The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Fauxstralian]

Not sure when the Barmy Army started but recall it was when England were getting regularly hammered when Australia had a good team so I guess they are used to defeats
Obviously this time the expectation was higher against Dads Army that didn’t have a top order. 

As terrible as the cricket has been I’m sure most will still prefer to be in Australia in December on holiday than in England chuntering about Keir Starmer only triple locking their pensions instead of doubling them

[Massive Attack]

You make a great point about the Barmy Army. The Team has a responsibility to peform out of their skin for those that have paid through the nose and some to do such an expensive tour and purchased tickets. I know you take the risk but I'm sorry, I haven't seen most of these players busting a gut for the cause. They've so far let them fantastic travelling fans down this Tour. At the very least from here on in they’ve got to give it everything and not hide.

[Fauxstralian]

Not sure what is worse
Trescothick saying they didn’t discuss whether driving on the up on Australian pitches was a good idea
McCullum saying they prepared TOO much for this Test

Not doing themselves any favours & presume that goes down like a cup of cold sick amongst people who have paid thousands to fly out to watch them

[stubbo-admin]

[southbankbornnbred]

I sort of think there's little point trying to change approach now, though, because five or six of this side are just Baaazball players and probably can't play any other way: Crawley, Duckett, Brook (this version of him, anyway: he seems to have been brainwashed!), Smith, Jacks etc.

We might as well await the one innings of the tour (out of ten) where Bazball pays off. Somebody - Stokes, Brook or Duckett - will probably score a rapid 180 at some point and it will be massively entertaining. But we'll probably be 3-0 or 4-0 down by then.

[southbankbornnbred]

Whilst the current side are a pile of massive excrement, it's hardly like more traditional approaches have been that successful in Australia. In the last 4 series in series Australia, weve lost 2 series five nil, one four nil. The 2010/11 slaughter of the convicts being the notable exception. After each dicking from the convicts there is an inquiry, investigation,by the ECB, call it what you will, to ensure no repeat the next time. Only there is.

 

True. But that's more of a reflection of the fact that it's hard to beat Australia in Australia. For any touring side. The Aussies have an excellent home record - like we do against them (we haven't lost a home series to them since 2001).

It's about giving yourself your best chance of beating them. And almost nobody outside of the Bazbubble believes that playing Baaazball gave England their best chance of winning in Australia. They're too gnarled, too experienced and not intimidated by England's aggressive play.

The 2010/11 side was an exceptional team. But they also showed that, to win down under, you have to grind out runs and wear down the Aussie bowlers. Occupy the crease for long periods, keep them in the field for long, hot days and then bowl with real discipline (as well as aggression) - often on a good length. It's hard work and not something that can be got around by playing like a t20 side.

There's just no evidence that that playing at 100mph with the bat, wafting at everything outside off stump and trying to score 250 in 30 overs - and then banging in every ball short of a length - was going to work down there? It's just mindless, ineffective guff. Magic beans.

[Westham67]

Whilst the current side are a pile of massive excrement, it's hardly like more traditional approaches have been that successful in Australia. In the last 4 series in series Australia, weve lost 2 series five nil, one four nil. The 2010/11 slaughter of the convicts being the notable exception. After each dicking from the convicts there is an inquiry, investigation,by the ECB, call it what you will, to ensure no repeat the next time. Only there is.

 

Agreed, but this regime has not given theselves a chance. Most agree we should have won in Perth, but they played shots in the seconds and got themselves out instead of playing conventionally and grinding the Australian attack down tiring them and then start to get the scoreboard ticking over

They have batted like that in the past and thrown away test matches and series

[Westham67]

Nassar and Atherton were speaking about the number three replacement being Bethell, but he has played no red-ball cricket 

The "Lions" are getting tanked by Australia A

I do feel sorry for the fans who have paid good money to watch this exhibition of a waste of talent. It's unforgivable. I think there may be some resignations at the end of the series. But would some put their dignity before the money they will pay for a breach of contract?

