The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Westham67]

TMS podcast on BBC Sounds 

The Ashes: "Don't call us arrogant," say Stokes as England begin preparations in Brisbane 

[Westham67]

A slim chance of getting anything at the Gabba with a pink ball and Starc bowling

They had a chance to go one up at Perth, and they blew it like they did, asking New Zealand to follow on and losing by one run and drawing a series when they should have won it. Declaring on the first day of the first test of the Ashes and losing

I can handle England's batting collapse, it's par for the course, but that batting perfonce at Perth was shameful

[Eerie Decent]

Haha

[Fauxstralian]

Birth places of Ashes wicket takers so far this series :
Australia 20
New Zealand 5
S Africa 5
Barbados 2
England 0

Mark Wood out of second Test
Knee problem 

[Eerie Decent]

Sam Konstas (out for 36) needs a couple of Sheffield Shield seasons to work on his technique.
Campbell Kellaway (82) will be in the Test team as an opener soon
Nathan McSweeney had a tough time v Bumrah but will be back.
Also batting is 19yo Oliver Peake who is very highly rated
Not playing here but a couple of young very quick bowlers in Callum Vidler & Mahli Beardman may be ready for the 2027 Ashes
Suspect will see Fergus O’Neill in 2027. Played a month for Nottinghamshire last season … 21 wickets @17.90
 

Are any of them Australian?

Would be a welcome change.

[Massive Attack]

They've got to stick to what they believe in playing Bazball, it would be good if they could just be a bit cuter when in to bat at times. As said before the bowling doesnt concern me, it's getting to grips fast with the bat that's going to get us back on track. That's a lot of pressure on the top order but that's to also be expected of them playing down under. Time to rise to the occasion..

[Fauxstralian]

Slightly pointless that the 2 day pink ball d/n game is going ahead in Canberra given none of the England XI will be playing in Brisbane
Maybe some might be back in 4 years time in the Test team

The Prime Ministers XI batting & 179/2
Lots of talk of Australia’s Dads Army but a few of these will appear soon 
Sam Konstas (out for 36) needs a couple of Sheffield Shield seasons to work on his technique.
Campbell Kellaway (82) will be in the Test team as an opener soon
Nathan McSweeney had a tough time v Bumrah but will be back.
Also batting is 19yo Oliver Peake who is very highly rated
Not playing here but a couple of young very quick bowlers in Callum Vidler & Mahli Beardman may be ready for the 2027 Ashes
Suspect will see Fergus O’Neill in 2027. Played a month for Nottinghamshire last season … 21 wickets @17.90
Ideally suited to English conditions 

[Takashi Miike]

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

This is nothing to do with the pitch, playing personell or conditions. This debacle is the result of a dereliction of responsibility, the fundamentals of test cricket batting have been completely ignored by England's better batsmen and they should be loudly condemned by anyone who cares about the state of the game . There is no room for disappointment after this, just anger at the complacency shown by people whe really should know better!

these blokes only have one gear....
Test Cricket used to be like a chess game..and it was glorious.
TWO DAYS

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

It needed a Sir Chef type player to hold the innings together but sadly we don’t have one of those. 

Those days have gone ..TEST cricket is over.
two days ...let that sink in.

[Takashi Miike]

[Massive Attack]

We've got plenty of runs left in the locker, it's just crowbarring the fuckers out that's the issue. Bazball needs to resort to using a sledgehammer or something to prize those runs out the Team.

[only1billybonds]

Think this will be a measure for the arrogance of the management. If they learn from he Perth disaster and apply themselves to batting in a responsible maker then they'll eventually be forgiven. Should those mistakes be repeated on this tour, it'll be seen as sheer bloody mindedness and appalling arrogance,knowing the sensible thing to do is back down but carrying on because of the belief in 'Bazball' 
One way or another, the Perth test may become a big turning point in our test playing future.

