give yourself some slack, you've come a long way in a very short time. Can understand how you must feel when your boy leaves but that is completely normal to feel like that. Keeping sober is another big achievement, it's a cliche but take it one day at a time, if you have lots of time on your hands then I'd recommend getting out and walking in a green space to clear your head."

[Westham67]

You can have 2 lives mate. I with your son and one on your own. Get yourself some work if you can and onwards and upward. I know it's easier said than done from my own experience. The only happiness I can see is past and not present of future. I have a 30 minutes call tomorrow to be assessed for the need for a psychologist. I hope those meeting you at West Ham on Tuedays do try to get you with beer or gear

[Pentonville]

Sorry for making this a bit mumsnet (manuel that apoligy is for u) so im struggling today. Westham67 was right. i have taken on too much too soon with my boy. ive had him the past 2 weekends for 3 days and im not feeling good when he leaves. his mum came to get him today and i realised we are done finally. she was polite and caring and gave me a hug and a kiss on the head. the kiss on the head has buried me. so i know its done. i think i need to go back to france. i have nothing here. i cant do 3 days with my boy until i find myself. its devastating. i need direction and a home and my only home is in france. even though its risky being alone over there. im confused as fuck. i just think i need to go back or do i go to west ham on tuesday and meet some of u and see if i can find myself that way. rememebr who i am and where i came from. i dont know. just another SOBER rant.

[Manuel]

"Concur with what Chim says, that is really tough Sold, and isn't something that will just get 'better' in a few weeks. I hope things work out for you all in time. These last two years have been horrific."

[chim chim cha boo]

"Really genuinely sorry to hear that news NS. I wonder how the fuck young people have survived through lockdown. Imagine being a nineteen year old and going through this shit? These should be a kid's salad days, at that age I was having the time of my life, and you too. It's all been snatched away from her, the poor girl. I really hope that she finds her feet as the country slowly gets back to normal. These are strange days and I wish you and her all the best."

[⚒️]

Defo nothing to do with the parenting.

[Northern Sold]

Daughter just been confirmed Bipolar (aka Manic Depression)… Cheers Covid and University… you certainly fucked up my daughter…

[Pentonville]

trying. x

[FrancoisVanDerElst]

"Agree with 67 Think you need to concentrate on yourself first Pentonville before getting everything back as you’d like it Easier said than done I agree but only from my own experience of going thru similar shit you see the mistakes you made while in the worse moments Your son will benefit long term if you don’t rush it all, the time you don’t see him will be forgotten ,kids are fucking resilient to this stuff My advice get a job asap regardless if it means seeing your son a little less , work imo brings stability - financially and mentally - then build from there I believe you’ll get thru this and in a few years look back and be proud of yourself Good luck"

[FrancoisVanDerElst]

"Agree with 67 Think you need to concentrate on yourself first Pentonville before getting everything back as you’d like it Easier said than done I agree but only from my own experience of going thru similar shit you see the mistakes you made while in the worse moments Your son will benefit long term if you don’t rush it all, the time you don’t see him will be forgotten ,kids are fucking resilient to this stuff My advice get a job asap regardless if it means seeing your son a little less , work imo brings stability - financially and mentally - then build from there I believe you’ll get thru this and in a few years look back and be proud of yourself Good luck"

[Westham67]

Pentonville 2:10 Sun Jan 30 Been there and reaping the rewards 5 years later. My family could not fend for themselves so I had to go back on March 17 in Qatar I did not think twice they needed me If you still have a GP get them to write a letter to say you are a vulnerable person and whatever council you have links with go them and try to get a room. You must come to terms with is going to be long process

[Pentonville]

does anyone know a ghost writer too?

[Pentonville]

gents. please stop congratulating me for being alive still. i have achieved nothing. im in a world of shit. and proper confused. not mentally but i have Sophie's choice. go back to my home in France and try to get a job or go to doctors here ad get signed off and go on benefits but be classed as mentally unwell for benefits and be homeless so prob wont be able to see my son anyway. i aint mentally ill. im stressed. its different. has nobody got a fucking lovely guest house in the countryside where i can sit for 5 days calmly and plot my comeback. alone. i need space to collect my sober thoughts man.