[Westside]

Whilst the current side are a pile of massive excrement, it's hardly like more traditional approaches have been that successful in Australia. In the last 4 series in series Australia, weve lost 2 series five nil, one four nil. The 2010/11 slaughter of the convicts being the notable exception. After each dicking from the convicts there is an inquiry, investigation,by the ECB, call it what you will, to ensure no repeat the next time. Only there is.

[Eerie Decent]

At least the players are having a fantastic time off the field on this tour.

That's been the number 1 priority. 

[Fat, Bald n 50]

McCullum needs to go after this series, 2 humiliating defeats, the preposturous "we over prepared" There needs to be a complete clear out from selectors downwards.  No other side collapse in Australia like we are doing.

[Fauxstralian]

Broad was the decisive factor in some of Englands home Ashes win
More of a danger than Anderson who averaged 35 with the ball in Ashes series and imagine lost more Ashes Tests than any Englishman alive. Or dead

Always difficult to comment fairly on players you played with
Of course he was the one who OPINED that this was the worst Australian team in 15 years vs the best England team
Australia only had Khawaja in place in their top 3 & only redeeming feature was Cummins Starc Hazlewood & Lyon
England have just lost to a team without Khawaja & only Starc of those 4

[southbankbornnbred]

that 'overprepared' line from mccollum, amazing

He is delusional, more than any of them (which is saying something).

An imposter who tried to sell “magic beans” to gnarly fuckers who know magic beans don’t exist. But, when presented with the evidence, just covers his ears and shouts “MAGIC BEANS!”

[Takashi Miike]

that 'overprepared' line from mccollum, amazing

[stubbo-admin]

***Can we be mindful that it's a time of year that is difficult for many, and we never quite know who is affected by mental health troubles. 

Call each other a cսnt by any means, but let's not go in on mental health issues ***

[BerlingtonBertie]

Mentally weak Django - so its relevant.

[Westham67]

From Key downward, they have deluded themselves for a few years that their cunning plan would work in Australia, and now they cannot change their ways because they have all drunk the Kool-Aid of Bazball.

[only1billybonds]

SB.

Yea, thats fair, Broad was still very much an integral part of the set up just 18 months ago.

[Django]

Makes me laugh seeing Trescothick around the team - a bloke who once flew home from an Ashes series from mental health/depression as a player and left his team mates in the lurch. So whats he doing around the squad now. 

Of all the issues around the England team, you chose to comment on this.

[southbankbornnbred]

Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.

That will fade over time, though, as it did with Botham, Hussain and Atherton etc.

As his ex-teammates retire, he’ll get more critical. He’s also getting used to being a pundit. Agnew and others started out piss poor. You grow into it.

[southbankbornnbred]

There is one ray of hope in that Ben Stokes was obviously pissed off with the team's performance. His own captaincy has not helped with the persistent short stuff and never putting anyone at third man either.
The problem is who the hell can you bring in to replace those players who are not up to it?

 

 

You can’t. This tour is over. They’ve bet the house on Bazball. They don’t have a plan B, because - like all cults - they think only their “way” is correct.

[only1billybonds]

Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.

[southbankbornnbred]

It’s been hilariously cringe-inducing watching the England leadership (McCullum, Stokes etc) continue to double-down on spouting Bazball bollocks, while the entire world is looking at them like they’re fucking mental.

Watch Broad’s body language while McCullum is wanging on.

It really has become an insane cult.

Not a word of contrition, despite being murdered by a pretty average Aussie side (by their standards, and due to injuries) in two tests.

It’s really hard to like this England side because the leadership are so arrogant.

[Far Cough UKunt]

Pathetic excuse, just come out and say we're not that very good.

[Westham67]

McCullum's comment about England being "Overtrained " raised a few eyebrows in the cricketing world because they had not prepared for Australian conditions. Some of our batsmen (Batters, sorry) had not faced a pink ball.