[Fauxstralian]

I think the teams are relatively evenly matched in talent 
The worrying thing for England is that when they throw away Tests they should have won in a brainless manner … at Perth & the final Test v India at the Oval… they come out with the Postecogolou line. That’s who we are Maaaate.

If you don’t learn & adapt you make the same mistakes 
England are still capable of winning if they play smarter when required

[Massive Attack]

They've got to treat it as a wake-up call if they want any chance of getting hold of the Ashes, in particular the batting. Get to grips with that then we have half a chance but continue having disastrous batting collapses then not a fucking chance. This aint a quality Aussie side of years gone past. We should be taking this opportunity to try and capitalise on it. The likes of Root and Crawley have got to get their shit together. They do that, then let's see..

[Fauxstralian]

It’s not a great Australian team with maybe half in their last series … but they hold every bilateral Test trophy against all other nations. Plus the ODI World Cup (won by another genius Travis Head innings)

England were in complete control at lunch 99 ahead and 9 wickets in hand. A solid first hour after lunch to see off Starc and Boland and they could have batted the day to be say 280 to 300 ahead 
The Bazball nonsense throwing it away was just stupidity 
Don’t seem to learn that there are times that aggression gets you into a good position and an hour of consolidation when the desperate opposition has to throw everything at you is smart cricket
Then again subtlety & nuance was never McCullum’s forte
 

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Three years prep apparently..?  
Done up like a kipper within two days..(TWO FUCKIN DAYS ).. against an average (at best )  convict  outfit.
Two FUCKING DAYS SHOULD GO DONE IN ASHES HISTORY.
Pathetic cunts

[BRANDED]

All good for the T20 series then

[Swiss.]

31 wickets have now fallen within two days play. Awful shocker of a wicket.

Highlight which of those 31 wickets was solely down to the pitch and then we can have a proper grown up conversation. I won't hold my breath

Exactly and they made 202 - 2 . Hardly a shit score. 

[Swiss.]

Head the cսnt loves playing against us. So we bowl crap short stuff and they bazball it. Twats all of them. Our confidence will be shattered . Problem we have had is the upper order has been shit since Cook retired. We’ve papered over the cracks by Root getting a lot of runs at 4 and the middle order smashing runs . That ain’t gonna work in Australia. 

[Swiss.]

I knew it was going one of 2 ways and feared this. Bazball is shit in Aussie conditions as I said before. We were 59 for 1 when I went to sleep. Expected to wake up to score like 350 for 7…jeez WTF happened.

Cummins and Hazelwood back next test. We are fucked a 5-0 thrashing . I won’t even bother to watch .

[Fauxstralian]

Root has the technique and has scored 9 fifties in 29 innings in Australia although he averages 33
Dragged one on today but the shot he relieves any pressure in England … the dab down to third man for a single … is a low percentage shot when the ball lifts off a length 
Youd think on his 4th tour he’d have put that away

[zebthecat]

England are a pushover when they try to play Baaaaaazball against the Aussies.

The approach to bowling is bang on. The batting is just impatient, excuse-laden pub-team slogging.

This is not a great Aussie side. But this series will end 4-0 or similar unless England ditch their spineless approach to batting. Getting bowled out in 32 overs - like a shit one-day side - in test matches is a dereliction of duty.

Well it was until Ben Stokes somehow came to the conclusion that banging it in short againt Travis Head was a wise move and then stuck to it.

[onsideman]

Chef... or Goochie... or frankly anyone with a solid technique and capable of picking his shots and playing every ball on it's merits

Root is the only one we have.

Yes he is... seemingly until he pads up down under

[southbankbornnbred]

England are a pushover when they try to play Baaaaaazball against the Aussies.

The approach to bowling is bang on. The batting is just impatient, excuse-laden pub-team slogging.

This is not a great Aussie side. But this series will end 4-0 or similar unless England ditch their spineless approach to batting. Getting bowled out in 32 overs - like a shit one-day side - in test matches is a dereliction of duty.